7 Things to Remember When You Feel Like No One Cares 47


Are you feeling lost and unwanted, like no one cares about you? Hang on – I know how you feel! The most important thing to remember when you feel all alone in this world is that it’s a natural – and even healthy – part of being human.

Below are seven things to remember when you feel like no one cares about you. We were created with a longing in our hearts – a longing for deep connection, true meaning, and sincere love in our lives. The feeling that something is missing and nobody cares is a simply part of our human condition. Everyone feels this way at some point in their lives. Some of us feel like this most of the time – and this is partly what depression feels like and why it’s so common.





Your “lost and alone” feelings are actually a good thing, believe it or not! It means you’re in touch with your authentic self. You’re alive and real, self-aware and insightful. You’re not stuffing your feelings down or hiding behind walls. You’re actually allowing yourself to be real. It hurts, but being real is the best way to live.

I can’t change how you feel, but I can give you seven things to remember when you feel deeply lonely and alone.

No One Cares About You? 7 Things to Remember

“My husband passed away five months ago and we have three kids,” says Christie on How to Adjust to Being Alone. “One is in second year of college and the two are in junior high school. It’s different talking to my kids rather than my husband. He had a lot of things to share with me, he was a very informative person and knew alot about business, general events, politics and new technology. Now I feel very lonely and sad. We used to talk before bed, share laughter and discussion.”

She adds that she doesn’t know how to move on without thinking about him all the time. “I am still crying but I’m hoping I will be back to normal life again,” she says.

1. You can create a “new normal” in your life

If you’re feeling unwanted and lonely because you lost someone you love, then you need to create a new “normal life” for yourself. If you’re depressed because of a breakup, then you need to rebuild a new life that is more fulfilling and interesting than the one you left behind. If you’re devastated because you were rejected and you really do believe no one cares about you, then you need to take a deep breath and remind yourself of what is true, good, and pure.

This is work only you can do. What was your old life like? It’s time to let it go. What will the new normal in your life be? You can do this – you can recreate your life. And it may be even brighter and more beautiful than you can imagine.

2. You’d be surprised at how loved you are

Last night I was at a friend’s for dinner, and I told her that I want to move to a new city. Vancouver is beautiful, but it’s crowded and expensive and busy. I want to live more simply and quietly.

7 Things to Remember When You Feel Like No One Cares

7 Things to Remember When You Feel Like No One Cares

My friend told me that I don’t know how much I’ll be missed by my friends and community here. I wave her away, saying that I actually haven’t connected with many people at all. She disagreed. She said I really don’t have a clue about how much I matter.

What if it’s the same for you? Maybe you feel unwanted and like no one cares about you…but is it possible that there is one person who really does love you? Yes. It is possible. In fact, it’s probably true. Turn your thoughts and attention towards that person when you’re feeling like no one cares. Soak up her love, and remind yourself that you aren’t alone.

3. You’re fully alive when you’re feeling alone

The reason you’re struggling with feeling unwanted is because you’re actually tuning in to how you really think and feel. This is painful – but it is the best way to live!

When you tell yourself “no one cares about me”, you’re being brave and strong enough to face your true feelings. Do you know how rare this is? Most of us distract ourselves from feeling unwanted and alone by surfing the internet, spending money, making money, doing drugs, seeking adrenalin rushes. Some of us don’t notice our feelings of being lonely because we’re caught up in our families, parenting, jobs, responsibilities, and relationships. But eventually the distraction is taken away, such as with a breakup or death of a loved one, which I talk about in Words of Comfort When Your Heart is Broken.

4. You are in touch with your true, deepest, most real self

I love that you’re here! You searched the internet because you feel like no one cares. You clicked the title “7 Things to Remember When You Feel Like No One Cares” because you know how you feel.





Something is calling you. Do you not perceive it? You are feeling unwanted and you are acting on those feelings because you have a purpose on this earth. You were put here for a reason, and these feelings that no one cares will help you find your purpose. This is happening for a reason. You found “She Blossoms” for a reason. This isn’t just about feeling unwanted and like no one cares about you…this is part of a deeper, more important calling on your life.

Your job is to keep listening for that still small voice. To do that, you need to take time alone. “The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.” – Anne Frank.

5. You will get through this and be happy again!

It’s lonely and sad to feel like no one cares about you. It hurts. Even though I’m an optimist and I always look on the bright side without even trying, I know what it feels like to be alone in this world. It’s a gray, empty, sad feeling. I’m almost always happy, but even I have to admit that it’s terrible to feel unwanted, lost, and alone. I know how it feels: I spent my childhood moving in and out of foster homes. My mom is schizophrenic, my sister doesn’t want to have anything to do with me, and my dad lives in Israel. I didn’t even meet him until I was 27 years old.

Even Happy Positive Cheerful Energetic Me knows that these feelings are heavy, gray, and suffocating. One of the best ways to cope when you feel like no one cares is to remember that these feelings will pass. You will get through this, and you will feel happy again.

6. If you write about how alone you feel, you may heal faster

Don’t suppress your feelings. It’s not fair – and it’s devastating – that you have to cope with the shadowy side of being human.

But you will make it worse if keep your emotions bottled up. Don’t swallow your feelings of being unwanted. Don’t hide the truth. Be honest with someone you trust when you feel like no one cares. And, LISTEN to the response you get. I bet you’ll hear people say they know how you feel, they feel the same way…and they love you.

But, don’t expect people to fill the hole in your heart and soul. Only God (or whatever you call your Higher Power) can do that. He created you, and He knows what you need. Nothing and no one else can care about you the way God does. Not relationships, parents, partners, food, sex, shopping, drugs, Facebook, or even Blossom newsletters can replace what only God can give you.

7. You can gain strength from an ancient source of wisdom

On 10 Ways to Figure Out What to Do With Your Life, I shared in the comments section that when I feel unwanted and like no one cares about me, I turn to Ecclesiastes in the Bible. There’s something comforting in the wise writer’s words, even though they’re full of pain and loneliness! Maybe that’s why it helps me. The writer – King Solomon – shares how meaningless life is, how lonely, sad, and alone he feels. He says nothing makes him happy, not money or wine or even wisdom. He ends by saying that the only solution is to fear God and obey His commandments.

Why that makes me feel better, I don’t know…I guess it’s because it helps me see that we’re all suffering, we all go through bouts of loneliness and meaninglessness…even people who lived more than 2,000 years felt the lostness and unhappiness we feel. It’s just part of being alive.

What to Do Next

Feeling Unwanted No One CaresRead The Happiness of Pursuit: Finding the Quest That Will Bring Purpose to Your Life by Chris Guillebeau.

Instead of dwelling on feeling unwanted and like no one cares about you, create a reason for living! Find your purpose in life. If you have no idea what it is, then you need to get off your sweet little behind and explore the world around you.

If you’re older than 100, read How to Cope With Being Alone When You’re Old. Really elderly people have different things on their mind than finding their purpose in life…or do they?

Open up about how unwanted and alone you feel. Write a poem, draw a picture, create a collage, paint a wall. Share your thoughts. See what happens.

While I can’t offer advice, I do read every comment. I encourage you to respond to other readers’ comments if you feel led, and to share your experience. Writing often brings clarity and insight, and can help you cope with your feelings.

‘Be strong; show what you’re made of! Do what God tells you. Walk in the paths He shows you: Follow the life-map absolutely, keep an eye out for the signposts, His course for life set out in the revelation to Moses; then you’ll get on well in whatever you do and wherever you go’ (1 Kings 2:2–3, MSG).




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xo


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47 thoughts on “7 Things to Remember When You Feel Like No One Cares

  • Leslie

    These tips are not helpful and don’t truly reflect how someone alone feels. I wish someone who has been in this position would give tips

  • Riken

    If I can just say something:
    Everyone here has listed their problems, which may very well be horrible. But the thing is we all have our own problems and sometimes getting so caught up in feeling sorry for ourselves for these problems is the reason that we close ourselves off from the world. Maybe we should try giving the world a chance by taking it on with open hearts and open arms. Maybe just give it one more shot and see where it takes us. Who knows maybe we’ll find the companionship we all long for. But if not, remember, we always have ourselves to give company. And trust me, no one can be your friend better than yourself.

  • Derek

    I know no one cares for me! My Wife has filed for divorce after 15 years & she is one year out of Chemo fir breast cancer where I took care of her for months!
    Two days after she told me she wanted a divorce, she made a false allegations to the Police. I am 49 y.o., I have 2 speeding tickets in my life. I was arrested without question from just her verbal statement.
    Since then, I have lost my job of 22 years at a local Hospital where I’ve worked as a RN. Literally all of my friends at work took her word as well, & turned their backs to me! Because of her false allegations, & the arrest. I am having trouble finding gainful employment as a RN. I am paying everything with CC’s, a divorce Atty. & a Criminal Atty. I also am having to pay Child support, & for half of our home payment that I cannot even go to! I have not seen my Son since late February of ’17. I cannot see, text or talk to him! My ENTIRE LIFE has gone beyond devastated! The only Family I had were my Wife and Son! Believe me when I say, suicide would be preferable to my existence!

    • Eleonor

      Derek,

      but You’re STILL LIVING! So, I suppose that is happening for a reason. And usually only for a GOOD reason. I suppose You just have to be as patient as You are and wait for it to find out. God never sends us such challenges that we could not handle. You’ ll see. Don’t give just yet. You’ll see.

      Stay strong and peace to You.

      • Eleonor

        And all in all, everybody,
        i do believe, that even all these comments are a already a sign, that You are not alone and that You DO EXIST and You’re not an empty spot. I suppose that You all do believe that You are worth more than this…than these daily feelings that You’re experiencing all the time. I pray that we will all eventually REALISE that the happiness is INSIDE us, because we are all happy AS MUCH AS WE ALLOW OURSELVES. We just need to step the first steps to make our daily lives change, to find new opportunities, new better places for our lives. I still believe the banal truth, that there is always a purpose for every individual. And that we only need to start finally searching for it, by acting.

        With true love,
        best wishes.

      • Derek

        Thank you Elonor! I wouldn’t really call what I am doing as living. I am just barely existing! Every day I hope & pray for some good to happen, but every day it just gets a little worse. I will be faced with a big crossroad & decision very soon! What will I do when my Credit cards run out? Will I be homeless and no employment??
        Stupid me! I keep praying my Wife will change her mind, & stop all of this nonsense! It’s a foolish thought, I know!

    • Eleonor

      Derek,

      I’m sorry for admitting it, but yes – it is quite a foolish thought to expect that Your wife will change her mind. She started all this, and perhaps there was a reason for her to do this (I don’t mean anything that is related to You personally, maybe she has her own plan and needed a pretext or something (I’m just innocently guessing, I can’t judge anyone especially without knowing the truth, but it’s not the matter now). I think, that right now the best solution might be for You not to expect something from her for things to change, but perhaps the only thing that is left for You right now is to do |Your best and struggle to make at least minor changes in Your recent daily life. Therefore, You might even prove to Yourself that YOU are still capable to manage and pull it through without being depended on someone else.
      Stay strong and try to find as much positive reasons for You to fight as possible. WE ALL HAVE A PURPOSE in our life periods. Perhaps, this is one of them for You.

      Best wishes

      • Derek

        Eleonor, I thank you for your blatant honesty. It is very difficult for me to continue forward, knowing that the only Family I have (Wife & Son) are not in my everyday life. I try to live with Biblical principles in my heart, with that I know I cannot remarry, nor can I ever be with another woman. I am trying to trust the Lord that whatever he is doing, is best for my Wife. My Son, and myself. Their happiness, with or without me is more important than my own!

      • Eleonor

        I understand that, Derek. I truly understand that You are more considered of your family’s wealth-being than your own and this is normal and commendable. You are a good man for having these unselfish feelings. I do encourage and support Your choice of living with Biblical principles, it is important that it helps You to go on and not to loose faith and hope. And You know what, maybe this could be even called as one of Your purposes of life. To keep this faith vital and share it (at least in Your thoughts) with the ones You care about.
        Just stay strong.
        God always treats us for believing in his fairness, especially no matter what happens.

  • Victoria

    I feel like no one care, ever. Like I’m not good enough or worth it. Am I crazy Am I weird am I not attractive enough. I’m so tired of feeling this way…almost all my life already. What do I need to change I’ve tried already but I keep feeling worse and getting older. I’m scared to keep on living life, so alone and unwanted or loved. Please God help me Help us all.

  • Jackie

    I am so unhappy! I’m 47 married with 3 kids 19, 17, 16 but yet I feel so alone. I dedicated so much of my life to my family until I’ve lost me. My mom passed away in 03 but yet it feels like yesterday none of my siblings talk to me and I’m the youngest of 5. My dad remarried and is attending to his new life. My husband is not very helpful whenever I mention anything about how I feel he shrugs it off by saying “i just want everything to be about me”. This is a man who go above and beyond for everyone and everything except his family at home. We had a bad argument today and it was much of the same old, same old. He don’t give a darn about me I just make him look good at the right time. My kids are all grown up and don’t need or pay any attention to me. It seems the only thing anyone wants me to do is give, give, give. But I don’t have nothing left and no one realizes it. I’m not in a good place and haven’t been in a very, very long time.

    • Eleonor

      Hello, Jackie. I read Your message and I am sorry for the situation that Your experiencing. You do seem like a VERY strong woman, I can imagine how hard it is to care for everyone else and “not being able to see the daylight” with all these troubles, chores, worries and etc. I can understand how You’re longing for at least some time for Yourself. Away from everybody that ignores Your feelings. But, I don’t mean to judge and I’m sorry if I’ll sound to straightforward, I really don’t mean to offend in any way. I suppose that You have already answered Yourself what person is making You feel the most empty and who’s appreciation You’re lacking the most. I think You have to start making some changes in the relationship that is making You feel more empty. Relationships are meant to be fulfilling and spiritually educating. But You are just feeling plain and grey inside. This is not pleasant nor healthy in any way. Secondly, maybe You should just consider taking a vacation perhaps only by Yourself, or with the children if it makes you feel all right. But I am advising You to try and find an opportunity to be just with Yourself at least for a short time, just to hear Your own thoughts and feel Your true emotions. And try to think about possible solutions for the concerns that are dragging You down at the moment. You cannot allow to loose Your own self just for others, even for Your children, because You are still going to be the guide of their lives, and You will want to that guide because You will want them to be fully happy and proud of themselves and, not to loose themselves as well, no matter what.
      Do not loose faith, sooner or later everything ALWAYS turns out the way that is best for us.

  • Luisa

    This really helped me a lot. I started my own business and I am feeling unsupported by the team. I am always the one reaching out. I must learn some skills and no one seems to want too teach them too me. They are busy,

  • Anna

    Who am I
    This is not the question,
    I’m not someone to leave you guessing.
    I am but a breath away from the edge of A blade, a bullet, a rope , or a pill as a last hope.
    I’ve been captured, taken off ground, folded, molded into the shape I am now.
    But Who am I?
    They ask,
    Who am I, is the very task.
    I speak out in tongues, so clear as the message hung above. My feet dangle as the wind blows through the window.
    But Who am I?
    The water drips quietly as my mind slips away in agony.
    I’m finally at peace.
    But Who am I ?
    I meet in our special place, no thoughts are racing, left in your grace, I feel a rush of contentment, as You reach the answer.

    I am you.
    I am loneliness.
    I am sadness.
    I am suicide.

    (Written by AD, not suicidel. Just expressing poetic feelings as suggested) may we all heal from our struggles and find peace in this world.

  • Riya

    Hi Iam 21 years my dad passed away wen i was 17 and i live with my mom and elder sister
    My mom is neither interested in me or my sister nor loves us
    She leaves us alone n stays with her sisters
    I cry al the tym i feel so helpless iwas so close to my dad now i have no1 in this world i feel
    My sister has accepted her fate tells me this is how life z
    Ican feel loneliness increasing
    Even today we both r alone
    There z a wine shop beside my house stil idono how can my mom do this to us
    Atlest for our security also she does not care
    Im not understanding what to do

  • Mohanad

    Wow, all this stuff make’s my own problems seem like nothing, and so I should have no reason to feel this way, but it happens anyway. I have a really nice family and good friends (never had a girlfriend – I’m always shy or awkward when talking to them). However, my friends are only semi-close. I have no close friends, I rarely get a chance to visit my current friends, and I never had a sleepover in my life.This isn’t what I have a problem with, though. Every SINGLE TIME I need help from any of them, every single one of them bails out on me, with the most bs of excuses. Even my family does that! When I try to talk to them about my problems, they listen, but they just think I’m whining up a storm, and they don’t try to solve it (they don’t say that to my face, though). I’m usually an optimistic person that likes to help others, but when this happens, I get a sense of emptiness combined with increasing hatred to the way society has become, and so I look up things like “why did the world become like this” or “what to do when no one cares about your problems”, hoping to find some magical solution, and so I ended up here.

    Sorry if this doesn’t fit in the category of “real problems”, but I really hate this. Also, my religion (islam) makes me feel better, but I’m lazy and I procrastinate the point where I could go to hell because of not praying when I should. Procrastination and laziness are another topic, though, so you don’t need to help me with that.

  • sharon

    Man I can relate to these stories..Well I never had friends ,,I spent a lot of times with my parents . I have 4 grown children now my daughter doesbt like me so i have no relatiinship with her she turn out bad ,she cause so much trouble growing up ,i have 3 sons and the 2 oldest they call and the youngest i see .but the problem is i have no one but my husband and he doesn’t understand family ..my sister isnt right she is a pathological liar and she is terrible my parents move to California to be closer to my oldest brother and he has no time for them there in there 80 i miss my mom …and dad vut they left here .i found out 6 years ago i had colon cancer ..I have since been in remissiin after chemo but i have no one ..I cry so hard for friends and family but it hurts ,i love ppl and i try to be to everyone ..I feel depressed..I have a therapist..Im scared for my life ..Im so lonely ..My husband has depression and health problems ..Im scared because i feel i will die alone without family he is all i got ..Why dont ppl like me or care i dont bother no one at all ..I wish my daughter care so we can do gurl things but she dont ..Im by myself every day ..I pray that everyone on this forum find strength and love ..God plz rain down on us ..we need you i need u

    • Mohanad

      I’m just going to say this simply. You are not useless. In fact, you are very useful. You may have failed in some or many things before, but I assure you, good things will come. I have reached the point of hating life before, but I always held on to the hope that things will improve. And it has! It’s not a matter of luck, either. I remember somewhere in the quran, I read that with anything bad, something good comes after it (even if you don’t believe in what the quran says, it’s still true). Hang in there, and never, EVER lose hope!

  • sam

    Hello,Hi 🙂 Here,s my story..Advice please..I just had my second child 3 months ago and my first daughter just turned 18, I am the independent woman,not really my style to ask for money and help from anyone, but I feel alone and like nobody cares. i was unfairly dismissed at 5 and half months pregnant..still have no clue why I was informed to…EXPLORE other options in the area…I’m so heart broken about the situation and feel like I should get out now..but he won’t leave..I feel so alone as I don’t have anyone to talk to. My boyfriend’s favourite word is…I can’t do it! (and Trust me..wont even try, looking at a situation both ways…it’s so frustrating Advice…please..
    From: Highly Steel rested out mother

  • Laurie Post author

    I’m glad you’re here, and that you shared your feelings with me. I hear you, I hear how alone and unwanted you feel. I hear loneliness and sadness in your voice, despair and anxiety.

    I wish I had miraculous words that could make you feel less alone! But all I can do is tell you how I cope when I feel unwanted and like no one cares about me….I turn to the most lonely book in Scripture! I read about how life is meaningless, we all die alone, and everything we worked so hard for is lost. Life is short, like a vapor vanishing in a wisp of wind.

    For some reason, reading about the loneliness and meaninglessness of life in the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible is what helps me feel not so alone!

    Probably because that book shows me that even thousands of years ago, the richest and wisest Teacher felt alone and lonely. They struggled to find the meaning of live, to feel wanted and like somebody cared about them…but they found nothing. No one.

    The truth is that you are not alone. You may feel alone and unwanted, but you’re never alone if you open your heart to the healing divine love of God. He is always there, waiting for you to open your heart and spirit, and humbly accept His grace and love. The comfort, strength, and energy that God offers is the only way to find hope and love in life.

    God works through people. We were created to be friends and companions, to journey through life together. If you feel unwanted and like no one cares, it’s because you haven’t found the right people to be with.

    Who have you connected with in the past? Is there any way you can reach out to them today?

    What makes you feel better when you feel low, down, and depressed?

  • minsha edwards

    hello, i am feeling lonely and hated unwanted right now and every other day, when i go to partys im the introvert that cant muster up the right thing to say to anybody and that leaves a stain on my reputation like im retarded i dont know how to talk to people but thats not the truth i use to be outgoing and feel like everything was going my way until a breakup and now i cant trust anyone and closed myself off from the world and cant seem to reenter the normal stratosphere of reality like im stuck in limbo i know im not this person but my uncontrollable anxeity keeps me from saying the things i want to doing the things i want to being the person i am that everybody loves but since ive closed myself off from a toxic realationship that made me feel worthless i cant seem to ever get back to the optimistic veiws i thought i once had about humanity and soceity and all its done is made me completly lonely and i dont even try anymore ive given up on life and i know this isnt who i am but im not sure who i am anymore im not sure if ill get a response or anything its just feeling like one of those days when evrybody hates me and making friends or future friends feels impossible im not sure if theres much advice you could give ….. by the way im a 20 year old male.

    • Terry Sabedra

      It just takes time to heal. You’re so young ,
      I wish I was your age again. 57 years old is not fun. I gain the experience and wisdom but I don’t have the youth to enjoy life anymore and people look at you differently specially a woman. 40 hours of a hard-working job wears me out and I just go home and recoup with my animals; they’re very good friends and they need us. My dogs and cat are good therapy I think they’ve made my life better more than friends in human form do anyway. I realize how they just love you unconditionally and always happy to see you as long as we treat them good and take good care of them they’re totally content. This gets my mind off of myself. Remember these wise words a preacher once told me … this too shall pass.

  • Koie

    Hi, I’m so excited that I have come across this article on what to do when it seems like nobody cares about you. I have struggled with anxiety and depression most of my life. I am a 46 year old female, with two beautiful children. I am divorced. My oldest daughter is out on her own and my youngest is a junior in high school. I only have my daughter part time. I am looking forward to responding to some of the emails, and my heart goes out to each and every one of you that feel the way I do. I am working full time during the day. Will return to website in the evening.

  • Ayushi

    Hello people, my name is Ayushi. I am 18 yrs old & I am an Indian. I feel like my friends & my family dont actually need me and I do feel like no one cares. I am the one in my class who mostly gets humiliated by two guys in my class. And both them have personal reasons to hate me. But this makes me feel that am I really worthless.A really good friend of mine dont have time to talk to me, she might have got bored of me or she enjoys the guys’ attention much more than my attention. I dont know but this actually makes me feel sad. And here at my home my parents think that I might not get good grades this year (in a competitive exam). They might do not believe in me. My sister has her own problems with her boyfriend so she dont have time to listen to my problems. One of my cousin is giving the same competitive exam & he is just too good at studies & I know he is gonna score well. My mother does not allows me to wear clothes my choice. My father is actually a duel faced person, i’ve heard him complaining about me at my back but then suddenly his behaviour changes as I entered the room. And he started behaving like he was something very admirable about me. My friends are getting better grades than mine. I am inclined towards a boy but cant trust him because last time I trust a guy I found him betting on me for few bucks. I know this is not a big problem, there are people who are facing much more bigger problems than this but this is making me sad. It makes me feel that I have no one around me. I am all alone. If there is anything then that’s fake, completely fake. And please tell me how to shut those mocking guys.

  • VanillaCupcakes

    I’m a 15 yrs old mixed Asian girl. I’m here crying in my dark bedroom because I feel like nobody cares about me. I’m so confused about some of my friends. They look happy and I don’t think they are like me, who cries on her bed in her dark bedroom. I want to be happy forever.. How do I avoid times like this? (depression) I’m lost here. I don’t know how to achieve my big dreams. My parents don’t actually care really even if you think Asian parents want their kids to get As. They also won’t help me and won’t listen to my problems. I don’t think my parents live like this when they were younger like me.

    I’m so curious. Is there any parents crying like this in his/her teen days? Or is just the 21st century babies problems/habit?? I’m really stressed out because why is everyone successful on their work and on internet? I hate sacrificing my happiness. Actually I have a lot more to say about feeling like no one cares but lets just stop here. Hope you understand.

    Love from me.

    • robert brito

      Dear friend, you are only 15, and while it may seem like things aren’t going your way, it takes time, no one arrives in this world complete, we have to learn about what makes us happy and foster that. The main thing is love yourself and forgive yourself. When a kid learns to walk or ride a bike or even learn to speak, they fall a bunch of times, but it is by making mistakes that we learn, the point is to not give up. If we gave up we would have never learned to walk, ride a bike or even speak! give yourself patience, you are growing and developing, give yourself room for trial and error, crying and sadness, while uncomfortable is part of maturing and at 15 you are still developing, don’t judge your self worth and value by what others are doing or having, you matter most, think about the accomplishments you have made no matter how simple or times that brought you joy, and create joy for yourself, as for parents, they are imperfect for everyone, most don’t have training of any kind on how to be a parent, parents should allow you to be learning and testing out life and know that you are loved and safe to be able to practice life. If your parents aren’t supportive then you must support your own efforts, and be around supportive people, don’t care what others think, what matters most is how you feel and providing good experiences for yourself. You are young and still getting to know yourself, there is hope, there are good things worth living and discovering and for looking forward to. Don’t expect everything to fall in being right away, it all comes in time.

  • Larena

    I’ve been with this Danny for15 yrs, we bought a marriage license but never used it. Our relationship was good why mess it up with a piece of paper. We were happy. Six months ago he was diagnosed with lung cancer, he died the end of December, my father also diagnosed with lung cancer a year before died two weeks after Danny.My world has crumbled. Danny was paid by an estate that was to be givin to his children when he passed. I am so alone now. When I met Danny I had my own yard service, was recently divorced as was he. He and I got to know each other very well. I stopped working and we spent 100% of our time together, he wanted it that way. He was paid by the estate a monthly income, so more or less he was considered retired at the age of 45, I was 38. He had 4 girls living at home my boys had already went off to college. We lost one daughter 4 yrs ago in a school bus accident. The other girls have married and we’ve got 12 grandchildren. The youngest is 19, when she reaches the age of 25 they (3) will split the estate that is worth almost 2 million dollars. When Danny passed so was I you could say. I don’t know what to do, where to go, my dads not even here to help me anymore, I have no income, I can’t stop crying, I’m lost. The estate paid for the funeral and head stone so I was told.and I was told to maybe get a job. Danny and I were in the car going to have a Ct scan done and he started hemmoraging and bleed to death in my car. I was driving 140 mile an hr and he died before I got him to the ER. I miss him so much.

  • Laurie Post author

    Thank you for sharing your experience – it takes a lot of courage to talk about how it feels when it seems like nobody cares about you! It’s truly humbling to be authentic and real, and I admire your ability to show your true self.

    My New Year’s Eve plans got canceled last night, too. We had too much snow and ice, which made the roads treacherous. I love God and believe He loves me…but sometimes it’s nice to have a person to actually talk to who is here in person!

    What are other ways you connect with people? I like to spend a lot of time alone, because I’m introverted. Being around people drains me, so I spend most of my time by myself writing, walking my dogs, or playing my flute. Still, I like to know somebody out there cares about and loves me 🙂

    Was there ever a time in your life that you felt truly cared for, and not so alone?

  • Carolyn

    Thank you for writing this article. i am alone in life. i am not really the cute or likable type. i never have been. I was going to a church gathering to spend with others.They canciled it because someone important had other plans. Very sad. Wrll it was never for me anyway. i just wanted to go.

  • ALICIA

    Thank you for this post. I was a pastor’s wife for 25 yrs. I found out he was having an affair. I tried for a year to make it work. One night we got into an argument. I just went to change into my pjs when I came back into the living room to get my phone he was on the phone with 911. I was siting on the couch texting my pastor as he told them I had a knife and was going to kill him.when the police came I honestly didnt think it would come to anything. When they sepeested ua I just told them like I just wrote. Well,he must have tols them some story. I was arrested and put in maximum securty. I had never had a traffic ticket. Of all the people I had poured my life into I didnt have one visitor in 8 months. The letters I did get even from fellow miniaters were hate one hoping I burned in hell for what I did. It was like in one hour a bomb went off and I lost my home,marrage,church we started and I loved,friendships,my dogs amd everything. When it was time for court I thought it was just him and I in the house I could push for a trial. My charge was felony assult. My lawyer said if I did they would push for attempted murder.I confused as nothing happened by we argued because I caught him on the phone with her and i left the room to go to bed. I asked who he had as witnesses amd he began liating my church people. I thought there was no way I was going to drag my church people into xourt andcause them chaos. So I had to plead guilty to felony assult wjich destroyed my career as a behavioral psycholgist working with troubled kids. So I spent 7 mo. I aolitary. I rwalized to make it ok to marry her,which he did,I had to be the bad guy so he could still minister. I always taught my youth groups that we are like a tube of toothe paste thhen we are squeezed whats really on the inside comes out. When I was mover to general population I emded up leading 24 womam to a relationship with God. I realized Im still who I am even were I was. When I got out I moved to Flint Mi to work in the innercity with my pastor. Its been four yrs. I has losty liscence for psy. Loat my 0 ordination. Due to the felony I just got a place to live. I have multiple sclerosis a camcer. So here I alone except for m service dog. I was pretty much at my end and was thinking of maling an exit.

    • Carolla

      DEAR ALICIA,

      Just want to ask if you are okay. I know you have been through a lot. Was thinking about you and wanted to reach out and let you know that. Life is not always easy or kind, but in the end you know who you are even if others do not acknowledge it . You can look in the mirror and know you do the right thing. Hold on! Find your self a reason. In the end you can make a difference to someone else. When I feel like this, I have a good cry, give myself a big hug and go and help someone else. Someone else is alway worse off than i am . Thank God! Hugs and much love Carolla

    • Natasja

      I can relate so much to you. I was an accountant and recently found out that i was pregnant when i told the father he left me and denied the baby. He was angry that I wont have and abortion he had me arrested on false algation pretty much the same situation as you. I was also place on max security. I was given the option of waiting 9 months for trial or pleading guilty to charges in order to get out of jail. I understand hlw you feel

  • Laurie Post author

    Dear Denise,

    It’s New Year’s Eve…are you spending it alone? I just wanted you to know that I’m thinking about you, praying for you, and wishing you all good things in 2017. Peace, love, joy, safety, and faith that it’s never too late for your life to unfold in beautiful and healthy ways…

    May you overcome those feelings of being unwanted, and may you learn that even when it feels like no one cares…someone out there is thinking about you.

    Take care of yourself.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  • Denise

    Thank you for this site. So sad this holiday season. My father was terrible abuser. My mother hid. Only sib is brother who also participated in some. I grew up in Arizona and mother moved brother and me to Michigan after high school. Left friends. I became a nurse, later a psychologist. I didn’t remember what happened until a few years ago, when my mother died. I spent my life taking care of others and coming home so exhausted I had no ability to have a life. I never felt safe in a relationship so now 65 and no children or family. Relatives far away and not close. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life so alone. I help many others, but I have little left for me. On disability now, so financially bad situation.

  • Laurie Post author

    Dear SadAndLonely,

    Thank you for being here – I’m glad to hear from you! You are important to me — and I suspect you are more important than you know to your family. It sounds like they’re taking you for granted, that they just assume you’ll continue to do all those good things for them because that’s what you’ve always done.

    Sometimes we get trapped by our own expectations. I’ve learned in my own life that when I expect people to respond or act in a certain way, then I am often disappointed. But when I let go of my expectations and detach from the outcome…I don’t really care how people respond!

    When you find yourself feeling unwanted and like nobody cares, maybe you could try letting go of your expectations. Don’t expect your husband to do the things you always do…because you always do them. Don’t expect your mom to remember your birthday….because she’s not that type of mother.

    Letting go of your expectations is about grieving what you wish you had. You need to grieve the fact that your mom isn’t who you want her to be, and neither is your husband. They can’t give you what you need — or what you deserve.

    I’m sorry that your family doesn’t love you the way you yearn to be loved. You deserve more, and better! But this is who you have in your life.

    What changes can you make in your life, to bring more joy, light, life, and peace? You can’t change your husband or mom, but you can start identifying where your power lies and how to create happiness for yourself.

    What do you think?

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  • Sadandlonely

    I am the type of person that tries so hard for everyone . I buy presents on birthday’s . Take care of everyone. My husband doesn’t even pay for any bills. It’s ALL me. I throw my mom surprise birthday partys . My mom and I work together , I pick up her shifts when she needs me to. But no one except my 10 year old daughter even told me happy birthday. My own mother didn’t even so much as text me. She lives right down the road and her birthday is a week before mine and I made hers a huge to do. My husband always tells me I’m being taken advantage of and I’m too nice but honestly I think he does the same thing to me , if not worse. To top it off I know he didn’t forget because we got married on my birthday 10 yrs ago So it’s our anniversary too and he wanted his present (a gun) . I gave it too him. He did not get me anything. The next day my daughter asked him what did you get mommy for your anniversary/ birthday ? He said he was taking us to the circus . Something that I’ve been planning to do with my daughter . He means he was gonna grace us with his presence. Well he did go but the whole time he was saying , ” I hate this” ” I’m just here for you.” He actually stayed seated for about 4 or 5 minutes then left and said he was going to the bathroom. He never came back !! I kept texting him “where are you ? ” Finally a response that he ran into an old girlfriend and her kids. After an intermission he showed up and said let’s go , ” I can’t take this anymore. ” Wow it was such an awesome present sitting alone with my daughter downtown. I can’t take this anymore. I called my mom 5 times to talk. No response. I guess she was worried about it still being to close to my birthday and she may feel guilty. I’m ALONE . 🙁
    Now I’m leaving to go to work and take care of the mentally handicapped. At least I don’t feel like a nobody when I’m with them. Just a rant from a sad woman. Sorry . 🙁

  • Ciera

    Thank you for posting this because I feel so alone. I wish I still my Mum was still alive because she was all I had. There’s alot to this story but I feel completely isolated by relatives and I don’t why. I think I might book myself away for a Christmas break. I can’t afford it but I’ll try and look at prices now so I can save money for it.

    • Isa

      Ciera, I’m sending you a hug because I know how it feels!!!!!
      I also can’t really afford it, but I’m giving myself this xmas gift of a little trip.
      But I have changed my dates now. I’m going one week before xmas.
      I would feel so awfully miserable sitting alone in a hotel room on a xmas day.
      I’d rather be alone at home. Take heart. There must be someone out there for you and youll meet them. Love yourself.

  • Laurie Post author

    Thank you, Isa – it’s great to hear from you! I’m glad this post was comforting, and that you are beginning to see things more clearly.

    Congratulations on your Christmas break – that sounds wonderful. I love being alone; I recently spent 6 days alone in Hollywood, CA. Two of the days were in a Communicators’ workshop, but the other 4 days were just me, myself and I wandering around the city.

    Stay connected with God. He knows what you need, and He will give you everything your heart desires! Trust him, for He is working everything together for your good. He loves you deeply, and He wants you to be filled with peace, love, joy, and freedom.

    Nobody can love you the way God does – especially when you feel like nobody cares. Just keep dipping into His river of love 🙂

    Let me know how your Christmas break goes!

    • Isa

      Thanks so much for your heartfelt reply Laurie. Means a lot. It’s great that you enjoyed 6 lovely days in Hollywood 🙂 My Christmas break is in Bruges, Belgium. It was very spontaneous decision, but it filled my Heart with joy! I always wanted to go, so really I’m making my little Dream come true.

      Yes, God is my only consolation. I have not other family….but Him. He is my real Father.
      He’s there for me. He protects me and guides me.
      I need to spend more time with Him and hear His voice.

      Lots of Love xxx

  • Isa

    Just want to add that today did something that filled my heart with joy 🙂 I booked a two day Christmas break. At least now I have something to look forward to! It will be just me, myself and I, but I think it will be wonderful.

  • Isa

    Dear Laurie,

    You don’t even know how much comfort I found in your post…It was like receiving a hug from a friend.
    I’m trying to stay strong. I have no one. And I haven’t met him yet. My only consolation is my Faith and knowing that God watches over me.

    But I’m finding gifts in my situation…. It makes me strong and I begin to see everything clearly, seeing the Truth is a blessing. I know that God is holding my hand and helping me to find a way out of this….
    I have to accept my fate for now and keep my Faith.

    xxxx