7 Things to Remember When You Feel Like No One Cares

Are you feeling lost and unwanted, like no one cares about you? Hang on – I know how you feel! The most important thing to remember when you feel all alone in this world is that it’s a natural – and even healthy – part of being human.

Below are seven things to remember when you feel like no one cares about you. We were created with a longing in our hearts – a longing for deep connection, true meaning, and sincere love in our lives. The feeling that something is missing and nobody cares is a simply part of our human condition. Everyone feels this way at some point in their lives. Some of us feel like this most of the time – and this is partly what depression feels like and why it’s so common.





Your “lost and alone” feelings are actually a good thing, believe it or not! It means you’re in touch with your authentic self. You’re alive and real, self-aware and insightful. You’re not stuffing your feelings down or hiding behind walls. You’re actually allowing yourself to be real. It hurts, but being real is the best way to live.

I can’t change how you feel, but I can give you seven things to remember when you feel deeply lonely and alone.

No One Cares About You? 7 Things to Remember

“My husband passed away five months ago and we have three kids,” says Christie on How to Adjust to Being Alone. “One is in second year of college and the two are in junior high school. It’s different talking to my kids rather than my husband. He had a lot of things to share with me, he was a very informative person and knew alot about business, general events, politics and new technology. Now I feel very lonely and sad. We used to talk before bed, share laughter and discussion.”

She adds that she doesn’t know how to move on without thinking about him all the time. “I am still crying but I’m hoping I will be back to normal life again,” she says.

1. You can create a “new normal” in your life

If you’re feeling unwanted and lonely because you lost someone you love, then you need to create a new “normal life” for yourself. If you’re depressed because of a breakup, then you need to rebuild a new life that is more fulfilling and interesting than the one you left behind. If you’re devastated because you were rejected and you really do believe no one cares about you, then you need to take a deep breath and remind yourself of what is true, good, and pure.

This is work only you can do. What was your old life like? It’s time to let it go. What will the new normal in your life be? You can do this – you can recreate your life. And it may be even brighter and more beautiful than you can imagine.

2. You’d be surprised at how loved you are

Last night I was at a friend’s for dinner, and I told her that I want to move to a new city. Vancouver is beautiful, but it’s crowded and expensive and busy. I want to live more simply and quietly.

7 Things to Remember When You Feel Like No One Cares

7 Things to Remember When You Feel Like No One Cares

My friend told me that I don’t know how much I’ll be missed by my friends and community here. I wave her away, saying that I actually haven’t connected with many people at all. She disagreed. She said I really don’t have a clue about how much I matter.

What if it’s the same for you? Maybe you feel unwanted and like no one cares about you…but is it possible that there is one person who really does love you? Yes. It is possible. In fact, it’s probably true. Turn your thoughts and attention towards that person when you’re feeling like no one cares. Soak up her love, and remind yourself that you aren’t alone.

3. You’re fully alive when you’re feeling alone

The reason you’re struggling with feeling unwanted is because you’re actually tuning in to how you really think and feel. This is painful – but it is the best way to live!

When you tell yourself “no one cares about me”, you’re being brave and strong enough to face your true feelings. Do you know how rare this is? Most of us distract ourselves from feeling unwanted and alone by surfing the internet, spending money, making money, doing drugs, seeking adrenalin rushes. Some of us don’t notice our feelings of being lonely because we’re caught up in our families, parenting, jobs, responsibilities, and relationships. But eventually the distraction is taken away, such as with a breakup or death of a loved one, which I talk about in Words of Comfort When Your Heart is Broken.

4. You are in touch with your true, deepest, most real self

I love that you’re here! You searched the internet because you feel like no one cares. You clicked the title “7 Things to Remember When You Feel Like No One Cares” because you know how you feel.





Something is calling you. Do you not perceive it? You are feeling unwanted and you are acting on those feelings because you have a purpose on this earth. You were put here for a reason, and these feelings that no one cares will help you find your purpose. This is happening for a reason. You found “She Blossoms” for a reason. This isn’t just about feeling unwanted and like no one cares about you…this is part of a deeper, more important calling on your life.

Your job is to keep listening for that still small voice. To do that, you need to take time alone. “The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.” – Anne Frank.

5. You will get through this and be happy again!

It’s lonely and sad to feel like no one cares about you. It hurts. Even though I’m an optimist and I always look on the bright side without even trying, I know what it feels like to be alone in this world. It’s a gray, empty, sad feeling. I’m almost always happy, but even I have to admit that it’s terrible to feel unwanted, lost, and alone. I know how it feels: I spent my childhood moving in and out of foster homes. My mom is schizophrenic, my sister doesn’t want to have anything to do with me, and my dad lives in Israel. I didn’t even meet him until I was 27 years old.

Even Happy Positive Cheerful Energetic Me knows that these feelings are heavy, gray, and suffocating. One of the best ways to cope when you feel like no one cares is to remember that these feelings will pass. You will get through this, and you will feel happy again.

6. If you write about how alone you feel, you may heal faster

Don’t suppress your feelings. It’s not fair – and it’s devastating – that you have to cope with the shadowy side of being human.

But you will make it worse if keep your emotions bottled up. Don’t swallow your feelings of being unwanted. Don’t hide the truth. Be honest with someone you trust when you feel like no one cares. And, LISTEN to the response you get. I bet you’ll hear people say they know how you feel, they feel the same way…and they love you.

But, don’t expect people to fill the hole in your heart and soul. Only God (or whatever you call your Higher Power) can do that. He created you, and He knows what you need. Nothing and no one else can care about you the way God does. Not relationships, parents, partners, food, sex, shopping, drugs, Facebook, or even Blossom newsletters can replace what only God can give you.

7. You can gain strength from an ancient source of wisdom

On 10 Ways to Figure Out What to Do With Your Life, I shared in the comments section that when I feel unwanted and like no one cares about me, I turn to Ecclesiastes in the Bible. There’s something comforting in the wise writer’s words, even though they’re full of pain and loneliness! Maybe that’s why it helps me. The writer – King Solomon – shares how meaningless life is, how lonely, sad, and alone he feels. He says nothing makes him happy, not money or wine or even wisdom. He ends by saying that the only solution is to fear God and obey His commandments.

Why that makes me feel better, I don’t know…I guess it’s because it helps me see that we’re all suffering, we all go through bouts of loneliness and meaninglessness…even people who lived more than 2,000 years felt the lostness and unhappiness we feel. It’s just part of being alive.

What to Do Next

Feeling Unwanted No One CaresRead The Happiness of Pursuit: Finding the Quest That Will Bring Purpose to Your Life by Chris Guillebeau.

Instead of dwelling on feeling unwanted and like no one cares about you, create a reason for living! Find your purpose in life. If you have no idea what it is, then you need to get off your sweet little behind and explore the world around you.

If you’re older than 100, read How to Cope With Being Alone When You’re Old. Really elderly people have different things on their mind than finding their purpose in life…or do they?

Open up about how unwanted and alone you feel. Write a poem, draw a picture, create a collage, paint a wall. Share your thoughts. See what happens.

While I can’t offer advice, I do read every comment. I encourage you to respond to other readers’ comments if you feel led, and to share your experience. Writing often brings clarity and insight, and can help you cope with your feelings.

‘Be strong; show what you’re made of! Do what God tells you. Walk in the paths He shows you: Follow the life-map absolutely, keep an eye out for the signposts, His course for life set out in the revelation to Moses; then you’ll get on well in whatever you do and wherever you go’ (1 Kings 2:2–3, MSG).

xo


24 Responses

  1. Laurie says:

    I’m glad you’re here, and that you shared your feelings with me. I hear you, I hear how alone and unwanted you feel. I hear loneliness and sadness in your voice, despair and anxiety.

    I wish I had miraculous words that could make you feel less alone! But all I can do is tell you how I cope when I feel unwanted and like no one cares about me….I turn to the most lonely book in Scripture! I read about how life is meaningless, we all die alone, and everything we worked so hard for is lost. Life is short, like a vapor vanishing in a wisp of wind.

    For some reason, reading about the loneliness and meaninglessness of life in the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible is what helps me feel not so alone!

    Probably because that book shows me that even thousands of years ago, the richest and wisest Teacher felt alone and lonely. They struggled to find the meaning of live, to feel wanted and like somebody cared about them…but they found nothing. No one.

    The truth is that you are not alone. You may feel alone and unwanted, but you’re never alone if you open your heart to the healing divine love of God. He is always there, waiting for you to open your heart and spirit, and humbly accept His grace and love. The comfort, strength, and energy that God offers is the only way to find hope and love in life.

    God works through people. We were created to be friends and companions, to journey through life together. If you feel unwanted and like no one cares, it’s because you haven’t found the right people to be with.

    Who have you connected with in the past? Is there any way you can reach out to them today?

    What makes you feel better when you feel low, down, and depressed?

  2. minsha edwards says:

    hello, i am feeling lonely and hated unwanted right now and every other day, when i go to partys im the introvert that cant muster up the right thing to say to anybody and that leaves a stain on my reputation like im retarded i dont know how to talk to people but thats not the truth i use to be outgoing and feel like everything was going my way until a breakup and now i cant trust anyone and closed myself off from the world and cant seem to reenter the normal stratosphere of reality like im stuck in limbo i know im not this person but my uncontrollable anxeity keeps me from saying the things i want to doing the things i want to being the person i am that everybody loves but since ive closed myself off from a toxic realationship that made me feel worthless i cant seem to ever get back to the optimistic veiws i thought i once had about humanity and soceity and all its done is made me completly lonely and i dont even try anymore ive given up on life and i know this isnt who i am but im not sure who i am anymore im not sure if ill get a response or anything its just feeling like one of those days when evrybody hates me and making friends or future friends feels impossible im not sure if theres much advice you could give ….. by the way im a 20 year old male.

  3. Koie says:

    Hi, I’m so excited that I have come across this article on what to do when it seems like nobody cares about you. I have struggled with anxiety and depression most of my life. I am a 46 year old female, with two beautiful children. I am divorced. My oldest daughter is out on her own and my youngest is a junior in high school. I only have my daughter part time. I am looking forward to responding to some of the emails, and my heart goes out to each and every one of you that feel the way I do. I am working full time during the day. Will return to website in the evening.

  4. Ayushi says:

    Hello people, my name is Ayushi. I am 18 yrs old & I am an Indian. I feel like my friends & my family dont actually need me and I do feel like no one cares. I am the one in my class who mostly gets humiliated by two guys in my class. And both them have personal reasons to hate me. But this makes me feel that am I really worthless.A really good friend of mine dont have time to talk to me, she might have got bored of me or she enjoys the guys’ attention much more than my attention. I dont know but this actually makes me feel sad. And here at my home my parents think that I might not get good grades this year (in a competitive exam). They might do not believe in me. My sister has her own problems with her boyfriend so she dont have time to listen to my problems. One of my cousin is giving the same competitive exam & he is just too good at studies & I know he is gonna score well. My mother does not allows me to wear clothes my choice. My father is actually a duel faced person, i’ve heard him complaining about me at my back but then suddenly his behaviour changes as I entered the room. And he started behaving like he was something very admirable about me. My friends are getting better grades than mine. I am inclined towards a boy but cant trust him because last time I trust a guy I found him betting on me for few bucks. I know this is not a big problem, there are people who are facing much more bigger problems than this but this is making me sad. It makes me feel that I have no one around me. I am all alone. If there is anything then that’s fake, completely fake. And please tell me how to shut those mocking guys.

  5. VanillaCupcakes says:

    I’m a 15 yrs old mixed Asian girl. I’m here crying in my dark bedroom because I feel like nobody cares about me. I’m so confused about some of my friends. They look happy and I don’t think they are like me, who cries on her bed in her dark bedroom. I want to be happy forever.. How do I avoid times like this? (depression) I’m lost here. I don’t know how to achieve my big dreams. My parents don’t actually care really even if you think Asian parents want their kids to get As. They also won’t help me and won’t listen to my problems. I don’t think my parents live like this when they were younger like me.

    I’m so curious. Is there any parents crying like this in his/her teen days? Or is just the 21st century babies problems/habit?? I’m really stressed out because why is everyone successful on their work and on internet? I hate sacrificing my happiness. Actually I have a lot more to say about feeling like no one cares but lets just stop here. Hope you understand.

    Love from me.

    • robert brito says:

      Dear friend, you are only 15, and while it may seem like things aren’t going your way, it takes time, no one arrives in this world complete, we have to learn about what makes us happy and foster that. The main thing is love yourself and forgive yourself. When a kid learns to walk or ride a bike or even learn to speak, they fall a bunch of times, but it is by making mistakes that we learn, the point is to not give up. If we gave up we would have never learned to walk, ride a bike or even speak! give yourself patience, you are growing and developing, give yourself room for trial and error, crying and sadness, while uncomfortable is part of maturing and at 15 you are still developing, don’t judge your self worth and value by what others are doing or having, you matter most, think about the accomplishments you have made no matter how simple or times that brought you joy, and create joy for yourself, as for parents, they are imperfect for everyone, most don’t have training of any kind on how to be a parent, parents should allow you to be learning and testing out life and know that you are loved and safe to be able to practice life. If your parents aren’t supportive then you must support your own efforts, and be around supportive people, don’t care what others think, what matters most is how you feel and providing good experiences for yourself. You are young and still getting to know yourself, there is hope, there are good things worth living and discovering and for looking forward to. Don’t expect everything to fall in being right away, it all comes in time.

  6. Larena says:

    I’ve been with this Danny for15 yrs, we bought a marriage license but never used it. Our relationship was good why mess it up with a piece of paper. We were happy. Six months ago he was diagnosed with lung cancer, he died the end of December, my father also diagnosed with lung cancer a year before died two weeks after Danny.My world has crumbled. Danny was paid by an estate that was to be givin to his children when he passed. I am so alone now. When I met Danny I had my own yard service, was recently divorced as was he. He and I got to know each other very well. I stopped working and we spent 100% of our time together, he wanted it that way. He was paid by the estate a monthly income, so more or less he was considered retired at the age of 45, I was 38. He had 4 girls living at home my boys had already went off to college. We lost one daughter 4 yrs ago in a school bus accident. The other girls have married and we’ve got 12 grandchildren. The youngest is 19, when she reaches the age of 25 they (3) will split the estate that is worth almost 2 million dollars. When Danny passed so was I you could say. I don’t know what to do, where to go, my dads not even here to help me anymore, I have no income, I can’t stop crying, I’m lost. The estate paid for the funeral and head stone so I was told.and I was told to maybe get a job. Danny and I were in the car going to have a Ct scan done and he started hemmoraging and bleed to death in my car. I was driving 140 mile an hr and he died before I got him to the ER. I miss him so much.

  7. Laurie says:

    Thank you for sharing your experience – it takes a lot of courage to talk about how it feels when it seems like nobody cares about you! It’s truly humbling to be authentic and real, and I admire your ability to show your true self.

    My New Year’s Eve plans got canceled last night, too. We had too much snow and ice, which made the roads treacherous. I love God and believe He loves me…but sometimes it’s nice to have a person to actually talk to who is here in person!

    What are other ways you connect with people? I like to spend a lot of time alone, because I’m introverted. Being around people drains me, so I spend most of my time by myself writing, walking my dogs, or playing my flute. Still, I like to know somebody out there cares about and loves me 🙂

    Was there ever a time in your life that you felt truly cared for, and not so alone?

  8. Carolyn says:

    Thank you for writing this article. i am alone in life. i am not really the cute or likable type. i never have been. I was going to a church gathering to spend with others.They canciled it because someone important had other plans. Very sad. Wrll it was never for me anyway. i just wanted to go.

  9. ALICIA says:

    Thank you for this post. I was a pastor’s wife for 25 yrs. I found out he was having an affair. I tried for a year to make it work. One night we got into an argument. I just went to change into my pjs when I came back into the living room to get my phone he was on the phone with 911. I was siting on the couch texting my pastor as he told them I had a knife and was going to kill him.when the police came I honestly didnt think it would come to anything. When they sepeested ua I just told them like I just wrote. Well,he must have tols them some story. I was arrested and put in maximum securty. I had never had a traffic ticket. Of all the people I had poured my life into I didnt have one visitor in 8 months. The letters I did get even from fellow miniaters were hate one hoping I burned in hell for what I did. It was like in one hour a bomb went off and I lost my home,marrage,church we started and I loved,friendships,my dogs amd everything. When it was time for court I thought it was just him and I in the house I could push for a trial. My charge was felony assult. My lawyer said if I did they would push for attempted murder.I confused as nothing happened by we argued because I caught him on the phone with her and i left the room to go to bed. I asked who he had as witnesses amd he began liating my church people. I thought there was no way I was going to drag my church people into xourt andcause them chaos. So I had to plead guilty to felony assult wjich destroyed my career as a behavioral psycholgist working with troubled kids. So I spent 7 mo. I aolitary. I rwalized to make it ok to marry her,which he did,I had to be the bad guy so he could still minister. I always taught my youth groups that we are like a tube of toothe paste thhen we are squeezed whats really on the inside comes out. When I was mover to general population I emded up leading 24 womam to a relationship with God. I realized Im still who I am even were I was. When I got out I moved to Flint Mi to work in the innercity with my pastor. Its been four yrs. I has losty liscence for psy. Loat my 0 ordination. Due to the felony I just got a place to live. I have multiple sclerosis a camcer. So here I alone except for m service dog. I was pretty much at my end and was thinking of maling an exit.

    • Carolla says:

      DEAR ALICIA,

      Just want to ask if you are okay. I know you have been through a lot. Was thinking about you and wanted to reach out and let you know that. Life is not always easy or kind, but in the end you know who you are even if others do not acknowledge it . You can look in the mirror and know you do the right thing. Hold on! Find your self a reason. In the end you can make a difference to someone else. When I feel like this, I have a good cry, give myself a big hug and go and help someone else. Someone else is alway worse off than i am . Thank God! Hugs and much love Carolla

    • Natasja says:

      I can relate so much to you. I was an accountant and recently found out that i was pregnant when i told the father he left me and denied the baby. He was angry that I wont have and abortion he had me arrested on false algation pretty much the same situation as you. I was also place on max security. I was given the option of waiting 9 months for trial or pleading guilty to charges in order to get out of jail. I understand hlw you feel

  10. Laurie says:

    Dear Denise,

    It’s New Year’s Eve…are you spending it alone? I just wanted you to know that I’m thinking about you, praying for you, and wishing you all good things in 2017. Peace, love, joy, safety, and faith that it’s never too late for your life to unfold in beautiful and healthy ways…

    May you overcome those feelings of being unwanted, and may you learn that even when it feels like no one cares…someone out there is thinking about you.

    Take care of yourself.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  11. Denise says:

    Thank you for this site. So sad this holiday season. My father was terrible abuser. My mother hid. Only sib is brother who also participated in some. I grew up in Arizona and mother moved brother and me to Michigan after high school. Left friends. I became a nurse, later a psychologist. I didn’t remember what happened until a few years ago, when my mother died. I spent my life taking care of others and coming home so exhausted I had no ability to have a life. I never felt safe in a relationship so now 65 and no children or family. Relatives far away and not close. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life so alone. I help many others, but I have little left for me. On disability now, so financially bad situation.

  12. Charlene says:

    You have no idea how much I needed to read this. Thank you.

  13. Laurie says:

    Dear SadAndLonely,

    Thank you for being here – I’m glad to hear from you! You are important to me — and I suspect you are more important than you know to your family. It sounds like they’re taking you for granted, that they just assume you’ll continue to do all those good things for them because that’s what you’ve always done.

    Sometimes we get trapped by our own expectations. I’ve learned in my own life that when I expect people to respond or act in a certain way, then I am often disappointed. But when I let go of my expectations and detach from the outcome…I don’t really care how people respond!

    When you find yourself feeling unwanted and like nobody cares, maybe you could try letting go of your expectations. Don’t expect your husband to do the things you always do…because you always do them. Don’t expect your mom to remember your birthday….because she’s not that type of mother.

    Letting go of your expectations is about grieving what you wish you had. You need to grieve the fact that your mom isn’t who you want her to be, and neither is your husband. They can’t give you what you need — or what you deserve.

    I’m sorry that your family doesn’t love you the way you yearn to be loved. You deserve more, and better! But this is who you have in your life.

    What changes can you make in your life, to bring more joy, light, life, and peace? You can’t change your husband or mom, but you can start identifying where your power lies and how to create happiness for yourself.

    What do you think?

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  14. Sadandlonely says:

    I am the type of person that tries so hard for everyone . I buy presents on birthday’s . Take care of everyone. My husband doesn’t even pay for any bills. It’s ALL me. I throw my mom surprise birthday partys . My mom and I work together , I pick up her shifts when she needs me to. But no one except my 10 year old daughter even told me happy birthday. My own mother didn’t even so much as text me. She lives right down the road and her birthday is a week before mine and I made hers a huge to do. My husband always tells me I’m being taken advantage of and I’m too nice but honestly I think he does the same thing to me , if not worse. To top it off I know he didn’t forget because we got married on my birthday 10 yrs ago So it’s our anniversary too and he wanted his present (a gun) . I gave it too him. He did not get me anything. The next day my daughter asked him what did you get mommy for your anniversary/ birthday ? He said he was taking us to the circus . Something that I’ve been planning to do with my daughter . He means he was gonna grace us with his presence. Well he did go but the whole time he was saying , ” I hate this” ” I’m just here for you.” He actually stayed seated for about 4 or 5 minutes then left and said he was going to the bathroom. He never came back !! I kept texting him “where are you ? ” Finally a response that he ran into an old girlfriend and her kids. After an intermission he showed up and said let’s go , ” I can’t take this anymore. ” Wow it was such an awesome present sitting alone with my daughter downtown. I can’t take this anymore. I called my mom 5 times to talk. No response. I guess she was worried about it still being to close to my birthday and she may feel guilty. I’m ALONE . 🙁
    Now I’m leaving to go to work and take care of the mentally handicapped. At least I don’t feel like a nobody when I’m with them. Just a rant from a sad woman. Sorry . 🙁

  15. Ciera says:

    Thank you for posting this because I feel so alone. I wish I still my Mum was still alive because she was all I had. There’s alot to this story but I feel completely isolated by relatives and I don’t why. I think I might book myself away for a Christmas break. I can’t afford it but I’ll try and look at prices now so I can save money for it.

    • Isa says:

      Ciera, I’m sending you a hug because I know how it feels!!!!!
      I also can’t really afford it, but I’m giving myself this xmas gift of a little trip.
      But I have changed my dates now. I’m going one week before xmas.
      I would feel so awfully miserable sitting alone in a hotel room on a xmas day.
      I’d rather be alone at home. Take heart. There must be someone out there for you and youll meet them. Love yourself.

  16. Laurie says:

    Thank you, Isa – it’s great to hear from you! I’m glad this post was comforting, and that you are beginning to see things more clearly.

    Congratulations on your Christmas break – that sounds wonderful. I love being alone; I recently spent 6 days alone in Hollywood, CA. Two of the days were in a Communicators’ workshop, but the other 4 days were just me, myself and I wandering around the city.

    Stay connected with God. He knows what you need, and He will give you everything your heart desires! Trust him, for He is working everything together for your good. He loves you deeply, and He wants you to be filled with peace, love, joy, and freedom.

    Nobody can love you the way God does – especially when you feel like nobody cares. Just keep dipping into His river of love 🙂

    Let me know how your Christmas break goes!

    • Isa says:

      Thanks so much for your heartfelt reply Laurie. Means a lot. It’s great that you enjoyed 6 lovely days in Hollywood 🙂 My Christmas break is in Bruges, Belgium. It was very spontaneous decision, but it filled my Heart with joy! I always wanted to go, so really I’m making my little Dream come true.

      Yes, God is my only consolation. I have not other family….but Him. He is my real Father.
      He’s there for me. He protects me and guides me.
      I need to spend more time with Him and hear His voice.

      Lots of Love xxx

  17. Isa says:

    Just want to add that today did something that filled my heart with joy 🙂 I booked a two day Christmas break. At least now I have something to look forward to! It will be just me, myself and I, but I think it will be wonderful.

  18. Isa says:

    Dear Laurie,

    You don’t even know how much comfort I found in your post…It was like receiving a hug from a friend.
    I’m trying to stay strong. I have no one. And I haven’t met him yet. My only consolation is my Faith and knowing that God watches over me.

    But I’m finding gifts in my situation…. It makes me strong and I begin to see everything clearly, seeing the Truth is a blessing. I know that God is holding my hand and helping me to find a way out of this….
    I have to accept my fate for now and keep my Faith.

    xxxx

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *