Are you feeling lost and unwanted, like no one cares about you? Hang on – I know how you feel! The most important thing to remember when you feel all alone in this world is that it’s a natural – and even healthy – part of being human.
Below are seven things to remember when you feel like no one cares about you. We were created with a longing in our hearts – a longing for deep connection, true meaning, and sincere love in our lives. The feeling that something is missing and nobody cares is a simply part of our human condition. Everyone feels this way at some point in their lives. Some of us feel like this most of the time – and this is partly what depression feels like and why it’s so common.
Your “lost and alone” feelings are actually a good thing, believe it or not! It means you’re in touch with your authentic self. You’re alive and real, self-aware and insightful. You’re not stuffing your feelings down or hiding behind walls. You’re actually allowing yourself to be real. It hurts, but being real is the best way to live.
I can’t change how you feel, but I can give you seven things to remember when you feel deeply lonely and alone.
No One Cares About You? 7 Things to Remember
“My husband passed away five months ago and we have three kids,” says Christie on How to Adjust to Being Alone. “One is in second year of college and the two are in junior high school. It’s different talking to my kids rather than my husband. He had a lot of things to share with me, he was a very informative person and knew alot about business, general events, politics and new technology. Now I feel very lonely and sad. We used to talk before bed, share laughter and discussion.”
She adds that she doesn’t know how to move on without thinking about him all the time. “I am still crying but I’m hoping I will be back to normal life again,” she says.
1. You can create a “new normal” in your life
If you’re feeling unwanted and lonely because you lost someone you love, then you need to create a new “normal life” for yourself. If you’re depressed because of a breakup, then you need to rebuild a new life that is more fulfilling and interesting than the one you left behind. If you’re devastated because you were rejected and you really do believe no one cares about you, then you need to take a deep breath and remind yourself of what is true, good, and pure.
This is work only you can do. What was your old life like? It’s time to let it go. What will the new normal in your life be? You can do this – you can recreate your life. And it may be even brighter and more beautiful than you can imagine.
2. You’d be surprised at how loved you are
Last night I was at a friend’s for dinner, and I told her that I want to move to a new city. Vancouver is beautiful, but it’s crowded and expensive and busy. I want to live more simply and quietly.
My friend told me that I don’t know how much I’ll be missed by my friends and community here. I wave her away, saying that I actually haven’t connected with many people at all. She disagreed. She said I really don’t have a clue about how much I matter.
What if it’s the same for you? Maybe you feel unwanted and like no one cares about you…but is it possible that there is one person who really does love you? Yes. It is possible. In fact, it’s probably true. Turn your thoughts and attention towards that person when you’re feeling like no one cares. Soak up her love, and remind yourself that you aren’t alone.
3. You’re fully alive when you’re feeling alone
The reason you’re struggling with feeling unwanted is because you’re actually tuning in to how you really think and feel. This is painful – but it is the best way to live!
When you tell yourself “no one cares about me”, you’re being brave and strong enough to face your true feelings. Do you know how rare this is? Most of us distract ourselves from feeling unwanted and alone by surfing the internet, spending money, making money, doing drugs, seeking adrenalin rushes. Some of us don’t notice our feelings of being lonely because we’re caught up in our families, parenting, jobs, responsibilities, and relationships. But eventually the distraction is taken away, such as with a breakup or death of a loved one, which I talk about in Words of Comfort When Your Heart is Broken.
4. You are in touch with your true, deepest, most real self
I love that you’re here! You searched the internet because you feel like no one cares. You clicked the title “7 Things to Remember When You Feel Like No One Cares” because you know how you feel.
Something is calling you. Do you not perceive it? You are feeling unwanted and you are acting on those feelings because you have a purpose on this earth. You were put here for a reason, and these feelings that no one cares will help you find your purpose. This is happening for a reason. You found “She Blossoms” for a reason. This isn’t just about feeling unwanted and like no one cares about you…this is part of a deeper, more important calling on your life.
Your job is to keep listening for that still small voice. To do that, you need to take time alone. “The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.” – Anne Frank.
5. You will get through this and be happy again!
It’s lonely and sad to feel like no one cares about you. It hurts. Even though I’m an optimist and I always look on the bright side without even trying, I know what it feels like to be alone in this world. It’s a gray, empty, sad feeling. I’m almost always happy, but even I have to admit that it’s terrible to feel unwanted, lost, and alone. I know how it feels: I spent my childhood moving in and out of foster homes. My mom is schizophrenic, my sister doesn’t want to have anything to do with me, and my dad lives in Israel. I didn’t even meet him until I was 27 years old.
Even Happy Positive Cheerful Energetic Me knows that these feelings are heavy, gray, and suffocating. One of the best ways to cope when you feel like no one cares is to remember that these feelings will pass. You will get through this, and you will feel happy again.
6. If you write about how alone you feel, you may heal faster
Don’t suppress your feelings. It’s not fair – and it’s devastating – that you have to cope with the shadowy side of being human.
But you will make it worse if keep your emotions bottled up. Don’t swallow your feelings of being unwanted. Don’t hide the truth. Be honest with someone you trust when you feel like no one cares. And, LISTEN to the response you get. I bet you’ll hear people say they know how you feel, they feel the same way…and they love you.
But, don’t expect people to fill the hole in your heart and soul. Only God (or whatever you call your Higher Power) can do that. He created you, and He knows what you need. Nothing and no one else can care about you the way God does. Not relationships, parents, partners, food, sex, shopping, drugs, Facebook, or even Blossom newsletters can replace what only God can give you.
7. You can gain strength from an ancient source of wisdom
On 10 Ways to Figure Out What to Do With Your Life, I shared in the comments section that when I feel unwanted and like no one cares about me, I turn to Ecclesiastes in the Bible. There’s something comforting in the wise writer’s words, even though they’re full of pain and loneliness! Maybe that’s why it helps me. The writer – King Solomon – shares how meaningless life is, how lonely, sad, and alone he feels. He says nothing makes him happy, not money or wine or even wisdom. He ends by saying that the only solution is to fear God and obey His commandments.
Why that makes me feel better, I don’t know…I guess it’s because it helps me see that we’re all suffering, we all go through bouts of loneliness and meaninglessness…even people who lived more than 2,000 years felt the lostness and unhappiness we feel. It’s just part of being alive.
What to Do Next
Read The Happiness of Pursuit: Finding the Quest That Will Bring Purpose to Your Life by Chris Guillebeau.
Instead of dwelling on feeling unwanted and like no one cares about you, create a reason for living! Find your purpose in life. If you have no idea what it is, then you need to get off your sweet little behind and explore the world around you.
If you’re older than 100, read How to Cope With Being Alone When You’re Old. Really elderly people have different things on their mind than finding their purpose in life…or do they?
Open up about how unwanted and alone you feel. Write a poem, draw a picture, create a collage, paint a wall. Share your thoughts. See what happens.
While I can’t offer advice, I do read every comment. I encourage you to respond to other readers’ comments if you feel led, and to share your experience. Writing often brings clarity and insight, and can help you cope with your feelings.
‘Be strong; show what you’re made of! Do what God tells you. Walk in the paths He shows you: Follow the life-map absolutely, keep an eye out for the signposts, His course for life set out in the revelation to Moses; then you’ll get on well in whatever you do and wherever you go’ (1 Kings 2:2–3, MSG).