These 7 practical tips for letting go of the past will help you heal, flourish, and even Blossom into a new season! Your past is an important part of your life because it helped shaped who you are today – for better or worse. But, the past can also hold you back from being who God created you to be.
Are you holding on to the past? Maybe you know you need to pick up the pieces of your broken heart, but the very thought of life without that person you love is devastating. You’re lonely, sad, frustrated…and you may even think that God, too, has abandoned you.
I know how it feels. I know how difficult it is to let go of the past – and I know how letting go helps you heal! That’s why I created Blossom, and why I share tips for moving into fresh new seasons of life.
How Letting Go Helps You Heal
Letting go of the past is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. And, it’s the most important.
We tend to hold on tight to our memories, old relationships, and past lives because they’re familiar. Comforting. We are creatures of habit, and our past is one big habit that is hard to break! We know saying good-bye and letting go helps us heal, but it’s hard.
Here’s how letting go helps you heal: it frees you from anxiety, guilt, shame, and regret. Letting go allows you to see the world – and yourself – from a brand new perspective. Letting go of the past opens a garden of possibilities and options for you. Letting go helps you heal by giving you the opportunity to rediscover yourself and figure out what you really want from life.
Who I had to let go of
Almost 10 years ago, my sister announced – completely out of the blue and over the phone – that she never wanted to speak to me again.
We weren’t having a fight, I didn’t do anything to trigger a “sister divorce”, and I was completely unprepared. The worst part was that she couldn’t tell me why she decided to let me go. She kept saying “I don’t know” – and I was left confused, shocked, and heartbroken. This breakup was worse than death because she chose to reject me and didn’t give me any reason for leaving.
So, learning how to let go of someone you love became my purpose. I struggled with shame, guilt, confusion, and anxiety because I didn’t know how to move on without her. Now I know that letting go helps you heal by giving you freedom and peace – regardless of the decisions and choices your loved ones make.
How I let go of my sister
I talked to a family therapist, I did a ton of research and interviews and wrote an ebook called How to Let Go of Someone You Love, and I wrote in my journal. Those were helpful strategies – and I do suggest them as “Blossom Tips” for letting go and healing – but they weren’t the Thing That Helped Me Let Go of My Sister.
Here’s the thing: I was asked to write for 15 minutes my thoughts on the question, “How does God see you?” This exercise was crucial to changing how I see myself, to healing my identity as a child of God, and to freeing me from the past. Seeing myself through His eyes was the Blossom Tip that helped me heal, and helped me let go of all the negativity associated with my sister’s rejection.
What about you – what do you need help letting go of? I welcome your thoughts in the comment section below. I can’t offer advice or counseling, but you may find that writing can help you heal. Writing has a funny way of getting the gunk off your chest and lets the light in.
7 Blossom Tips to Help You Let Go and Heal
These are the things that helped me with letting go of my past, forgiving myself, and accepting that I will may never have the answers I sought…
1. Surrender to what is. The worst and most painful thing you can do is rail against reality! Instead of wishing things were different or thinking you “should” have this person or that experience, accept that your life is the way it is.
2. Embrace your life the way it is right now! This is a Blossom Tip that doesn’t just help with letting go and healing, it will fill you with peace and joy. Take your surrender a step further, and actually embrace your situation. Maybe this person’s exit from your life is a blessing. Maybe it’s not. Who knows?
3. Notice how letting go helps you heal. Pay attention to the freedom and peace you feel when you allow yourself to be free from fixating on what you want but don’t have. What does healing feel like to you? How does it change your outlook on life, your experience, your thoughts?
4. Learn about healthy emotional detachment. Detaching from your relationships and expectations in healthy ways will give you airy freedom and space to grow. You can love someone deeply, but not be obsessed or even unhealthily attached to them. Blossom Tip: Figure out who you are apart from your love relationship, marriage, kids, and family members. Give yourself room to breathe by developing your own interests and life. This will help you let go and heal.
5. Trust God. Just try it! Pretend that He knows every intricate detail of your life and every intimate cell of your body, and He cares deeply for you. He loves you so much that He sent Jesus His Son as a living sacrifice, a covenant, a light, a promise. Jesus isn’t just a “Blossom Tip” – He is LIFE. And He will show you how letting go helps you heal…if you let Him.
6. Learn about grief and healing. When we think about letting go and how it helps us heal, we don’t necessarily think about grieving. This is a mistake, because a HUGE part of letting go is allowing ourselves to grieve. When you let go of someone or something (such as a dream or goal), you need to say good-bye to your hopes and attachment. This is what grieving is, and it really is a Blossom Tip that helps with healing.
7. Listen to soothing love songs or angry rock music. If you’re musically inclined, you may find The Best Breakup Songs for Letting Go of Someone You Love helpful. This is my last tip for Blossoming because it doesn’t work for me. I’d rather write in my journal than listen to music, especially if I’m untangling issues in my life. But, to each her own!
What have I missed? If you were writing these tips for Blossoming, letting go of the past, and healing, what would you include?
Help Letting Go of Someone You Love
I wrote How to Let Go of Someone You Love to help me detach from the pain of losing my sister. It helped, especially by showing me that I’m not alone. We’re all living with the pain of learning how to let go and heal – and we can walk each other home.
This ebook isn’t just my experiences and “Blossom Tips” – I interviewed life coaches, relationship experts, and grief counselors to find the healthiest and best ways to recover from a painful breakup or loss. I’ve learned a lot since my sister rejected me, and I summarized it all in this guidebook.
And you – what do you think about how letting go helps you heal? Feel free to share your experience and story below! I’d love to hear from you. I don’t give advice or online counseling, but you may find it helpful to write about your situation.
May you find peace and healing, hope and faith. May you take time to see yourself the way God sees you, and may your identity be changed in positive ways. May you find your own unique tips for Blossoming, and may you find that letting go helps you heal in ways that surprise you.
And may you be set free from whatever is holding you back from being who God created you to be.
Need encouragement? Sign up for my weekly "Echoes of Joy" email - it's free, short, and energizing. Like me! Is your relationship in trouble? Get 7 Steps to Fixing Your Marriage from relationship coach Mort Fertel. It's free and helpful, no strings attached.