About Me

laurie pawlik kienlen vancouver writer blossom blog

Me, on my honeymoon in St Maarten

Hello! My name is Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen; I’m a full-time blogger and writer in Vancouver, BC, Canada. I’m 47 (almost), and more filled with the Spirit than I’ve ever been. Jesus is my joy, God is my rock, and the Trinity is my life. I’m a sinner and a saint, and I was created for this.

What about you – how are you? What is your source of life, joy, energy, strength? If that’s a little too personal (or controversial), maybe we could start with something more safe (and less meaningful). What’s your name, how old are you, and what brought you here? Where in the world are you right now? I’m also curious how you landed here on Blossom…maybe you were searching the internet for a problem I’ve written about – which is why I created “SheBlossoms.” My purpose is to help people cope with difficult problems, such as how to let go of someone you love or thoughtful sympathy gifts for the loss of a mother. I created a series of blogs to help you listen to the still small voice, get out of your own way, and Blossom in your life.

Here’s something incredible: I’ve been earning a full-time living as a blogger and freelance writer since 2008. I am amazed by this, and every day I wonder if today I’ll get fired (will the internet implode and cease to exist?). I’m not paranoid, but it’s just so wild that I get paid to Blossom!

If you have a dream that you’d love to get paid to do, take it from me: it is possible. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t make it as a writer, artist, doctor, astronaut, preacher, or surfer.

Listen to that still, small voice inside of you. You will Blossom.

Random Stuff About Me

Your thoughts are welcome in the comments section below – but you need to know that I don’t give advice to anyone about anything. I’m a writer and I love to share general insights and wisdom, but I can’t offer personal guidance or thoughts. I encourage people to share their stories because writing is healing, but I don’t tell people what to do with their lives.

Here’s a glimpse into my world…

  • I lived in Kenya, East Africa for three years. I taught Language Arts and Journalism at Rosslyn Academy, which is an American school in Nairobi.
  • Laurie Pawlik Kienlen Vancouver blogger writer Blossom

    Jackson and Me

  • My undergraduate degrees are in Education and Psychology from the University of Alberta, in Edmonton.
  • My Master of Social Work (MSW) is from University of British Columbia (UBC), in Vancouver.
  • I started volunteering with the Big Sisters/Big Brothers organization in 2012; my “Little” Sister is now 16 years old (she was 11 when we were matched). I was a Little Sister myself when I was 10 years old, in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. I’m still in touch with my Big Sister today! She lives in Toronto, Ontario.
  • As a freelance writer, I’ve written for a wide range of publications, including Reader’s Digest, Woman’s Day, MSN Health, Natural Health, Spirituality & Health, and sometimes More.
  • My dad was born, raised, and currently lives in Jerusalem, Israel. He’s Jewish. I’m Christian. My mom lives in a group home on an acreage outside Prince Albert, Saskatchewan. She’s struggled with schizophrenia my whole life. I lived in foster homes as a child.
  • My husband and I can’t have kids because of azoospermia. We chose not to get in vitro fertilization or IVF, though we did try intrauterine insemination or IUI. We also chose not to adopt or foster kids.
  • I’ve written several ebooks. How to Let Go of Someone You Love: 3 Powerful Secrets (and 75 Tips!) for Healing Your Heart is my most popular.

My purpose is to help women Blossom – which is why I created BlossomTips.com and How Love Blossoms. I love encouraging women over 40 to flourish in a new season of life, to ground themselves in the river of divine love and life, and to know who they are in Him.

After I turned 40, I got my Master of Social Work (MSW), taught myself to play the flute, and started painting with oils and acrylics (a dream come true for me). I also went on my first missions trip to Haiti. The older I get, the happier and more peaceful I become. And the bigger I Blossom 🙂

Other ways to see my stuff:

But I spend no time on Facebook or any social media site. I’d rather be writing! So don’t expect to find me there. .

My Blossom Blogs

Blossom in Love started out as Quips and Tips for Love and Relationships. I “rebranded” and am now Blossom. My purpose is to encourage and empower women in all types of relationship situations.

How Love Blossoms is an offshoot of my original love blog (Quips and Tips for Love and Relationships). That blog got way too big, so I had to weed it out. So now I have two love and relationship blogs. There’s not much difference between the two, which is crazy. Someone needs to do something about that.

Blossom in Life was originally Quips and Tips for Achieving Your Goals. It covers everything from overcoming career obstacles to making more money. That blog was supposed to help readers achieve their personal, professional, and financial goals…and my most popular article is 40th Birthday Gift Ideas That Will Surprise and Delight Her.

Blossom Tips is an offshoot of the original Blossom in Life blog (Quips and Tips for Achieving Your Goals). Again, that blog got way too big! So I had to more weeding. I dug up the most popular blog posts, and replanted them as Blossom Tips.

Blossom in Your Writing was first called Quips and Tips for Successful Writers. It’s the first blog I ever started, back in 2008. I love that blog, dude. It’s all about writing, editing, getting published — and blogging! There, I combine quips from famous published writers with practical writing advice. My most popular article is 11 Types of Articles to Write for Magazines, and I write about everything from “how to grab your reader by the throat” to “reasons book manuscripts are rejected.”

Blossom in Your Health – originally Quips and Tips for Couples Coping With Infertility – was the blog I started when we found out we can’t have kids. Infertility is a drag, but it doesn’t have to destroy our lives! My husband and I are riding the infertility roller coaster, but it hasn’t destroyed our dreams or crushed our spirits. Back in the day, I wrote articles about getting pregnant, dealing with childlessness, and even improving sperm count.

My eBooks

The “quips and tips” in my ebooks are not the same as the “quips and tips” on my blogs! All my ebooks include information and advice from a wide variety of sources. My ebooks aren’t just my tips — they’re me tapping into the brains of smart, experienced, educated, helpful people, and sharing what I learned.

75 Ways to Let Go of Someone You Lovehow to let go of someone you love – to help people let go of the past and move on with their lives. Letting go is one of the most painful things you’ll ever do…but there are ways to make it easier.

How to Survive the Loss of Your Pet – for people who are struggling to cope with pet loss. I interviewed veterinarians, grief experts, and pet owners who loved and lost their animals. This ebook contains 75 tips for healing after pet loss.

75 Ways to Make (More) Money Blogging – to help writers and bloggers make money doing what they love! If you spend time and energy on your blog, you deserve to earn a few bucks for your efforts. This ebook isn’t just about making money blogging, it’s about building a better blog.

73 Ways to Fire Up (or Just Fire!) the Muse – to help writers and bloggers overcome fear, self-doubt, criticism, and uncertainty. After all, who wants to read age 95 and wish they had written that bestselling novel? Who wants to die with unfulfilled dreams and desires? Not me.

80 Ways to Say “I Love You” – was to help people like me, who struggle to find the right holiday, anniversary, and birthday gifts for their partners! This ebook is about more than gifts, though — it’s about saying “I love you” and building a more meaningful relationship in small, incredibly important ways every day.

That’s me, in a nutshell. Tell me about you! I’d much rather listen than talk, and I welcome your comments and thoughts below. I can’t give advice, but I’d love to hear from you.

Questions for You:

  • Where do you live, and who do you live with?
  • What are you most grateful for in your life right now?
  • Where in the world do you wish you were?
  • Are you happy?

In peace and passion,



31 Responses

  1. Laurie says:

    Dear Kara,

    I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through – it’s sad when you love cats so much, and yet you’re allergic to them. It wouldn’t be good for you to have Tobi, yet you want him so bad. I feel for you – I can tell how upset you are! I would be, too. I hear you, and I really do feel your pain.

    May you find peace and joy, even without Tobi. I’ll keep you in my prayers. May you trust God, and believe that even though this doesn’t feel like the best thing for you…maybe for some reason it is. I remember when my husband and I found out we couldn’t have kids, and I was so heartbroken. But I held on to my faith, that for some reason it’s better for us this way. I don’t know why these sad things happen.

    Take care of yourself. Seek peace and joy, and hold on to the good in your life.


    • Lauren says:


      I love your blog -it’s such a Godsend to find something I can call home on the internet 🙂

      I wanted to ask you about something to do with my career, as I think I am a serious introvert, meaning for me that having to do fun things at the office that isn’t anything to do with getting the work done would not be something I’d want to get into

      I need a job that won’t stress me out like this and where it’s a huge MUST to have to chit-chat about everything and anything with my colleagues :/ I really find small talk so boring and feel drained when I have to put on this mask all the time around them

      Do you have any way I can contact you to talk about this issue I have?

      • Laurie says:

        Dear Lauren,

        Thank you for being here, and for your kind words! I’m so glad you found something on Blossom that inspires you – it sounds like you found one of my articles about introverts at work.

        I can’t offer advice or in-person feedback, but you may find it helpful to post your questions here or on one of my articles. I might have some ideas or thoughts to share — but I’m just a writer, not a coach or counselor. I can’t give you the supportive ear you need.

        You may find that writing about your struggles is helpful in surprising ways, especially if you write to God! Take time to express your thoughts and feelings, and listen to that still small voice inside of you. You may be surprised at the depth of wisdom and clarity you find!


  2. Kara says:

    Hello Laurie, I’m 14 years old and I love Jesus and I have a situation where we were gonna get this cat Tobi and then I was all excited and then I went in for cat allergy tests 2 days before we were gonna get the cat… And then I found out I’m allergic to cats and it’s been super hard for me cause I’ve met Tobi I love Tobi and I can’t seem to get over this like I’m thinking how did this happen? Everything was going so smoothly I keep telling myself just move on with life but this cat meant so much to me and Im not sure how to handle it. My mom doesn’t want a rodent but we have a dog and chickens already but I don’t know how to handle this like I’m so emotional.

  3. TLC says:

    If I could have an ounce of your joy today I would be thankful, and after reading your story, I feel like I am getting there! Thank you for sharing your life in this blog!! I found an article of yours about a year ago amd was rereading it today realizing I don’t remember about the author of it. I shared a comment on that article because my heart has been so heavy, joyless and I just feel in a rut emotionally and spiritually. I am also 46, childless, but have felt alone in my marriage most of it. I have put off so many things (a career, education included) waiting to even persue having a family. I am encouraged by your joy that comes through your writing and will keep reading (and praying) to turn the page on a new chapter in my life 😉 Blessings, Tracy

  4. Nymfa Aranas says:

    Hi Laurie! Thank God I found this site! I’m Nymfa, 47 and a freelance writer/editor from the Philippines. I made it to attend a conference in Texas and stay with my sister and her family for the Thanksgiving holiday last year.

    I was hoping to promote my book Rediscovering Your Intelligence in that Christian conference I attended with my pastor and church leaders but to my disappointment, my pastor and I didn’t make it on stage. Sad to say, my expectation to be debt free after my US trip was not met. But I still believe God has his purpose that’s intended for good (Rom. 8:28). I’m also praying to come back to the US soon provided the opportunity.

    Since I don’t currently have a full-time online job and only maintaining the opinion section of a site called Parent Herald, what I’m passionate about is to start a travel blog. And so, I have been searching on tips on how to monetize a blog and just what are the types of blog that really earn.

    I would have converted my WordPress free blog into a premium or business plan. I just can’t afford it at the moment.

  5. Della says:

    Hi Laurie. Your blog looks very interesting. I don’t know how I ended up finding it, but it seems exactly what I need right now. I was married for twenty years in what I thought was a great marriage. One day my husband came home and told me he wanted out, and didn’t love me. He actually said he never loved me. We have two adopted children because we weren’t able to have our own either. Anyways it’s been a crippling year and a half, but life goes on. This spring break my kids and I are going away to Cuba. It’s our first family trip without their dad. Typically he planned everything and would organized the whole trip, by his choice. Now I’m in charge and feeling very insecure. My daughter is fine, but my son has extreme behavioural problems. He can be quite a handful. Luckily we are going to an all inclusive, which isn’t our normal way of traveling, but under the circumstances I think it will make my life easier. Please wish me luck. I know in life sometimes things are put there to make us grow, I guess this will be one of those things. Keep up the good work.

  6. john brophy says:

    Hi Laurie!
    Sometime in the last month i was bitten by the writing bug and ruined a few keyboards pounding out an article that I just couldn’t resist writing. I did all my research and, as it was on a judicial subject, had my father the lawyer proof read it for logical and legal reasoning, and my retired instructor mother read it for clarity, and they both loved it. I thought to myself ‘This is great!’ and set out trying to find an editor to pitch it to.
    Well, as you might have guessed, it’s been a rocky road. I’d sent out over a dozen ‘pitches’ with no responses and all the while i was tweaking the query letter trying to get someone to show some kind of interest in my idea. Today i finally got my first reply, and though the editor passed on my idea, i was exultant. “Honey!” i shouted to my wife, “I got my first rejection! Hurray!” I was so happy i actually sent the editor a note thanking him for responding to my pitch.
    Sensing an impending breakthrough, i let my enthusiasm take over and started scouring the internet for better ways to get the attention of editors the world over when i happened upon your “10 Writing Tips” which by natural progression took me to your ” How To Write a Query Letter…” article and it was there that i struck gold. You were 100% right in saying nothing is really new anymore, but the way it’s written and the manner it’s pitched is where the cream rises to the top. I will find a way to get my article published, and the next one too.
    And then, doggone it, i had to go and read up on you a little bit, just to see where this great advice is coming from. Imagine my surprise when i read a few of the letters to you and your replies and found you to be a very caring and insightful person…especially for an editor. 🙂 I hope that you and your husband and your dogs and your cats are having a wonderful life up there in the land of the freeze.
    Should you ever feel bored, i would value your critique and guidance should you choose, but if not i do understand. I’m a builder by trade and i can’t go into anyone’s house house without being asked how to fix this, or add to that…sigh! But i do thank you for the wonderful articles you wrote and and wanted to let you know you are making the world a better place.

  7. Cynthia says:

    Hi Laurie!

    My name is Cynthia & I found you through an article you wrote on Emotionally Unavailable Men & it hit home for me with a brief relationship I ended for myself that I no longer could be in….And did major healing with…was a gift in many ways…

    I live in Laguna Beach, CA & am in the midst of following my Heart/intuition on living my life….in my terms, even though I have my fears…that ‘walking through my fears & doing them anyway?’

    Am choosing what it is to be happy inside me…every day…every moment, combined with trusting I’m supported with choices I make, walking my Unknown journey…

    Thank YOU, Laurie, for being here & sharing your insights…wisdom….

  8. Laurie says:

    Hello Judy,

    I am so sorry for your loss. The ebook should have been automatically sent right away; I just now emailed it to you.

    May your heart heal, and may you move forward in peace. I know this is easier said than done, and I believe that we never fully heal or recover from losing an animal we love. But, hopefully the ebook will bring you some comfort by showing you that you’re not alone, and help you see how others cope with pet loss.

    In sympathy,

  9. Judy Trib says:

    I ordered an ebook titled “How to Heal Your Heart After Losing Your Pet” and the money was taken from the account but I did not receive the ebook.

  10. Laurie says:

    Dear Rai,

    I am so proud of you! It takes a lot of courage and strength to talk about what you’ve been facing for the past 20 years. I see so much insight and hope in the comments you made. I feel your strength – even though you may not feel strong or confident.

    You have come a long way, and you have the potential to change your life. Or, you can choose to stay where you are.

    I’m not an advice-giver, but I had to write an article for you and other women in a similar situation (because you are not alone!).

    On Getting Away From an Abusive Husband After 20 Years of Marriage

    You’re in my prayers. May you find wisdom and guidance, hope and healing, strength and courage. And may you listen to that still small voice inside of you, that is telling you what you need to do. May you acknowledge your fears, and move forward no matter how scared you are.


    • Ren says:

      Hi Laurie it’s kinda funny I found you.i called a therapist today for an appointment to talk. I want to leave this relationship once and for all. I’ve left several times before and always went back he lewered me back.he has ptsd from war and I don’t know what else he has.im Now 63 and just want out once again.when ever I think things seem normal he starts up his crazy again calling me names etc. No physical abuse just mental emotional abuse.i do get ssd but I refuse to leave all my stuff because he sells it. I just can’t take this any longer. I know you don’t give advice.maybe a blog to talk to other women.

  11. Rai says:

    I have been with my husband since i was 18 , im 38 now . He started abusing me then and i stayed and now he graduated from physical to mental and verbal . I get ignored most of the time . We stopped doing things together and he took me off of our joint bank account . We have 3 kids , 19 , 12 and 4 . My oldest is also an abuser now and is in counseling . I believe it is my fault my son turned out like his father . I do not want to be 40 years old , financially dependent on him and still being abused but i am scared . Im not sure what im scared of , being alone or having it worse off then if i would of stayed . It does finally feel good to at least tell someone my deepest secret which is i am being abused . I am embarrassed . I have zero self esteem or confidence . I can not even concentrate to finish school i dropped out of college . I have a little voice in my head telling me to leave then fear sets in . Thank you to whoever is listening .

  12. Keith says:

    Thanks so much Laurie. I’m sure you’ve heard it a thousand times, but your gentle, positive words have brought me comfort and given me a sense of hope I did not have before. Please keep bringing your light to the world. It is truly a gift you have!

  13. Laurie says:

    Dear Gill,

    It’s great to hear from you… But I wish we were talking under better circumstances! Telling people that you have decided to rehome your dog is hard. There is no way to sugarcoat it. People don’t really understand how painful it is to give up a dog, and what leads people to make this difficult decision. Dog lovers don’t understand because they love dogs! People who don’t have pets don’t understand because… Well maybe they understand a bit better. But still, it’s not easy for people to accept.

    That said, however, everybody that I’ve told in person has been very understanding, probably because I lead with the problems I was having with my dog, Jazz. I said (and still say) that I felt horrible and heartsick about having to give her up, but I couldn’t handle her. I just could not take care of her the way she needed me to. So I had to let her go. It still stings after four years, to tell you the truth, but I had to do it.

    Gill, I think you’ll have to accept that people aren’t going to love the fact that you gave (or are giving) Alfie away. But this is a decision you made, and you need to find a way to be comfortable with it. If you are comfortable with this decision – even though it is incredibly painful, I know! – then people will receive the news comfortably. By “comfortable” I don’t mean light-hearted or joyful…I just mean that you are settled and peaceful with the decision.

    I hope this helps, and I wish I could support you better! But you’re making this decision for the right reasons, and it’s important that you don’t let other people’s opinions and feelings affect how you feel about yourself or your decisions in life.

    Easier said than done, I know. But you can’t live your life based on what other people think you should do, can you?

    Take good care of yourself, for you are worth taking good care of!


  14. Gill says:

    Hi Laurie
    Read your post on giving up your dog . I too am in a position that I have decided to rehome my dog {a springer spaniel with boundless energy} I live on my own{UK] and have struggled this passed year. Alfie is adorable but my circumstances are complicated .. 2 elderly parents who need my assistance and are becoming more dependent , I work 1 afternoon a week and although I do have a good friend who tries to have him when she can but due to commitments at work often is unable to help out.
    Reading your post made me laugh and cry all at the same time. Even though I know in my head it would be the right thing to do , my heart tells another story. Pressure from others too play a part as I’m told ‘ but he’s lovely …such a clever dog… Isn’t he a handsome boy’. Yes he’s all these things but he is also very hard work and he needs at least 2 good walks a day . These comments make me feel really guilty resulting in putting the dreaded day off…. You see I love my dog and my reasons for giving him up are true and sincere.. I believe he would, with the right family ,have a much more fulfilled life and that is all I want for him.
    I know you don’t give advice. I just think I am reaching out for a hand to hold and for someone to say everything will be alright It’s the guilt I am having difficulty with and explaining to others the reasons behind my decision . Thank you for taking the time to read this .Sent with love x

  15. Laurie says:

    Hi Katie,

    I wrote that article on May 27, 2013. What’s your assignment about, and how did you refer to my blog post? I’m curious what you’re writing about!

    All good things,

  16. Katie Wells says:

    Hi Laurie,
    I’m an undergraduate using one of your blogs in my assignment and i have to use a Harvard referencing system, I’d like to know if you know when you wrote your blog on “how to cope when your ex finds a new girlfriend” – http://howloveblossoms.com/ex-has-new-girlfriend/ – just so you know which one I’m talking about. Many thanks, kind regards, Katie. York, England.

  17. Laurie says:

    Hi Syed,

    I don’t write for Reader’s Digest anymore, but this article may help you:

    How to Write Query Letters for Magazine Articles

    Learn as much as you can about the business of writing for magazines, for that is more important than getting an editor’s email address or phone number.

    Good luck!
    – Laurie

  18. Laurie says:

    Hi Tish,

    A bracelet is a lovely gift for your niece; I hope you find the right one! I think it might be easier to have a custom silver bracelet made for her, with the engraving that you want.

    “You are braver than you believe and stronger than you feel” and an inspirational and encouraging message. Here’s a link to a page on Amazon that offers bracelets with custom messages:

    I think most jewelers and online jewelry stores – even Etsy – would offer this service. This might be even more special for your niece, for you could include her name on the message!

    I hope this helps, and will keep your family in my prayers,

  19. Tish Sparr says:

    I recently read an article on 17 Gifts for a Women that has gone through a double mastectomy. One of the gifts was a beautiful silver bracelet with the quote: “you are braver than you believe and stronger than you feel”. I love that quote and want to get my niece that to help in her recovery, but all I can find are bracelets with this quote: “You are braver than you believe Stronger than you seem and Smarter than you think”.

    I am hoping you are one of your followers can help me find that bracelet.

  20. Syed says:

    Hi Laurie!
    I’ve been reading your musings for quite some time now and I love your angle on any topic that you touch 🙂
    I recently decided to get a guest post published at RD.com and I was wondering if you can help me get through to an editor.
    Thanks in advance!


  21. Laurie says:

    Sure, Barb, you have permission to publish my article about office politics on your blog. Your website looks awesome, by the way! Well done. 🙂

  22. Barb Poole says:

    Hello Laurie! I write a career blog and have been in practice as a career coach and writer for 30 years. I love your 9 tips for office politics. May I have your permission to put on my blog with full attribution to you, of course! Thank you! Barb Poole, Hire Imaging LLC

  23. Laurie says:

    Dear Gulla,

    I don’t personally have a fund to help women, but I believe there is assistance available, depending on where you live! Here’s a starting point:

    What You Need to Know When You Call a Shelter or Safe House


    How to Leave Your Husband When You Have No Money

    What options have you already explored, and what was the response when you asked about funding?

    – Laurie

  24. Gulla says:

    Is there any any fund and shelter for women with you, by which she can be able to live her life after devorce.

  25. The Mercantile One says:

    Hi Laurie, I really love your Quips and Tips blog and wonder if you still accept submissions. Perhaps financial tips from an accountant? Thank you

  26. Laurie says:

    Thanks for being here, Laura, it’s great to hear from you! It sounds like you have many passions, and a very interesting life 🙂

    May God bless your blog and writing career. It’s an exciting journey, and I hope you enjoy every step! It’ll be full of ups and downs, peaks and valleys….but if you enjoy the journey, you’ll find peace and joy in every step.


  27. Laura A says:

    Hi Laurie, My name is Laura and I am a fellow Christian and found your site a while back and was going through my favorites and wanted to comment. I am on my early roads into blogging and writing for my second career. I am an educator (elementary ed) by trade with 2 years left before retiring from my first profession. So I have spent several years, summers and nights, researching my this new world. I am also married, my DH and I have no children as we were almost 40 before marrying for the first time, but we have 28+ nieces and nephews, so family is scattered around America. We are in our mid-50s (celebrating 20 years of marriage next June) and have many animals, one dog and three cats inside, with 5 feral cats outside. My passions are God, health (a wannabe gardener that hates varmits that are ponies or sting), writing, travel, animals, friendships, and reading. And I always read bios of folks that I want to follow to see what their lives are like. Wow, you have had quite an interesting childhood and God has granted you much peace through all that you have gone through. I traveled until I was six, when my Dad retiring from the US Navy. My mom was sickly and sorta went to bed when I was 12 or so, so that the boys and I went to talk with her in bed for a lot of growing up years. She would make our meals, but mostly I remember her being in bed and dad working a lot. I went to church with friends and went on vacations with friends and that is how I came to know Jesus. Then God took me by the hand and i prayed for 30 years for my Dad’s salvation and He answered that prayer, when one day I got a call from my Mom that my Dad had something to tell me. He had accepted Christ as Lord and Savior. I apologize, I don’t normally write a book when commenting on a blog. I just liked your open-ness and wanted to share. I hope to learn much from you. Thank you.

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