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Recreating and Replanting with Eve – Growing Forward

Eve was the first woman in the Bible to lose a child, and the grieving process hasn’t gotten easier through the ages. Eve’s losses were heartbreaking. She was the first woman to lose her home, identity, and plans for the future. She suffered one son’s death and another son’s estrangement.

We know Eve as the first woman God created. She ate the forbidden fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil; she and Adam were cast out of the Garden of Eden. Eve is famous for this mistake, but we often forget her other experiences with death, grief, and letting go.

This article—Recreating and Replanting With Eve—goes hand-in-hand with the first chapter of my book Growing Forward When You Can’t Go Back. Every chapter has five different Blossom Tips to help women move through loss. Each activity highlights a different aspect of who we are: spirit, heart, soul, body, and brain. Eve’s Blossom Tips show us different ways to grieve and heal from loss.


How did Eve grieve the death of two sons and still manage to praise God for the blessings He gave her? We don’t know for sure. It must have been heartbreaking though; a mother’s grief is deeper and more painful than any other type of pain.

There is no good or final way to recover from loss and grieve the death of someone you love. In fact, you never really “finish” grieving, do you? You never get over the loss of someone you love…you just learn how to grow forward. You can’t go back, but you can keep walking through the valley.

A Glimpse of Eve

We know Eve as the first woman God created. She ate the forbidden fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil; she and Adam were cast out of the Garden of Eden. Eve is famous for this mistake, but we often forget her other experiences with death, grief, and letting go.

Recreating and Replanting with Eve – Growing Forward

Eve – courtesy of JW

Eve was the first woman in the Bible to lose a child, and the grieving process hasn’t gotten easier through the centuries.

Her experiences were heartbreaking. She was the first woman to lose her home, identity, and plans for the future. She suffered one son’s death and another son’s estrangement.

Eve was the first mother to:

  • Grieve the death of a son.
  • Agonize over her other son’s crime of killing his brother.
  • Feel the pain and shame of family estrangement.
  • Rebuild a marriage devastated by the grief of losing two boys.
  • Heal and move forward without the support of a mom, sister, or aunt.

Not only that, Eve carried the burden of being the first woman to sin. I can’t imagine how she felt after being cast out of the Garden of Eden with Adam.

After leaving the Garden of Eden, Eve lost her boys, Cain and Abel. Since she was the first woman God created, she had no sisters, aunts, friends or even a mother to help her through the grieving process. Eve had Adam, but she didn’t have a woman to lean on after her sons died.

Can you imagine how painful life would’ve been for Eve? Her older son, Cain, killed her younger son, Abel. Then Cain was banished from the community, which means Eve lost two children at once. The Bible doesn’t tell us how she grieved the death of her boys, but it does say she praised God after He gave her another son, Seth.

One of the most helpful books I’ve read on grieving a child’s death is And A Sword Shall Pierce Your Heart. It primarily addresses the vast number of mothers who lost their children, but it’s also a source of support and insight for family members and friends who are affected by a child’s death and a mother’s grief.

My Losses – Laurie’s Story

At last count, I  survived fifteen major losses in my life—starting from the day I was born. I grew up with a single Christian mom who struggled with nervous breakdowns and schizophrenia my whole life. My dad is Jewish, born and raised in Israel. When he landed in Canada in the late 1960s, he was planning to earn money, return to Jerusalem, and buy a business. Indeed, he moved back to Israel when I was nine months old.

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen She Blossoms Growing Forward

Me, in Jerusalem

My mother was hospitalized several times, unable to cope with episodes of severe paranoia and hallucinations. During her treatments my younger half-sister and I lived in three different foster homes, plus a stint at a neighbor’s house.


Even when my mom was well, living with her wasn’t easy; we often found ourselves wandering the streets in the middle of the night, sleeping in cardboard boxes in alleys and on the front steps of churches.

I share more of my story in Growing Forward When You Can’t Go Back. I briefly describe my journey through infertility and childlessness, a devastating family estrangement, a three-year stint of homesickness in Africa, and an attempted rape in my apartment in the middle of the night.

When you see how I grew through the setbacks, disappointments and deaths, you’ll discover how to weather the storms and droughts in your own life. You will flourish and blossom in ways you never imagined.

What do you think – how are you doing? Share your big or little thoughts in the comments section below! Writing is healthy, especially if you feel confused, sad, scared or lost. It can help you make sense of your experiences and untangle your emotions.

Questions From Growing Forward When You Can’t Go Back

At the end of every chapter are Questions for Journaling and Discussion that are directly related to that chapter’s Blossom Tips. Readers are invited to come here and share their thoughts.

The questions in Eve’s chapter:

  • The Promise: Which of God’s promises resonate with you? How has He answered them…or are you still waiting?
  • On the Mend: How do you feel about talking to a counselor? If youe sought counseling in the past, what were the benefits and drawbacks?
  • Bittersweet: Would you describe your life as a woven tapestry or a car wreck? What could you weave, knit, make, or bake to symbolize your life in the Weaver’s hands?
  • Uphill Backward: How often do you surprise your body by exercising, moving, or stretching in different ways? What does your body need: rest or sweat, pampering or pushing?
  • Fill in the Blanks: What benefits have emerged from your loss or pain? How do you feel about celebrating the blessings that arise after loss?

Feel free to answer these questions in the comments section below. Or, share anything that’s on your mind, about anything you’d like! It’s your space.

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About Growing Forward

Growing Forward When You Can’t Go Back offers a fresh, practical perspective on moving through loss. I share stories of contemporary and biblical women who transcended extraordinary pain and grief. I weave in my own experiences of growing up with a single schizophrenic mother, living in foster care, and then coping with infertility.

Growing Forward She Blossoms Laurie PawlikEvery chapter includes five Blossom Tips, to help you:

  • Accept—and even embrace—a new season of life.
  • Take small steps forward in practical, creative, delightful ways.
  • Weave faith, trust, and hope into your heart, thoughts, and daily lives.

At the end you’ll have 50 Blossom Tips for moving forward after a loss. Each activity highlights a different aspect of who we are: spirit, heart, soul, body, and brain. This holistic approach ensures the whole self is addressed by incorporating spiritual, emotional, creative, physical, and intellectual growth.

Growing Forward When You Can’t Go Back is a comforting, encouraging book for women walking into a new season of life…which also makes it a great gift for women coping with death, divorce, or a difficult diagnosis.

In peace and passion,

Laurie

P.S. Here’s the full list of Growing Forward articles here on “She Blossoms.” These aren’t the actual chapters of the book, they’re just our meeting places.

  1. Recreating and Replanting With Eve
  2. Sprouting With Sarah
  3. Digging Deeper With Hagar
  4. Uprooting With Naomi
  5. Starting Fresh With Ruth
  6. Growing Roots With Martha and Mary
  7. Reviving Your Heart With Hannah
  8. Renewing Your Purpose With Esther
  9. Growing Forward With Mary Magdalene
  10. Blossoming Into Life With Mary


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