What to Remember When You Feel Like No One Cares

If you feel lost and unwanted – like no one cares about you – hang on. I understand what it’s like to be abandoned, rejected, and alone. When you feel like no one cares, you don’t see the point in life. You don’t necessarily want to end your life…you just want the feeling of being alone to go away.

One of the most important things to remember when you feel like nobody in the world cares about you is that you are not alone. And, feeling alone is a natural – and even healthy – part of being human.

Below are seven things to remember when you feel like no one cares about you. You, me, we all were created with a longing in our hearts – a yearning for deep connection, true meaning, and sincere love in our lives. The feeling that something is missing and nobody cares is a simply part of being a healthy human being. Everyone feels this way at some point in their lives. It hurts, it sucks, I hate it…but it’s part of being alive.

Some of us feel like alone and like nobody cares most of the time – and this is partly what depression feels like (depending on the cause of the depressed feelings).

Your “lost and alone” feelings are actually a good thing, believe it or not! It means you’re in touch with your authentic self. You’re alive and real, self-aware and insightful. You’re not stuffing your feelings down or hiding behind walls. You’re actually allowing yourself to be real. It hurts, but being real is the best way to live.

I know it hurts, because I’ve felt the stinging pain of rejection and the lonely ache of abandonment. I can’t change how you feel – nobody can – but I will give you seven things to remember when you feel deeply lonely and alone.

7 Things to Remember When You Feel Like No One Cares About You

“My husband passed away five months ago and we have three kids,” says Christie on How to Adjust to Being Alone. “One is in second year of college and the two are in junior high school. It’s different talking to my kids rather than my husband. He had a lot of things to share with me, he was a very informative person and knew alot about business, general events, politics and new technology. Now I feel very lonely and sad. We used to talk before bed, share laughter and discussion.”

She adds that she doesn’t know how to move on without thinking about him all the time. “I am still crying but I’m hoping I will be back to normal life again,” she says.

1. You won’t always feel this alone and unloved

If you’re feeling unwanted and lonely because you lost someone you love, then you need to create a new “normal life” for yourself.

Feel Like No One Cares About YouIf you’re depressed because of a breakup, then you need to rebuild a new life that is more fulfilling and interesting than the one you left behind. If you’re devastated because you were rejected and you really do believe no one cares about you, then you need to take a deep breath and remind yourself of what is true, good, and pure.

This is work only you can do. What was your old life like? It’s time to let it go. What will the new normal in your life be? You can do this – you can recreate your life. And it may be even brighter and more beautiful than you can imagine.

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2. You matter more than you know – so don’t believe the lies

Last night I was at a friend’s for dinner, and I told her that I want to move to a new city. Vancouver is beautiful, but it’s crowded and expensive and busy. I want to live more simply and quietly. My friend told me that I don’t know how much I’ll be missed by my friends and community here. I waved her away, saying that I actually haven’t connected with many people at all. She disagreed. She said I really don’t have a clue about how much I matter.

It’s the same for you: you matter more than you think. Maybe right now you feel unwanted and like no one cares about you, but deep down you know that there is at least one person in the world who cares about you!

Don’t believe the lies you hear that you’re not good enough, lovable, or valuable. Instead, believe in the love of God who created you and loves you more than you’ll ever know. When you feel like no one cares, simply look up. Take a deep breath. Open your heart and spirit to receive the love, power, and grace of Jesus. He is here right now, and He has never left you. Nor will He ever leave you! Soak up God’s love, for it is deep, eternal, and constantly available to you.

3. You’re feeling alone for a reason

The reason you’re struggling with feeling unwanted is because you’re actually tuning in to how you really think and feel. This is painful – but it is the best way to live! It’s the path to God, and to true fulfillment.

When you tell yourself “no one cares about me”, you’re being brave and strong enough to face your true feelings. Do you know how rare this is? Most of us distract ourselves from feeling unwanted and alone by surfing the internet, spending money, making money, doing drugs, seeking adrenalin rushes. Some of us don’t notice our feelings of being lonely because we’re caught up in our families, parenting, jobs, responsibilities, and relationships. But eventually the distraction is taken away, such as with a breakup or death of a loved one, which I talk about in Words of Comfort When Your Heart is Broken.

4. You are close to the truth – and your truest, deepest, most real self

I love that you’re here! You searched the internet because you feel like no one cares. You were drawn to the idea that “Nobody Cares About Me” because you need to reach out – and you’re honest about how you feel. This is good, even though it may not feel great right now.

Something is calling you. Do you perceive it? You are feeling unwanted and you are acting on those feelings because you have a purpose on this earth. You were put here for a reason, and these feelings that no one cares will help you find your purpose. This is happening for a reason. You found “She Blossoms” for a reason. This isn’t just about feeling unwanted and like no one cares about you…this is part of a deeper, more important calling on your life.

Your job is to keep listening for that still small voice. To do that, you need to take time alone. “The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.” – Anne Frank.

5. You will get through this and be happy again!

It’s lonely and sad to feel like no one cares about you. It hurts.

feel like no one cares about meEven though I’m an optimist and I always look on the bright side without even trying, I know what it feels like to be alone in this world. It’s a gray, empty, sad feeling. I’m almost always happy, but even I have to admit that it’s terrible to feel unwanted, lost, and alone. I know how it feels: I spent my childhood moving in and out of foster homes. My mom is schizophrenic, my sister doesn’t want to have anything to do with me, and my dad lives in Israel. I didn’t even meet him until I was 27 years old.

Even Happy Positive Cheerful Energetic Me knows that these feelings are heavy, gray, and suffocating. One of the best ways to cope when you feel like no one cares is to remember that these feelings will pass. You will keep going even though you want to give up, and you will feel happy again.

6. You’ll feel better if you write about how you feel

Better out than in, is what I always say! Don’t suppress your feelings. It’s not fair – and it’s devastating – that you have to cope with the shadowy side of being human.

But you will make it worse if keep your emotions bottled up. Don’t swallow your feelings of being unwanted. Don’t hide the truth. Be honest with someone you trust when you feel like no one cares. And, LISTEN to the response you get. I bet you’ll hear people say they know how you feel, they feel the same way…and they love you.

But, don’t expect people to fill the hole in your heart and soul. Only God – through the love of Jesus – can do that. He created you, and He knows what you need. Nothing and no one else can care about you the way God does. Not relationships, parents, partners, food, sex, shopping, drugs, Facebook, or even Blossom newsletters can replace what only God can give you.

7. You can gain strength from an ancient source of wisdom

On 10 Ways to Figure Out What to Do With Your Life, I shared in the comments section that when I feel unwanted and like no one cares about me, I turn to Ecclesiastes in the Bible. There’s something comforting in the wise writer’s words, even though they’re full of pain and loneliness! Maybe that’s why it helps me. The writer – King Solomon – shares how meaningless life is, how lonely, sad, and alone he feels. He says nothing makes him happy, not money or wine or even wisdom. He ends by saying that the only solution is to fear God and obey His commandments.

Why that makes me feel better, I don’t know…I guess it’s because it helps me see that we’re all suffering, we all go through bouts of loneliness and meaninglessness…even people who lived more than 2,000 years felt the lostness and unhappiness we feel. It’s just part of being alive.

Let Go of the Past

I Feel Like No One CaresI wrote How to Let Go of Someone You Love: Powerful Secrets and Practical for Healing Your Heart to help readers cope with a breakup, divorce, or other loss of a loved one.

If you feel like no one cares about you, you may be holding on to a love that’s over. The pain of breaking up affects every part of your life: your daily routine, work, family relationships, friends, hopes and dreams for your future, and even your financial plans.

It’s time to let go of your belief that nobody cares about you, and that you’ll always be alone. It’s time to pick up the handle of faith, hope, and healing…and to start moving forward into a beautiful new season of your life.

Find God in the Waves

When You Feel Like No One CaresIn Finding God in the Waves- How I Lost My Faith and Found It Again Through Science, Mike McHargue describes the pain of unraveling belief. He tells the story of how his Evangelical faith dissolved into atheism when he studied the Bible.

His crisis of faith threatened his identity, his friendships, and even his marriage. Years later, Mike was standing on the shores of the Pacific Ocean when a bewildering, seemingly mystical moment motivated him to take another look. But this time, it wasn’t theology or scripture that led him back to God—it was science.


Write about how unwanted and alone you feel – you may find yourself feeling lighter and less lonely. Write about how it feels like nobody cares, here in the comments section or in your private journal. If you’re not into journaling, you might write a poem, draw a picture, create a collage, paint a wall. Share your thoughts. See what happens.

I encourage you to respond to other readers’ comments below if you feel led, and to share your experience. Writing often brings clarity and insight, and can help you cope with your feelings.


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130 thoughts on “What to Remember When You Feel Like No One Cares

  • John

    I am struggling with my fear of being alone. I’m in a relationship that I want to let go because of our issues. But everytime we break up I end up being depressed so to cope up I “fix” things up and go back to her so I wont feel alone. I became dependent to her. I feel like I cannot be happy without her. When we are apart during the break ups I always crumble to the thought that I am alone. No one to check on me if I’m doing fine. No one to share my thoughts to. No one who makes me feel I am loved. Life seems meaningless when no one needs me anyway. I hope to find happiness without being dependent to a partner.

  • Lewis Secuiu

    I also have dreamed with social life existence, I’ve dreammed chatting with a best friend, in the most natural and beautiful way, and I’ve imagined he asks me how I’m doing because he’s really interested in my life, he likes my tastes, he likes my skills, he approves my goals and my effort… and I feel I’m being stared in the best possible way. I feel there’s no such thing as loneliness or sadness, and the I feel love and I feel I can love someone for the very first time I’ve got no more eyes or time to look into another thing. I feel sad because all I dream is a lie, and even I’ve tried to make i real, alsways it happens the fact that I’m too itchy for people so they cant tolerate me, but I need to tolerate them because if not, who’ll be my friend?

    DO friends exist? I’m one, and ones knows it yet… and I feel sad, I’ve got so much to give… and no one is giving me…

  • P -

    I am struggling to feel loved or wanted. I get wrapped up in the throes of depression and my negative attitude pushes people away. When people don’t say or act how I think they should, I assume it’s about me. I’ve lost friendships over this. I’ve been told that nobody wants to be around me because I have such a “negative attitude”, that I’m whiny, and I’m selfish. This hurts and causes me to isolate more. I fall into the trap of self-loathing. I look for an escape but none take the pain away. I am losing hope. I’ve been praying because I know God loves me but sometimes I feel like it will be like this forever. I try to correct my atttitude. I try to be nicer to people, but I still fall short. I take everything personally like everyone is attacking me. I don’t want to be like this anymore.

    • Barbara Smith

      Dear P,

      One solution is to Love Yourself not to wait to be loved by somebody else or be dependent on someone else loving you. You will feel a lot better if you love yourself, think something of yourself, dress how you want to and smile.

      Dolphins and golden retrievers always look like they’re smiling!

      As well as this, can you try and work out what is making you depressed in the first place? When did it start and what was happening at that time? Is there anything you can do about that?



    • B

      You are not alone. I feel the same way. I am trying to take time to get outdoors, enjoy nature, read what God says about me in his Word, and pray for others. It helps. I am also trying to train myself to listen to and appreciate others and not feel like I have to be the focus and have their approval to be of importance. I am working on finding my value in Christ – not in friends, shopping, social media, etc. Praying for you. We are all fearfully and wonderfully made by God. The enemy would have us feel and think otherwise. Cast down or put off those negative thoughts and replace them with what God says about you in his Word.

  • Palma

    I’m 25 and feel like my life is stuck. Today was so hard emotionally I just had to get in the internet and see if I’m going through this alone or there’s someone out there that understands it. I feel lonely and sad and the worst part is I have no one to talk to. I have a family but I feel like I don’t belong here. Everyone is successful and well mannered according to them and I’m the lost one..I’m referred to as hot headed because I always say out things as they are. None the less regardless of what I do, I don’t feel or get any appreciation. Once in high school my brother denied knowing me and several times I’m a bit embarrassing to my siblings as I’m fat so I’m left out of alot of things. This experience has hurt and left me wounded. On days like this, when I go low it’s bad when I think and remember all this. It’s like I’m a problem that should go away as people would be happier without me around them. I didn’t have many connections growing up either so I don’t have friends. I don’t blame anyone, I was too busy studying to make my parents happy. I tried making friends but I wasn’t financially stable so I couldn’t do what most people would want. It’s really a hard struggle with my self esteem all the time. Two years ago I got a job, not the best but I believe when I get something that earns a living I do my best at it. I work for a sports betting and gaming company, in my family that’s a taboo, gambling and no one has ever supported me through it. So even with tough days at work, I battle it alone and tell myself it’s gonna be ok. I tried getting other jobs but for some reason I’m always rejected whether permanent jobs, internships, scholarships or volunteering. Sometimes it feels like it’s God’s way of telling me, He’s got me in a good place, I dunno. My love life is frustrating. I’ve never had a real relationship. Everyone I found is already taken and it feels like there’s no one for me. I joined several dating sites hoping I would meet people but even strangers cannot stand me. I feel like I’m battling my life, my weight, my ego, my wants, my self esteem all alone and I don’t know if I can do it anymore.

    • Andrew

      I think you want connection more than anything. It sounds to me like the household you’ve been growing up in was not good for your emotional well-being. Everyone knows about their physical well-being and physical needs, but that’s not all there is. Emotional needs exist too, no matter how much people out here want to deny and suppress emotions and feelings like they don’t exist. We still go through the full range of emotions as humans. Express how you feel, don’t suppress it. I’m a rather quiet guy who’s had an easier time blogging and writing about it sometimes. I used to think that being nice would get me love and connection, but instead people are annoyed and judge me anyway. I used to believe that how successful you are at what you do (job-related) is what will earn you love and validation and connection, but at 24 I’ve already seen this is not true. Instead I find myself still recovering from being fired a year ago from a terrible job in which I’d felt enslaved. If the way you’ve been feeling is how you feel around your family members, and they distance themselves instead of be there for you, then I’d recommend not focusing on them so much. It sucks feeling like everyone around you is countries away from you, I’ve experienced that pain and know it all too well. When you’re by yourself for awhile it’s an opportunity to integrate and do what you want to do. People who embrace you for you right now and want to be around are the ones worth focusing on. There’s not as much noise to drown out your own voice when you’re alone. I’d extend this message further but I’m kinda worried you won’t see it let alone read it. On the other side of the pain, is something good. Keep living by Faith in Him, life will get better!


  • Andrew

    I’m 24, real sincere connection is something I’ve always wanted but never got. I just searched “no cares for the umpth time and found this article for the first time. If people care about me it’s because they’re nosy and want to gossip or take advantage of me. All of my “peers” from high school might as well have disappeared into air. I have no one to talk to, there is no mentor, and I was just scolded again for not having a “job”. People care more about what I’m doing or what shoes I’m wearing than they do me. I live in a neighborhood but our neighbors might as well be a whole continent away. I just quit Flickr because someone wouldn’t stop taking pictures of the exact same things I already took a picture of. This user had plenty of time to do that but no time to interact with me who he knows is living close by. I have dreams I’m interacting and laughing with people who celebrate me and want me around, and I want them around. They’re with me and I’m with them out of free will. I’m even in a relationship if not married. Once awake, it’s back to reality; I’m introverted and practically social phobic and people are usually judging me and tolerating me. I’ve never dated, and ladies I come across are not interested, or they’re taken, or they’re involved in some fantasy with a TV or music celebrity they have no chance of getting with. I don’t want this to continue into 2018, this life without connection hasn’t been worth living. I’d rather wake up to live life in one of those dreams I described.😭

    • Andrew

      I meant to write ‘ “no one cares” for the umpth time’ there at the beginning. Such a pro at writing…oh wait, I actually do blog.. 😓

      • consta

        It is true, no one cares! Once you can except this human trite and trait…life gets SO MUCH EASIER! So many are rapped up in their own head they have no feelings for anyone else. I am old enough to really know this. At 72 I thought everyone was interested in everyone else, People cared about each other, people wanted to know me, my life, my children…but it was not real. As our social media addictions, fake news, Hollywood, Politicians and YOLO attitudes thrive…our individual loneliness deepens. Many barely give others (me) any thought other than some curiosity. Years ago I asked someone for advice, I thought she was a good friend, She almost yelled, “You think you are so important? So What? I have my own life to think about”. Even my adult children think like that! I almost fainted but it was clear…PEOPLE ONLY THINK ABOUT THEMSELVES!
        SO, you have a life and there are so many connections and issues in our world YOU can HELP WITH! Our environment, our disappearing animals, our beaches, our world AND IT DOES NOT have to be trying to get people to pay attention to you or care! Screw them! Get out of your head and get into your individual ability to help our world! Being clean and sober and the suicide project readings got me to get out of my pity party and stop feeling sorry for myself….it hurt, it was hard, it pissed me off… but it is working.

    • Palma

      Hello Andrew,

      I totally understand what you mean. I go through it too. I got myself this unreal world that I go to when my real life is low. In that world, I’ve got lots of friends who always want to see me and talk and I even have a boyfriend that’s serious about us. Most times I change the story in my head just to make me feel better and stop crying. It’s gotten to a point I actually tell people in real life I have a Dutch boyfriend as in my unreal life just not to seem like such a loser especially among peers

      • Andrew

        Hi Palma,

        I created the original comment in late January. Dunno if you will see my reply, but the unreal world that you go to intrigues me as someone who has imaginary friends of his own. They began coming into my life in 2006; I’ve done a blog post all about it. I also visit virtual realities through video games, right now I’m viewing Ocarina of Time. It sounds to me like what your peers think matters a lot to you. I’ve felt like a loser sometimes over not having a girlfriend, but I wouldn’t start dating just so I could say to peers that I have a girlfriend. I envision being in love with a lady who is in love with me and is serious about US, not so much what other people think. I always think of that and did a blog about it too, I can relate there. Actual friends love you for you, they don’t even think about calling you a loser. I’m not still talking to anyone who would call me that, and I have no clue where they are now. No one in this comment section is a loser. In fact everyone here is pretty cool to me, to see others expressing how they’re sick of feeling all alone is encouraging in a way. I don’t think anyone who is aware they feel like this and is openly expressing it will have to deal with it for too much longer.

  • olga

    Ok so i’m 15 years old and i feel horrible . I feel unwanted and abandoned . I am a very good student and now that i’m at high school and things got more difficult people seem think that i’ve fallen but the truth is i haven’t and i’m trying my best but no one cares about it . I have 7 friends we’re close and lately i feel unwanted . When i asked them what was wrong they said that i’m distracted and that i don’t care about them . This is the most painful thing anyone has ever said to me . I look like a very strong person and i don’t share my feelings but inside i feel everything , everything they say everything they do has an impact on me . I care about them very much and i’m trying every day to offer them what they need by a friend and they say that i don’t care . I have tried so many times to be a part of this but it seems like i will never be accepted , i will never be loved and no one will ever care about me , no one cares i’m dead or alive ,if i’m really okay ,if i have a problem or something . I just stand there trying not to be annoying saying only a few words cause every time i’m trying so talk and tell them something about me someone interrupts me and .. i. imagine you can understand the rest of it . anyway , i don’t know what to do . I don’t know if all these are true or are just in my head. Our society here is very close and i don’t have the chance to make new friends . Everyone knows everyone and i guess i’m stuck with them till i graduate high school.

    • ConfusedDino

      I really hope you start feeling better. It’s hard to show you care sometimes. Keep trying. I wish you the best of luck. You’re not alone. Stay strong.

  • Jen

    I feel so sad and lonely . Abandoned by parents and two husbands in the cruelest way with no one to help. Five children and youngest one left home on sixteenth Birthday and said I couldn’t stop her. Just like her dad did and I never saw her for months . That was four years ago. Her dad walked out 12 years ago with no warning . I have never met anyone else. I have never drank or taken drugs . Try to lead a decent life . Read my bible . I am 55 and have tried so hard since I was a four year old girl who never had any real love. Don’t tell me to learn new stuff . I got a law degree four years ago. No one wants to give you a job over fifty . It’s true what’s Ecclesiastes says everything is pointless . Sure some of my kids care . They live away with lives if their own .

    • Barbara Smith

      Come on, Jen, get yourself together.

      I think Ecclesiastes also says somewhere that there is a time for everything. Those words were used in a pop song but I can’t remember which one. This sounds like a sad time for you but there may be better times to come.

      Doing a degree is an amazing achievement. But can you find other interests?

      Can you find a Bible reading class? Or another class that you are interested in? You might meet a man who has similar interests or, at the very least, have some nice female company. Joining groups is the best way I found of meeting people and not just men It is important to get out and meet people, no one will come knocking at the door.

      I find Louise Hay’s morning and evening meditation very good to listen to. Also her mirror work.

    • cate

      Hi Jen,

      I’m 59. Two adult children and I understand how you feel. You know what helps me? I have a membership at a fitness center. I go without worrying about losing weight or getting in great shape. I just go to relax and let off some steam. It always helps. I just hang out there for about 45 minutes to 1 hour about 4 times a week. I use the treadmill and walk or run a mile. They have a pool and saunas as well if you are into that.
      It really helps mentally. You know, the Bible just doesn’t help every single time.

      • jenny saxton

        Hi Cate
        Thanks for taking the trouble to reply , yes you are right about health club or similar . I know once the longer days are here I will feel better as able to go out for walks . I am blessed to have the mountains and sea on my doorstep 😊 take care and be happy x

    • ConfusedDino

      I’m sure your kids care more than you think…and you’ve never drank or done drugs. And you have faith it seems…which is very good. I’m an addict, with no faith…that doesn’t matter…but I hope that things get better for you. You seem nice. Plus you stayed away from 2 big addictions(which is a big deal!). Don’t give up. Sorry, I’m lame

  • Renee

    I feel unwanted. I feel rejected. I feel like the punch line to a bad joke. I feel like whatever I do just does not matter…it has no meaning. I don’t like this feeling. It’s like being trapped in mud. It’s dark, cold and dirty. Not to mention scary. I feel like a dream that never came true. Its like a trail of thought that someone never finished. It’s like waiting three years for someone to notice you. It’s the inspiration that came and went. It’s the unfinished piano lessons you had as a kid. Its all the sad songs put together. It’s a cry in the dark. It’s very lonely. I feel unloved. I feel broken and used. I feel like the night sky. So far away. I’m up while everyone else is sleeping. I admire from the background. At least I have that right? And I don’t have to make a sound.

    • Barbara Smith

      Dear Renee,

      When you are in a flat low state I find it helps to plan out your day either mentally or on paper. Just make a rough plan of the day and then just do one thing on that plan, just one thing to achieve today. It will get you more in control.

      One step is a start. Will you write it up and let me know how you get on?


      Barbara. xx

    • jenny saxton

      The words you write were heartfelt and sad . The way you conveyed your feelings through words was very beautiful . You are a lady who has a gift . I am sure you live literature and the arts . These things will be your saving grace because you still see the beauty all around . Some people never even take the time to notice . I hope when you look on here you see you are not alone and that you are loved.

  • Cece

    I am happy I found this. I am a mom of five ages 23-12 and have given my life to them. I feel alone in my marriage. I feel like no one values my presence. My husband doesn’t speak a lot to me as he says he has nothing to say. He makes plans to do things with others but not me.
    All I want is to feel valued. I pray that God will help me with this. I pray that my kids will someday see that I put them first. I never felt like my parents valued me and that if something better came up they would cancel plans with me. I never wanted my kids to feel what I felt. And now I still suffer. I also feel like I am the one who has to initiate activities with friends. I feel that if I didn’t initiate no one would notice my absence. This is such a hard place to be. If anyone has strategies on how to not feel this please share

    • barbara

      Hi there!

      You can love yourself, Cere. Look up Louise Hay’s mirror work. It sounds daft but it really works! Do it every day. You are worth something, believe me.

      I’m single, in my 60s and hate it when my married friends arrange to do something then dump me when their husband wants to do something suddenly. I really feel they should say “no, I’ve already arranged something”.

      I’m so lonely this week I’ve gone to a cheap hotel to find some warmth and music. It’s lifted my spirits just sitting in the lounge with other people. Try to find some new year atmosphere.

      Write again, if you want. I’ll look out for you. Mum’s are still people, can you find a class or group in the new year to join? Something you like e.g. walking or sewing or whatever? Buy yourself a present.

      Love Barbara

      • Carol A Weber

        Thank you so much for your comment. I wish you a great new year! I admire how you took control of your emotions and went to a hotel. Sounds like a wonderful thing to do. I’m also sad because my daughter who lives in a state many miles away is home for the holidays but has spoken to me only 10 times. She is an introvert but it still hurts. She leaves a room when I enter. She is 23 and I wish she would treat me differently but what can I do?

        Thanks again


      • Barbara Smith


        You could try asking her in a gentle way if there’s anything she wants to talk about. Try not to be aggressive or make it sound critical. Take an interest in her life. Young people sound confident but they are only just starting out in life while you have probably got a nice home and are established, even if you are not very happy.

        Or maybe arrange to meet up at the shops together, have a coffee and a wander round the shops. It’s easier than sitting at home sometimes.

        Do check out Louise Hay’s mirror work.

  • Romona

    Laurie, thank you for your support and kind words. I am fortunate to have found a very supportive church family and I am blessed to be there. I am deciding on different ways to fill my sudden blessing of spare time. I may join a swim class at the Y. I am also giving thought to getting a pet to spend time with…. Maybe a cat due to my work schedule. I also am thinking about starting a business at home on my computer. I am currently praying and talking to God about some of my ideas. We will see which direction He leads me to. I am always looking for solutions to situations. I am not able to live in sorrow for prolonged periods of time….my personality is too optometistic for that. But it is always good to make new friends and know someone understands. So, once again, thank you for your response.

    • Barbara Smith

      Happy Christmas, everyone.

      Keep going, Romona.

      I think the best thing to do about your grandson is to keep in good communication without being too over the top. I believe you have a right to see him and he you.

      Maybe things will settle down in a few months and your ex daughter-in-law might be more reasonable. Just keep in good touch and maybe try to talk to her a bit later on.

  • Laurie Post author

    It’s so difficult when your family isn’t part of your life, or when they’re withdrawing. Especially during the holiday season, when it’s supposed to be about togetherness, love, and families!

    Romona, I can’t imagine how hard it is to lose a son and then have limited contact with your grandson. My heart goes out to you. Trust God, that this is a season in your grandson’s life. It will pass. Their new family relationships will settle in, and you’ll be included again.

    Don’t lose hope. Know that you will get through this difficult and painful part of your life. And, most importantly, hold on to your faith! Find friends and companions who are strong believers, who are filled with joy and peace. You may not have the family you want, but you can be part of a family of friends who share your beliefs and values. You can have love, joy, and peace in your life — even if it’s not with the people you expected.

    Are you part of a church? What do you think about getting involved in a faith community?

  • Romona

    Where to begin….. My son passed away 4 years ago. I now have a new step dad for my grandson. I have been extra supportive of the new family (new baby boy too). Now all of a sudden my 8 year old grandson is no longer allowed to spend the night at my house cause his therapist says he needs to bond with his new family and learn to appreciate the rules at his house. I have been invited over on occasion. But I feel as if I am being forced to deal with home/pet issues that I don’t enjoy. I just miss my grandson as we were very close. I feel like I am being distanced because of the strong bond we have. He’s not old enough to drive and doesn’t have a phone he can use. I never talk to him anymore and feel like it’s bad judgment to weaken our relationship. I feel all alone without him cause he’s all I have left.

  • Julietta

    Hi Everyone….
    I’m in the same boat…. Recently I came to full realisation that my father never really loved me, but he loves my wicked stepmother. He was never on my side. My mother passed away when I was little. Because of family situation I went through terrible pain over the years and loneliness. I was very low for a long time. It’s not very nice to experience over and over again that your only parent doesn’t care.

    BUT….dear friends…I found the answer to my pain and I want to share it with you, maybe it will help somebody. Don’t focus on people who hurt you and don’t care. They are not worth it. I’d say, even cut them out.

    The answer to your pain and loneliness is SELF- LOVE. Big fluffy warm SELF LOVE…. practise it and you’ll start to feel better. Become your own best friend and supporter….Look after yourself really well, and put yourself first! Do nice things for yourself all the time. It works, you’ll see. It’s a Journey.

    Take care everyone! Blessings

  • Nita

    It was good reading your inspirational newsletter ..
    Im an Islander living in NZ
    I recently went back with my ex(Liam) to give a third go of the relationship but I’m ending up with the same results where it feels like he doesn’t care about me like he use too. I have tried everything but nothing isn’t good enough for him. He always tries to compare my accomplishments towards his sisters which I found annoying because we all have different things in life. He fancy his lil sister more me then me and he trust her words over mines and its makes me feel like she is controlling him to say or do things for her enjoyment :(. I feel I have lost the battle of losing his heart to someone else long ago before I came I into his life. Its feels like he only uses me for food,money & sex. I try not to think about harming myself most of the time but these days because there is no one to talk to or to relate too about the issues i have.:( 🙁 🙁

    I wish I could say this to my family but they don’t care because they only use me for my money since I’m the only with a stable job . I don’t have that much friends like I use because they rejected me because I went to back to my ex.

    But the end of the day my Job keeps me motivated and hopefully tomorrow I will feel better looking forward to a brand new day but maybe take on your advise to move on and leave my toxic relationship.
    Your newsletter was very inspirational and it made feel sad and CRY alot but at the same time it made me understand that I’m not alone in this battle of stress and depression,I will follow your articles thru out
    Thank you so much .. I really appreciated it..

  • karen

    It was very nice to stumble upon your newsletter! I recently moved to a new state and am alone and EXTREMELY lonely and homesick. All I can think about is getting back home…and how I made a HUGE mistake moving here! I have no support system except for a sister in California (we talk every day on the phone) and a couple of good friends from back home. I AM trying to reach out (recently started going to Church) but it is very difficult for me as I really DO feel that nobody cares about me and I don’t know anyone here…and they just seem so different from where I come from. I also suffer from depression and that and the extreme loneliness feed off each other to the point where many days I just lay around and cry my eyes out. I live with my 2 “furry children” (dogs) and they are basically the reason I’m still here. I could never abandon them. They give me unconditional love and companionship…and for that I am grateful. Loneliness is indeed a horrible thing and I AM trying to get to happier place in my life…hopefully soon as I have felt this way for quite some time now and it’s exhausting…not to mention very bad for your health! Sometimes I really do wonder why God allows so much suffering in the world…and why we can’t just “fulfill our purpose” without going through so much PAIN…seriously! But thanks for the articles and will check back on a regular basis. On some level, it’s kind of comforting to know I’m not alone at being lonely.

  • Joanne

    Alone, unwanted & no one cares, I have felt like this for a long time and drowned my feelings with binge drinking. Temporary online connections kept me distracted, I always pretend to be fine & happy in hopes to run into someone that would truly care, Every time I think I found that special one, turns out they just talked to me for the wrong reasons. There is no one I can talk to at all, no friends or family members anywhere near me, at work there’s just small talk which doesn’t help much. I am a good caring person, but seem to always care about the wrong ones, those that will take advantage of you. I’m scared to open up to anyone which makes things worse. It’s good to see that I’m not the only one that feels alone and unwanted, I am not sure on what to do, keep trying or just leave everyone alone ….

    • sarah

      It’s so hard isn’t it, everyone you find is doing so well and has loads of friends and busy lives,there are so many lonely people but you can’t seem to find them and feel a burden of just stupid trying to explain your silly problems…

      • Helen Bannister

        So so True , where is everybody , so many lonely people out there but we never find each other 😪, I just don’t understand it ? I feel such a failure !!! I have nobody , I wish some body would adopt me into there family 💔

  • Debbie F

    I feel alone on my days off even though I look forward to them. Both my cats passed away recently and I miss them so much. My spare time was spent cuddling with them, just being with them and the love we had.

    • Joanne

      Hi Debbie, once the time is right, go to your local shelter & save a life, I know your special new furry friend is already waiting for you.