Feeling lost and unwanted – like no one cares about you – is much more common than you realize. You feel abandoned and rejected, and you are not alone in those feelings. Everyone struggles with feelings of loneliness and hopelessness! It’s just that some people hide it better than others.
When you feel like nobody in the world cares about you, remember that you are not alone. Your feelings are a normal part of being being human. God created us with a longing in our hearts, and that longing isn’t fulfilled by Facebook, movies, or even other people.
Below are seven things to remember when you feel like no one cares about you. You, me, we all were created with a longing in our hearts – a yearning for deep connection, true meaning, and sincere love in our lives. The feeling that something is missing and nobody cares is a simply part of being a healthy human being. Everyone feels this way at some point in their lives. It hurts, it sucks, I hate it…but it’s part of being alive.
Some of us feel like alone and like nobody cares most of the time – and this is partly what depression feels like (depending on the cause of the depressed feelings).
Your “lost and alone” feelings are actually a good thing, believe it or not! It means you’re in touch with your authentic self. You’re alive and real, self-aware and insightful. You’re not stuffing your feelings down or hiding behind walls. You’re actually allowing yourself to be real. It hurts, but being real is the best way to live.
I know it hurts, because I’ve felt the stinging pain of rejection and the lonely ache of abandonment. I can’t change how you feel – nobody can – but I will give you seven things to remember when you feel deeply lonely and alone.
7 Things to Remember When No One Cares
“My husband passed away five months ago and we have three kids,” says Christie on How to Adjust to Being Alone. “One is in second year of college and the two are in junior high school. It’s different talking to my kids rather than my husband. He had a lot of things to share with me, he was a very informative person and knew alot about business, general events, politics and new technology. Now I feel very lonely and sad. We used to talk before bed, share laughter and discussion.”
She adds that she doesn’t know how to move on without thinking about him all the time. “I am still crying but I’m hoping I will be back to normal life again,” she says.
1. You won’t always feel this alone and unloved
If you’re feeling unwanted and lonely because you lost someone you love, then you need to create a new “normal life” for yourself.
If you’re depressed because of a breakup, then you need to rebuild a new life that is more fulfilling and interesting than the one you left behind. If you’re devastated because you were rejected and you really do believe no one cares about you, then you need to take a deep breath and remind yourself of what is true, good, and pure.
Want to Blossom?
This is work only you can do. What was your old life like? It’s time to let it go. What will the new normal in your life be? You can do this – you can recreate your life. And it may be even brighter and more beautiful than you can imagine.
2. You matter more than you know – so don’t believe the lies
Last night I was at a friend’s for dinner, and I told her that I want to move to a new city. Vancouver is beautiful, but it’s crowded and expensive and busy. I want to live more simply and quietly. My friend told me that I don’t know how much I’ll be missed by my friends and community here. I waved her away, saying that I actually haven’t connected with many people at all. She disagreed. She said I really don’t have a clue about how much I matter.
It’s the same for you: you matter more than you think. Maybe right now you feel unwanted and like no one cares about you, but deep down you know that there is at least one person in the world who cares about you!
Don’t believe the lies you hear that you’re not good enough, lovable, or valuable. Instead, believe in the love of God who created you and loves you more than you’ll ever know. When you feel like no one cares, simply look up. Take a deep breath. Open your heart and spirit to receive the love, power, and grace of Jesus. He is here right now, and He has never left you. Nor will He ever leave you! Soak up God’s love, for it is deep, eternal, and constantly available to you.
3. You’re feeling alone for a reason
The reason you’re struggling with feeling unwanted is because you’re actually tuning in to how you really think and feel. This is painful – but it is the best way to live! It’s the path to God, and to true fulfillment.
When you tell yourself “no one cares about me”, you’re being brave and strong enough to face your true feelings. Do you know how rare this is? Most of us distract ourselves from feeling unwanted and alone by surfing the internet, spending money, making money, doing drugs, seeking adrenalin rushes. Some of us don’t notice our feelings of being lonely because we’re caught up in our families, parenting, jobs, responsibilities, and relationships. But eventually the distraction is taken away, such as with a breakup or death of a loved one, which I talk about in Words of Comfort When Your Heart is Broken.
4. You are close to the truth – and your truest, deepest, most real self
I love that you’re here! You searched the internet because you feel like no one cares. You were drawn to the idea that “Nobody Cares About Me” because you need to reach out – and you’re honest about how you feel. This is good, even though it may not feel great right now.
Something is calling you. Do you perceive it? You are feeling unwanted and you are acting on those feelings because you have a purpose on this earth. You were put here for a reason, and these feelings that no one cares will help you find your purpose. This is happening for a reason. You found “She Blossoms” for a reason. This isn’t just about feeling unwanted and like no one cares about you…this is part of a deeper, more important calling on your life.
Your job is to keep listening for that still small voice. To do that, you need to take time alone. “The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.” – Anne Frank.
5. You will get through this and be happy again
It’s lonely and sad to feel like no one cares about you. It hurts.
Even though I’m an optimist and I always look on the bright side without even trying, I know what it feels like to be alone in this world. It’s a gray, empty, sad feeling. I’m almost always happy, but even I have to admit that it’s terrible to feel unwanted, lost, and alone. I know how it feels: I spent my childhood moving in and out of foster homes. My mom is schizophrenic, my sister doesn’t want to have anything to do with me, and my dad lives in Israel. I didn’t even meet him until I was 27 years old.
Even Happy Positive Cheerful Energetic Me knows that these feelings are heavy, gray, and suffocating. One of the best ways to cope when you feel like no one cares is to remember that these feelings will pass. You will keep going even though you want to give up, and you will feel happy again.
6. You’ll feel better if you write about how you feel
Better out than in, is what I always say! Don’t suppress your feelings. It’s not fair – and it’s devastating – that you have to cope with the shadowy side of being human.
But you will make it worse if keep your emotions bottled up. Don’t swallow your feelings of being unwanted. Don’t hide the truth. Be honest with someone you trust when you feel like no one cares. And, LISTEN to the response you get. I bet you’ll hear people say they know how you feel, they feel the same way…and they love you.
But, don’t expect people to fill the hole in your heart and soul. Only God – through the love of Jesus – can do that. He created you, and He knows what you need. Nothing and no one else can care about you the way God does. Not relationships, parents, partners, food, sex, shopping, drugs, Facebook, or even Blossom newsletters can replace what only God can give you.
7. You can gain strength from an ancient source of wisdom
On 10 Ways to Figure Out What to Do With Your Life, I shared in the comments section that when I feel unwanted and like no one cares about me, I turn to Ecclesiastes in the Bible. There’s something comforting in the wise writer’s words, even though they’re full of pain and loneliness! Maybe that’s why it helps me. The writer – King Solomon – shares how meaningless life is, how lonely, sad, and alone he feels. He says nothing makes him happy, not money or wine or even wisdom. He ends by saying that the only solution is to fear God and obey His commandments.
Why that makes me feel better, I don’t know…I guess it’s because it helps me see that we’re all suffering, we all go through bouts of loneliness and meaninglessness…even people who lived more than 2,000 years felt the lostness and unhappiness we feel. It’s just part of being alive.
Let Go of the Past
I wrote How to Let Go of Someone You Love: Powerful Secrets and Practical for Healing Your Heart to help readers cope with a breakup, divorce, or other loss of a loved one.
If you feel like no one cares about you, you may be holding on to a love that’s over. The pain of breaking up affects every part of your life: your daily routine, work, family relationships, friends, hopes and dreams for your future, and even your financial plans.
It’s time to let go of your belief that nobody cares about you, and that you’ll always be alone. It’s time to pick up the handle of faith, hope, and healing…and to start moving forward into a new season of your life.
Find God in the Waves
In Finding God in the Waves- How I Lost My Faith and Found It Again Through Science, Mike McHargue describes the pain of unraveling belief. He tells the story of how his Evangelical faith dissolved into atheism when he studied the Bible.
His crisis of faith threatened his identity, his friendships, and even his marriage. Years later, Mike was standing on the shores of the Pacific Ocean when a bewildering, seemingly mystical moment motivated him to take another look. But this time, it wasn’t theology or scripture that led him back to God—it was science.
Write about how unwanted and alone you feel – you may find yourself feeling lighter and less lonely. Write about how it feels like nobody cares, here in the comments section or in your private journal. If you’re not into journaling, you might write a poem, draw a picture, create a collage, paint a wall. Share your thoughts. See what happens.
I encourage you to respond to other readers’ comments below if you feel led, and to share your experience. Writing often brings clarity and insight, and can help you cope with your feelings.
Need marriage help? Get free relationship advice from Marriage Coach Mort Fertel.
Want to Blossom into who God created you to be? Sign up for my free weekly "Blossom Tips" email!