You’ll find two parts to this article: 1) how finding God will change your life; and 2) 10 practical tips for changing your life from a successful businesswoman who has made millions of dollars helping women change their lives. I love to include both spiritual and practical tips in my writing, because that’s who I am – and that’s what Blossoming is all about!
I was inspired to write this article by a reader who commented on my post about loving yourself. “How can God help me love myself?” asks Nan on How to Love Yourself When You Don’t Feel Good Enough. “What will He do to make me feel that I’m significant, when many people failed to see it? Finding God and changing my life doesn’t seem possible for me…” Below, I share how finding God has changed my life – and how He can change yours, too.
One of the amazing things about God is that He has a different relationship with every one of us. He makes me feel significant in specific ways – which I’ll share below – but that doesn’t mean He will show up in your life the same way.
Be open to finding God in different ways in your life. Different than you’ve experienced Him in the past, different that I experience Him now, and different than you expect! Even thought He knows you want to change your life because He put the desire in your heart, the very act of writing or saying out loud, “God, I want to change my life” will make a difference. Not to Him, but to you.
Father God, bless this blog post. May I be a reflection of Your glory and love, Your power and freedom. Shine through me, speak to this reader You created and brought here. Bless us with Your presence, Jesus and Holy Spirit. Amen.
Finding God and Changing Your Life
Tapping into the awesomeness of finding God will answer your “how do I change my life?” question once and for all. You will Blossom, you will grow into a life you love, you will be happier and healthier than you’ve ever been…you will find God and change your life forever.
Here’s the rest of Nan’s comment: “If you don’t mind me asking, how does God love you? I feel the individuals in my life haven’t displayed love in a way that I’m receptive to it. How can God help me feel good about myself? I’m not asking in a condescending manner, but out of curiosity. Does God treat all His children the same? Do all of His children experience the same amount of love through their darkest moments? What is love to you? Is it possible to love yourself and love others, and be content with that?”
Awesome questions – and I have the answers! But all I can do is share my experience of finding God and healing my broken heart – and I’m grateful that Nan asked about how God loves me. He loves you as much as He loves me, but we experience His love and presence differently. I can’t tell you how He is showing up in your life, but I can share how finding God has changed my life forever…
How can God help you love yourself?
I’m taking a 12 week Genesis Recovery Process course through my church, and it’s been painful. Last week I felt insecure and uncomfortable in the group, like I was disrupting their process. I tend to be encouraging and positive, and part of the Genesis group mandate is to be neutral. Don’t offer feedback – positive or negative. Simply allow people to speak. Give them space, accept where they’re at, and love them regardless of what you think or how you feel about them.
So when the group leader made a specific point of reminding us of how we’re expected to participate in the meetings, I felt condemned and insecure. She didn’t say anything about me (and I don’t even know if she was referring to me!), but I felt terrible about myself. Guilty and ashamed.
Want to Blossom?
God can help you love yourself by showing you who you are in His eyes. I brought all this to Him the next day, in my morning prayer journal writing time. I told Him how unloved and condemned I felt by my own self (not by the group leader!)…and this is what He told me: “How people respond to you isn’t your business. You are my child, wholly and deeply loved, and I created you to be enthusiastic and positive! I created you to be exactly who you are. Do not get your self-worth from other people’s words or behavior. Focus on me, and I will show you who you are.”
How do you absorb God’s love for you?
Finding God is the first step to changing your life. When you find God and spend time with Him, you feel His love, grace, healing, and power in your spirit! Your spirit connects with His spirit. His love infuses every cell in your body. His healing power flows through you, saturating your mind, soul, and body with more energy and light than you could possibly create on your own.
I’ve been finding God every morning – and more and more throughout the day – by listening to 20 minute podcasts. I walk around my neighborhood at 5:30 in the morning, listening to Joyce Meyer’s teachings or Tim Keller’s sermons. After 20 minutes, I turn off the podcast and talk to God. Actually – I LISTEN for God’s voice. I try not to talk, I try to hear what He is saying.
And it works.
If you’re grieving a difficult loss and you feel disconnected from finding God, read Words of Comfort When Your Heart is Broken.
What does God do to make you feel significant, when people make you feel worthless?
I remind myself that how people respond to me and what they think of me isn’t my business. It’s really hard to just “not care” what people think, though! I actually don’t think it’s possible for me to simply say “I don’t care what people think.” I wish it was true and I try to work towards not finding my value in other people’s opinions, but it is difficult.
The best way to feel significant and loved is to shift your thoughts from other people’s opinions to God’s perspective of you. Whenever you feel judged (even if it’s just your own judgments and self-criticisms), remind yourself of who you are in His eyes. Yes, this requires finding God and holding on to Him. And yes, this will change your life forever! It’s a process that takes time…and boy, is it worth it.
How does God love you?
God loves me by blessing me with a fresh new morning. He loves me by giving me breath, a heart that beats, eyes that see, ears that hear, and legs that walk (though I tripped in the forest yesterday and slammed my knee on a rock! So I’m actually limping quite badly, and very sore today).
I find God in my delicious lunch of homemade salsa and rice crackers, my hot morning coffee with lots of cream and sugar, my evening glass of wine (or rum and coke, yum). I find God in my dog’s eyes, my cat’s furry smell, my husband’s laugh. Finding God has always been easy for me – I see Him in my Slurpees, my car every time it starts, my healthy morning poop!
God loves me by giving me not just my life, but His presence. I’m learning how to seek Him and spend time with Him – and not just to ask Him for healing for my knee or my dog’s bad tummy problems. I am finding God at random moments of the day, when I just stop and center myself. I ask His Holy Spirit to come, to infuse my soul, and to fill me with light, laughter, and His love. I ask Him to change my life – and I know that finding God is changing how I live.
Does God treat all His children the same?
Would you want to be treated the same as everyone else? I wouldn’t! I don’t want to be a speaker like Joyce Meyer or a famous writer like Elizabeth Gilbert. I just want God to treat me like little Laurie, His beloved child.
Do you want God to treat you the same as He treats His other children? That’s cool if you do – and I’d love to hear how you want to be treated by Him. Do you want more blessings, healing, power, or love? Maybe you need forgiveness. Maybe you want to forgive yourself, or others. Finding God will change your life in those practical ways. Finding Him will free you and change your life!
If you’re in a relationship with someone who is struggling to find God, read What You Need to Know About Dating Outside Your Faith.
Do all of God’s children experience the same amount of love through their darkest moments?
We don’t experience the same amount of love anytime – dark or light moments, sad or happy times, big or little experiences. We feel God differently, and He speaks to us in different ways. The amazing thing about this is that finding God will help you find yourself – and vice versa! When you start to recognize how He shows Himself to you, you will not only be finding God…you’ll be finding yourself. And you and He will grow stronger, bonded by your experiences and memories.
What do you think of my tips on how to find God and change your life forever? Please feel free to share your big or little, positive or negative, thoughts below. While I can’t offer advice, I do read every comment.
10 Practical Tips for Changing Your Life
Tackling the “how to change my life” question involves finding God…AND it involves us taking specific steps that help us grow. That’s another thing I love about God: He requires us to take action and actually do things! We can’t just sit back and expect Him to do all the work. The beauty of this is that it gives us self-esteem and self-confidence, and it deepens our relationship with Him.
So, whether you want financial security, a better marriage, or a healthy body – these steps will help you move forward. They were inspired by Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics and one of the most successful businesswomen in America.
“Don’t limit yourself,” says Mary Kay. “Many women limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.” I would add that your dreams for yourself are nothing compared to God’s dreams for you. That’s why finding God is essential to changing your life: He is way ahead of you, and He wants you to have more than you could ever conceive of.
What you think you can do — what you focus on — will become reality. You don’t need special equipment or a lot of money to succeed in life…but you do need some basic tools. You need to learn how to love yourself when you don’t feel good enough.
1. Figure out what’s holding you back
Maybe you’re depressed because of a business failure, health issue, financial problem, or relationship breakup. Or, maybe you can’t seem to improve your self-confidence or maintain a happy, positive mood. Maybe you struggle with the whole concept of “how to find God” and your faith…and maybe you believe that learning how to change your life is useless and pointless.
One of the most practical tips for changing your life is identifying what is holding you back. Don’t blame lack of money or your family. Don’t sidestep your responsibility or the decisions you made in the past. Just objectively identify what the obstacles are.
2. Be openminded about the solutions – take a step back
Whatever your problem or obstacle is, remember that there are ways to get from here to there!
Hold on to your hope and faith that you can change your life. Different problems have different solutions, but there are some general rules for getting unstuck. For example, don’t focus on what you lack (eg, someone to love, or a business of your own). Instead, focus on what you want more of in your life (love, success, money, acceptance, freedom).
Be specific about what you want, and try not to get caught up in negative or critical emotions. Take a step back and look at your life objectively, from a stranger’s perspective. A smart stranger. Allow yourself to believe that changing your life is possible – just like finding God is possible.
3. Look for the possibilities in your problems
In Outliers: The Story of Success, Malcolm Gladwell writes, “Sometimes constraints actually create success. Not being able to swim made me run. And running taught me the discipline I needed as a writer.”
God is doing a new thing in your life. Look, do you not perceive it? That’s why you’re here, that’s why you’re searching for ways to find God and tips on changing your life. The problems you’re encountering are here for a reason. What are you learning from the obstacles in your life? Are your problems — job stress, relationship breakups — leading you in an unexpected direction? The sooner you accept the lessons God is teaching you, the faster you’ll overcome your obstacles and change your life.
4. Work with your strengths and advantages
I’m a big fan of “to do” lists and I love checking off each task when I accomplish it. Being organized and disciplined is one of my personal advantages, and I use it to make my Blossom blogs and business successful.
For instance, one of my professional goals is to consistently earn $120,000 a year as a blogger. Part of achieving that goal involves writing two blog posts a day. To stay motivated to write every day, I make a list of the blog posts I need to write at the beginning of each week…and the satisfaction of checking off those “articles to write” makes me feel happy and motivated enough to do it again and again and again.
What are your strengths or personal advantages? Tell me in the comments section below. Tell me how you could put them to work for you, and how they might change your life. Is finding God one of your strengths?
5. Ask for help moving forward in life
Changing your life may involve people who can help you stretch and grow. People are here to help you, here in your life and community and school and work. So, what do you need to do to get unstuck? Ask your family, friends, and colleagues for help. Do you need financial advice? Time? Resources? Motivation? Support? Be specific about what you need, identify who can help you, and be clear about what you’d like them to do.
Mary Kay Ash says, “Honesty is the cornerstone of all success, without which confidence and ability to perform shall cease to exist.” Be honest about what you need. If a past relationship is holding you back, read How to Stop Thinking About Your Ex and Move On With Your Life.
6. Surround yourself with healthy people
You absorb the traits and qualities of the people you spend time with. That’s why it’s so important to spend time with God every day! So…who do you admire? Which family member, friend, or colleague is in the position you’d like to be in? To soak up the habits of emotionally, spiritually, physically, and professionally healthy and successful women, spend time with them. Their attitudes, values, habits, and thoughts will rub off on you.
Stay away from people who hold you back or aren’t supportive. Don’t let their negativity destroy your dreams or pull you away from God. Stick with people who are learning how to find God and who actually want to change their lives for the better.
7. Focus on one step at a time
Prioritize two things in your life:
- Finding God because He will lead you to a better life than you could ever imagine.
- Changing one thing in your life right now. For example, if your number one professional goal is to start your own homebased business, then don’t move towards a competing goal. You can’t put all your energy towards working from home while you’re planning a vacation that involves traveling around the world for a year, right?
When you’re changing your life, move forward in one direction. Making “finding God” part of that single direction an purpose. Be specific about the changes you want to make in your life and how you can start making those changes.
8. Prepare to do the work
If it was easy, everyone would do it! If writing books was easy, we’d all be authors. If making a billion dollars a year was easy, we’d all be billionaires.
Bill Gates programmed computers at university for 10,000 hours before he started his own company. Gates is one of the most successful entrepreneurs in recent history (perhaps of all time) — but he spent 10,000 hours practicing before he took the leap! That’s 416 days of working around the clock.
Whenever I want to change my life in some way, I always remind myself that I have work to do. I have to practice my craft or train myself someone, because I know that successful people simply put in more hours than anyone else. Even if they’ve found God, even if they’re finding God’s will for their lives every moment.
9. Stay connected to yourself
Why do you want to change your life? Who are you now, who are you becoming, where do you want to go? What is God’s vision for your life? How are you finding God’s will, who are you listening to?
Listen to that still small voice inside of you. Allow yourself to revise your goals or change direction. Seek that Heavenly flow that guides your and helps you move forward in life. Take your nose off the grindstone every so often…look around…and make sure you’re still on the right track. Let yourself make revisions and change your goals whenever you need.
10. Help other people move forward in their lives
When you encourage, educate, and connect with other people who want to change their lives, you increase your chances of success. You increase your own dedication, determination, and self-discipline. You feel good about yourself, which increases your motivation and gives you the self-confidence you need to move forward in life.
It feels great to help people move towards their dreams – especially if they’re interesting in finding God’s will for their own lives. Set aside your judgements or thoughts about what people “should” do with their time and lives, and just help them move forward. Encourage them to grow and learn and stretch upwards.
Help people Blossom!
If you don’t know what to change in your life, read 10 Ways to Know What to Do With Your Life.
What do you think of my practical tips on how to change your life? Again, I welcome your thoughts – but I don’t give advice. I encourage you to respond to other readers’ comments if you feel led, and to share your experience. Writing often brings clarity and insight, and can help you process your feelings about finding God and changing your life.
Need marriage help? Get free relationship advice from Marriage Coach Mort Fertel.
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