Accepting the truth about your relationship is easier if you have something bigger, better, and more beautiful to hold on to! Here’s how to accept the truth about your relationship, plus tips for moving forward in your life.
“I need to let him go, yet I can’t find the courage,” says Lee on How to Find Strength to Get Out of a Bad Relationship. “Our relationship is dead and I have to stop answering his texts and calls. I have to stop believing his lies and find my own happiness! He was recently diagnosed with depression and various addictions. It’s so painful, how do I turn my back on someone I love? I need to get it in my head that this isn’t love. How do I get him out of my head? How do I realize that it’s not love? How do I accept the truth about my relationship and walk away?”
Give yourself time to adjust to a painful reality. Facing the truth about your relationship or a loved one is a process, and it doesn’t happen overnight. Allow yourself time to grieve what you’re losing — or have lost. Say good-bye slowly, so your heart and head have time to get used to your new reality. But what do you do while you’re saying good-bye and giving yourself time to adjust? Here are a few ideas…
Learning how to accept the truth about your relationship or a new life stage is easier when you have faith. Not faith in yourself, or the universe, or your inner circle of friends. You’ll never find true peace or joy without a relationship with God! He’s bigger, better and stronger than you – and He’ll help you face the truth about anything.
Even so, it still hurts. No matter how much faith you have it’s never easy or fun to face the truth about someone you love or an important relationship in your life. But, if you hold on to Jesus, you’ll find surprising glimpses of peace and bursts of joy in unexpected places.
Accepting the Truth About Your Relationship
Last week I wrote 10 Reasons You Can’t Face the Truth About Your Relationship. If you haven’t figured out why you’re hiding from the truth, take time to do some self-exploration. This is important because if, for instance, you’re hiding from the truth because you’re scared to leave, you’ll need a different approach than if you’re hiding because you’re stubborn.
Knowing who you are and what you believe is the first step to facing the truth.
Why are you hiding from the truth?
List five reasons you don’t want to accept the truth about your relationship. It may take a few minutes, but it’s worth it because it’ll help you see what you’re avoiding. Are you hiding because you’re scared to be alone, or you’re worried about what people will think? Are you overly dependent on someone you love — or someone you don’t love but stay with out of habit?
The underlying reason for your reluctance to accept the truth about your relationship is fear of change. And this is normal! Change is painful and difficult. Even good, healthy change is hard to go through.
Give yourself time to adjust
Take a deep breath. You’re facing a new season of your life. It’s a major life change, and it’ll affect all your relationships. Give yourself time to consider how best to move forward.
Consider talking to a counselor, mentor, close friend, pastor, lawyer, or teacher. Talking through your options is a healthy, smart way to start accepting the truth about your relationship. Don’t talk to people you know will agree with you, or who have heard your problems before. Rather, talk to someone who is objective and trustworthy. Someone who isn’t involved in your life, who isn’t invested in any life changes you’re making.
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Talk to your partner
The problem with writing an article about accepting the truth about your relationship is that there are a billion different scenarios! I don’t know if it’s possible for you to talk to your loved one about your relationship — but that’s an important step.
Do you know how to ask for what you need in your relationship? Maybe you and your partner need to take time to work on your communication skills, your ability to give and take. Do you know how to tell your boyfriend or husband the truth about how you feel and what you think? If not, maybe you need to spend time figuring out what’s holding you back from being your true self with him.
Remember that talking to your partner — and accepting the truth about your relationship — doesn’t mean you need to leave him. It just means you’re ready to take your relationship to a healthier, happier stage. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
Know that the truth will set you free
When Jesus said “the truth will set you free” in John 8, He wasn’t talking about a relationship with your husband or boyfriend. He was talking about your relationship with Him, about accepting His love, grace, and forgiveness. Jesus’ truth sets you free by paving the way to a personal relationship with God. You could never have this relationship without Jesus, and you’ll never have a truly peaceful, joy-filled life without Him.
If you’re having trouble accepting the truth about a love relationship with your boyfriend or husband, start focusing on your relationship with Jesus. He will give you wisdom, clarity, insight and guidance. He will show you what you need to do — and He’ll help you face the truth about your life. He won’t let you down; He’ll walk with you through the sad times and dark storms. He’ll be your anchor, if you let Him.
What do you think? Can you accept the truth about your relationship? About the truth of who Jesus is and what He can do in your life?
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If you need relationship help, get Mort Fertel's 7 Steps to Fixing Your Marriage - and FREE advice, no strings attached.