Oh yes, you can! These tips for creating a wildly better life than the one you’re now living are limited by only one thing: the boundaries of your own imagination. Why? Because a better life begins and ends with you. Dare you Blossom?
I’m inspired to share my thoughts on how to create a better life by this reader’s comment: “I’ve been in a relationship for a year, and my partner texts other women, lies to me, and has abused me,” says Salendria on How to End a Relationship When You’re Scared to Be Alone. “I moved to another state to be with him, I have no family here, and no transportation to get things done. I’m scared to leave him. I have my own place. He lives with me. I feel trapped. When I get the courage to tell him to leave, he tells me no. I then end up giving him another chance after chance and nothing changes. Another man has offered to treat me right and has been waiting patiently for me. He knows I’m confused. But I just can’t seem to get the courage to leave my relationship. How do I create a better life?”
I don’t think there’s one single answer to Salendria’s question – or even one “best” piece of advice. She has trapped herself in a relationship that is unhealthy and even abusive, and she won’t free herself until she’s ready. All the wise answers and brilliant advice in the world won’t give her the courage she needs.
We tend to listen to ourselves, not to other people. That’s why we make mistakes instead of learning from other people’s mistakes, why we make bad choices instead of listening to people who’ve been there and done that.
I’m not an advice giver, but I’m happy to share what I know about creating a better life.
5 Ideas on How to Create a Better Life
- If you need courage to make a big change in your life, talk to someone wise who gives you strength.
- If you’ve already told people about your situation and yet nothing changes, be honest with yourself about why you’re choosing to stay stuck.
- If you chose to stay in your situation and not make any changes, stop complaining about it. Instead, choose to see and hold on to the good parts.
You have the power, brains, and ability to change your life – and to learn how to create a better life for yourself. You are strong and smart. And, you are braver than you think. You can do more than you know.
1. Be specific – what does a “better life” mean to you?
You can’t create a better life for yourself if you don’t know what you want. And, you can’t create a better life if you mindlessly adopt your parents’, friends’, or partner’s vision of what life should be.
You’re searching for tips on how to create a better life. That’s a great start! Now it’s time to figure out exactly what that means. Having a better life may not mean leaving a marriage or moving overseas or losing 125 pounds. Maybe having a better life is simply about changing your mindset, attitude, or belief system.
To me, a better life means making mistakes and taking time to heal, learn, and grow. A better life isn’t defined by a marriage, house, job, children, or appearance. I’ve never been happier in my whole life, and the number one reason is my relationship with God. I’ve allowed Him to start cracking open my shell and break down the walls that kept me scared, insecure, anxious, and self-hating. He is my only path to creating a better life, the only true and consistent source of peace, joy, love and freedom.
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2. Answer these questions to help you define a “better life”:
These questions will get you started. Note that creating a better life won’t happen overnight! You need to spend your time and invest your energy. You must stop and think – and you must trust your intuition.
- What do you love about your life right now? List 3 things – even the smallest, most insignificant things.
- How can you enhance those 3 things? Magnify them?
- What was the best experience you’ve had? What made that experience so awesome?
- Why do you want to create change in your life? Who is the change for, and what will it do for you?
Here are my answers: I love writing (I work full-time on my SheBlossoms blogs and newsletter), I love eating my healthy nutritious original meals that I creatively prepare, and I love reading and learning about God. I love God. I love the freedom He offers – the peace, joy, and love He gives. I love His son, Jesus Christ.
I can enhance those things simply by being grateful for them. I am thankful every day – and almost every moment – for how I spend my days. That’s a simple, easy secret for how to create a better life: hold on to the things you love, and be eternally and sincerely grateful for them.
The best experience I’ve ever had was moving to Africa. I shared a little bit about it in Moving to Africa? 10 Things You Need to Know. It was also the worst experience I’ve ever had! It was full of growth and learning, pain and depth. It wasn’t all exciting wildlife safaris and delicious fire-smoked chapatis…which is what made it the best experience I’ve ever had.
3. Don’t compare your version of “a better life” to mine
You don’t need to be a writer, an overseas explorer, or a lover of nutritious original recipes to create a better life for yourself!
Dodge the comparison trap. Avoid comparing yourself to other people. I know it’s hard because we are hardwired to compare ourselves…just be aware that we tend to compare ourselves to others.
“Soar, eat ether, see what has never been seen. Depart, be lost…but climb.” – Edna St. Vincent Millay. That’s my vision of a better life! But it may make absolutely no sense to you. And that’s okay.
Who are you? Who do you want to become?
4. Get over stuff – this is so important!!!
“Freedom” and “authenticity” are my two favorite words. I’ve searched for freedom and authenticity all my life, for as long as I can remember.
Finding true freedom and authenticity is how you will create a life that’s better for you. Part of being free and authentic is to get over the crap that’s happened to you. You’ve been hurt – and I really am sorry for that. Your heart has been bruised, broken, and maybe even stomped on. You’ve been rejected, ostracized, and even left for dead.
But you need to get over it. For your own sake, you need to heal your heart, mind, and soul – and your body. You can search for all the best tips in the world on “how to create a better life” but you’ll fail if you don’t deal with what happened to you.
5. Learn how to create a better life
Try different things until you find what works for you. There is no single path or answer to creating a life you love. You’ll never figure out what to do with your life unless you try different things, explore new routes, and say “yes” to adventures you’ve never had.
I always thought life was short, but I’m beginning to see life is long in many ways. I remember always wanting to go to Peru and I finally went there and I loved it! Peru is an amazing country to explore. But I’ve already been back from Peru for three years. I can’t believe it, it feels like so long ago.
What have you always wanted to do? Do it now. NOW. Start making plans. Stop thinking about how to create a better life, and start actually doing things.
What to Do Next
Give me your advice – tell me how to create a better life! If you had your own blog, what would you tell your readers about creating a more meaningful, fun, exciting life? Go back and re-read Salendria’s comment about her lack of courage and relationship. What advice would you give her about creating a better life for herself?
While I can’t offer advice for creating a better life, I do read every comment. I encourage you to respond to other readers’ comments if you feel led, and to share your experience and thoughts. Writing is the path to clarity, wisdom, and healing.
Share your thoughts below - you won't be judged or criticized! I read every comment, but can't always respond personally. If you need relationship help, get Mort Fertel's 7 Steps to Fixing Your Marriage - and FREE advice, no strings attached.
If you need relationship help, get Mort Fertel's 7 Steps to Fixing Your Marriage - and FREE advice, no strings attached.