Wouldn’t it be awesome to get relationship advice from God? Good news: it’s not as hard or unbelievable as you might think. These signs of Godly relationship advice will help you see your life and decisions more clearly.
When I wrote 5 Best Ways to Get Good Relationship Advice I didn’t mention the importance of recognizing the right person to ask for advice. You might be able to get all sorts of relationship advice from your mom, sister, best friend, coworker or even your pastor…but is it Godly counsel? And how do you know for sure?
God wants you to make smart, healthy decisions in your life. God wants you to thrive, flourish and blossom into who He created you to be. He didn’t put you here on earth to struggle alone. On the contrary, He created you to be interdependent and interactive, healthy and whole. And that involves knowing how to get Godly relationship advice.
When I was trying to decide if I should move to Africa for three years and teach missionaries’ kids, I wanted to get Godly advice. Who better to ask than the pastor of my church? Pastor Terry met with me, listened to my struggles and hopes for my future, and gave me this advice: “You will never regret trusting God and moving to Africa. This is a leap of faith that Jesus is calling you to take. He will catch you.”
So I moved to Africa. It was the hardest three years of my life! It was also the deepest, richest, most rewarding experience I’ve ever had. I knew in my heart of hearts that I wanted to take that leap of faith, but I needed to get Godly advice first.
Whether you’re following Jesus into a new season of life or rebuilding your relationship with God after a time of estrangement, it’s important to seek wise counsel. It’s even more important to ask for advice from believers who have a personal relationship with God.
How to Get Godly Relationship Advice
This blog post is part of my She Blossoms Through the Bible project; I’m writing an article for every chapter in each book of Scripture. Today we’re exploring Exodus 18. The theme of this post — how to get relationship advice from God — was clear before I even finished reading the chapter.
In Exodus 18 we meet Jethro (Moses’ father-in-law and the priest of Midian) for the second time. Jethro not only gave Moses Godly relationship and life advice, his own faith in Yahweh was strengthened.
1. Know who you’re getting advice from
Jethro was the priest of Midian, which means he knew Yahweh on some level. Jethro and Moses were related by marriage (Moses married his daughter, Zipporah). Moses was working for Jethro — tending his flock of sheep in the wilderness — when God called him to lead the Hebrews out of Egypt. Not only did Jethro and Moses know each other, they worked and lived together. Not only did Moses work for Jethro, he left the family business to follow God into Egypt. Did this lead to hard feelings? Evidently not. Exodus 18:6-11 tells us that Jethro visited Moses in the wilderness where he was camped at the mountain of God. Jethro sent advance word of his visit (a sign of respect); Moses went out to meet and embrace him (love, relationship, unity!). They asked each other how they had been, and celebrated what Yahweh did for the Hebrews in brining them out of Egypt. Jethro and Moses had a strong, loving, respectful relationship.
Who are you getting Godly relationship advice from? My biggest struggle with my She Blossoms blogs is when women tell me their relationship or marriage problems, then ask me for advice. I don’t know anything about their lives, situations, personalities, history — I know nothing about them! How can I give good, Godly relationship advice to people I don’t even know? I can’t. I’ve written several articles on how to get good relationship advice, and all my tips involve talking in person to someone who knows you and your situation. Get advice from someone who can ask you questions and learn more about you. Get relationship advice from someone you can pray, worship, and praise God with.
2. Expect to be asked difficult questions about your relationship
Exodus 18:14 tells us that Jethro asked Moses questions about how and why he was spending all day judging the Hebrews’ disputes. Not only did Jethro ask about Moses and his relationships, he spent the whole day observing Moses with the Hebrew people. Jethro didn’t just swoop in and start giving Moses relationship and life advice! Rather, he spent two days and one night with Moses. He watched Moses in his relationships. Jethro thought about what was happening with Moses and the Israelites. Before he gave advice, Jethro observed the situation and asked questions to ensure he knew what he was talking about.
How well does your “advice giver” know you and your relationship? You can say all you want about your boyfriend or husband, but the truth is revealed in your interactions as a couple. You’re only giving your one-sided perspective when you talk about your relationship. You’re only sharing what you want the advice giver to know if she isn’t able to ask hard questions — questions that make you uncomfortable, embarrassed, angry, or even ashamed. The best way to get good, Godly relationship advice is to share the truth as honestly as possible. That often involves the advice giver observing you and your partner for some time, and for your partner to be included in the conversation.
3. Learn how to include God in your relationships
Jethro was all about God. “Now listen to me,” he said to Moses in Exodus 18:19. “I will give you some advice, and God be with you.” Jethro’s advice was Godly because he invited God into the conversation. Jethro talked about God a lot in Exodus 18 (verses 9-12 were all about praising, worshipping, and sacrificing to Yahweh). The fact that Jethro was a priest was good — but that alone did not qualify him to give Godly advice! A person’s position or relationship with God doesn’t automatically mean they’re good or Godly advice givers. In Exodus 18:23 Jethro says, “If you do this, and God so directs you, you will be able to endure, and also all these people will be able to go home satisfied.”
How do you ask God for advice about your relationships? How much time do you spend listening for His response? If you’re serious about asking for “Godly relationship advice” then you must include God in your conversations. Go beyond prayers such as “Please God, tell or show me what to do in my marriage” or “Please help me know if I should end this relationship” or “Please God, help me stop making relationship mistakes!” Instead of searching for good advice, focus on strengthening your relationship with God. Get to know Jesus on a deeper level; peel back another layer of love, grace, compassion, and forgiveness. Read the Bible and see how God “gives advice” through His word. Look at Exodus 18!
God gives lots of good advice through Scripture, experiences, people, and the Holy Spirit’s nudges and whispers. It’s up to us to seek wise counsel and — when we find it — actually apply it to our lives.
What do you think about my advice on how to get Godly relationship advice? 🙂 Maybe you have some insight into Moses’ life, the book of Exodus, or seeking wise counsel. Your comments — big and little — are welcome below!
P.S. Are you struggling to make a decision or find the right path in your life? Read an Easy Way to Stop Overthinking God’s Will for Your Life.