Hope will get you through the lonely nights and dull days. Maybe you believe this – but how do you actually find and hold on to hope when you feel alone, lonely and abandoned?
The easy answer is to create healthy relationships, love, marriage and companionship. Those are good things, but they won’t erase your hopelessness and loneliness. Of course life would be empty and meaningless without our friends, family, and intimate relationships! But, it’s normal to feel alone and lonely even when you’re surrounded by people, friends, and loved ones. And it’s even more normal to feel the ache of loneliness when you’re surrounded by nothing by voices from the past.
A reader emailed me, asking for help coping with the loneliness of waiting for a relationship. She’s never been married and is in her late 30s. She doesn’t want to be single and alone anymore, and is losing hope for a new beginning. These tips are for her…and for you, too, if you want to learn how to hold on to hope when you feel lonely.
I received another email from a reader; she asked me to write more positive tips to help people cope with loneliness and hopelessness. She referred to a specific article — What to Remember When You Feel Like No One Cares — and said that people actually do care about you. They just may not know how to show it.
So, these tips for staying hopeful through the lonely, sad seasons of life are inspired by her. Thank you, dear readers, for your inspiration and encouragement! You help me Blossom 🙂
How to Hold on to Hope When You Feel Alone
“One day at a time — this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.” – Ida Scott Taylor.
What has led you to this state of hopelessness? Perhaps you’re looking back and living in the past. Maybe you feel troubled and hopeless about the future. You feel like you have nothing and nobody to cling to.
Here’s how to hold on to hope when you’re feeling lonely and alone…
1. Compare the possible truth to your thoughts
What if my reader is right? What if you are actually less alone than you feel, and more loved than you know? Maybe you feel lonely, alone and hopeless…but the reality is that you are surrounded by more love, companionship, and support than you can even imagine.
Maybe you’re not being honest, real or authentic with people. You’re hiding your loneliness and heartache, so they don’t know you need their love and compassion. You’re too proud to ask for company or help. You think they should come and give you the hope and love you need, but you refuse to reach out for it.
I bet you’re less alone than you think.
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2. Take a five minute break from your lonely thoughts
For five minutes, stop telling yourself that you are alone and lonely. Stop feeding those negative thoughts of hopelessness, heartsickness, and loneliness. Sometimes we fall into the trap of believing our own thoughts — and our thoughts can be misleading, confusing, and downright wrong. One excellent way to stop feeling lonely is to change how you think. Your thoughts of being “all alone” are causing feelings of hopelessness…but your thoughts might be wrong.
“Change how you think” is an idea you’ve probably already found when searching for tips on how to hold on to hope when you feel lonely and alone. Here’s my question: what happened when you actually tried it? How did you feel when you recognized your “I feel hopeless because I’m lonely and alone” thoughts, and focused on something else, instead?
Let me know in the comments section below; I’d love to hear how this thought-stopping technique worked for you. If you didn’t try it, why not?
3. Remember that you can feel lonely in a crowd or family
How depressing is that? Really depressing, if you ask me! I hate the thought that you can be healthy, happy and connected to a loving family, yet still need to learn how to hold on to hope. You may not even have a lonely life or live alone…yet, you still experience bouts of loneliness and hopelessness.
It’s not you, your relationships, or your life. Yes, you may be grieving the loss of someone you love. Maybe you’re recovering from a breakup or divorce, or adjusting to life after your husband died. But you felt lonely even in your relationship sometimes…it’s just that now you’re not distracted from your feelings. You’re experiencing both the loss and your loneliness, and it hurts.
The natural, normal human condition is to feel a sense of loneliness and hopelessness. You were created by God; He carved out a crater-sized space for Himself in your heart, soul and spirit. If you don’t fill that space with Him, you’ll struggle more often and more desperately with feelings of hopelessness, loneliness, and aloneness.
Sometimes, women think that holding on to hope means clinging to relationships. Love and marriage are wonderful parts of life, but they aren’t a permanent solution to feelings lonely, alone, or without hope for the future. You’ll see what I mean when you read the comments of Emotional Disconnection in Marriage – How to Feel Less Alone.
4. Take time to explore different ways to hold on to hope
There are no quick tips or easy solutions for holding on to hope when you’re feeling lonely and alone. This is because different things work for different people. I believe we all struggle with loneliness and hopelessness because we’re not who God intended us to be. Not yet, anyway. We’re growing and learning, we’re developing and even flourishing! But we’re not perfect in Jesus yet, and we won’t be until we meet Him face-to-face.
The solution? Take responsibility for your life. Be diligent and persistent about learning how to hold on to hope when you feel the ache of loneliness. Don’t sit and stew in the the grungy slump; instead, try different ways to add more hopefulness, joy and love into your life!
My best tip for holding on to hope when you’re struggling with loneliness is to say hello to Jesus. Rebuild your relationship with God. He’s called you here. He knows how lonely, hopeless and alone you feel. Jesus knows because He’s felt it worse — His disconnection from the Father was far worse than we’ll ever know.
What do you think about my ideas on how to hold on to hope when you feel alone and lonely? Your thoughts – big and little – are welcome below! Reach out, share how lonely you are. Tell me why you feel hopeless, and how you hold on to hope.
Laurie's "She Blossoms" Books
Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back offers hope, encouragement, and strength for women walking through loss. My Blossom Tips are fresh and practical - they stem from my own experiences with a schizophrenic mother, foster homes, a devastating family estrangement, and infertility.
How to Let Go of Someone You Love: Powerful Secrets (and Practical Tips!) for Healing Your Heart is filled with comforting and healthy breakup advice. The Blossom Tips will help you loosen unhealthy attachments to the past, seal your heart with peace, and move forward with joy.
When You Miss Him Like Crazy: 25 Lessons to Move You From Broken to Blossoming After a Breakup will help you refocus your life, re-create yourself, and start living fully again! Your spirit will rise and you'll blossom into who you were created to be.