Your heart is broken, and you’ll never be the same. You won’t get over your loss – but you can get through it more quickly and easily. If you learn how to increase your faith when you’re brokenhearted, you’ll find yourself filled with more joy, peace, and freedom than you thought possible.
My last She Blossoms newsletter – Making New Friends When You’re Brokenhearted – Blossom Tip 69 – was one of my most popular emails. I received more responses and comments from that one newsletter than the past three combined. Why? Because our broken hearts need love, hope, friends and faith.
We may know what we need, but we don’t know how to get it. It’s especially hard to heal from a broken heart when you feel sad, tired, unmotivated, lonely and alone. Knowing in our heads that we need to trust God and increase our faith is one thing, but actually moving forward when we’re brokenhearted is another. It’s hard…but I have good news!
One of the most important ways to increase your faith when you’re brokenhearted is to find kindred spirits. I’m not talking about going out for coffee to fill the time or attending church so your friends see you haven’t lost your faith. I don’t mean joining a book club, Bible Study, or support group — unless you truly want to participate in those activities.
When I say “kindred spirits”, I mean friends who get you. People you feel comfortable with, like you’ve known them forever. People you can trust, who encourage you to be your true self. Friends you talk to about the reasons for and depth of your broken heart. And — most importantly — friends who share your beliefs and values.
Increasing your faith is impossible if you’re a follower of Jesus, yet you’re constantly surrounded by people who don’t have a personal relationship with Him. I’m not suggesting you isolate yourself from nonChristians, agnostics, or atheists. I’m just saying you can’t expect them to help you learn how to increase your faith.
If you truly want to be more faithful — and you want to heal your broken heart — then you need to find and stick with the source of all healing, love, joy, inspiration, peace and freedom. God. El Shaddai. Adonai. Abba Father, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit. Ruach!
How to Increase Your Faith When You’re Brokenhearted
Inspired by Jacob (aka Israel) in Genesis 43, this article is part of my She Blossoms Through the Bible project. I learned something new about Jacob and his broken heart this morning — and it wasn’t exactly flattering to him. I saw myself in his actions — which wasn’t exactly flattering to me. But I learned three tips for increasing my faith through the darkest and scariest moments of life. I have a feeling these tips will help you, too.
1. Remember that God has Something Amazing planned for you
Genesis 43:6 tells us that Israel (Jacob) was SO stuck in his pain and grief that he couldn’t let his youngest son Benjamin go with his ten older brothers to Egypt. Joseph (Jesus) was calling them over, offering family and food and safety and wealth. Israel was brokenhearted, stubborn, and stiff necked. He refused to trust El Shaddai, much less try to increase his faith and move forward. In fact Israel vowed to stay in Sheol, the dark underworld of the dead, a place of grief, mourning, heaviness and broken hearts. Israel had no idea that God had better plans — Something Amazing — in store. Worse, Israel refused to trust God. Israel let the broken hearts, hopelessness, and darkness rule.
You don’t know your future…but God does. Losing someone you love hurts more than anything. Maybe you’re a widow whose husband died after an unexpected accident or long illness. Maybe he even had a long, rich, full life and was eager to meet Jesus. You may even know you’ll be reunited with your husband when you pass. Even so, you’re still struggling to know how to trust God after a heartbreaking loss. This is normal! Losing someone you love is painful, and you never fully get over the grief. But you can get through it if you remember that God really does have Something Amazing planned for you.
2. Pay attention to what — or who — rules you
Israel (Jacob) was ruled by grief, fear, scarcity, and bitterness. Israel didn’t trust God to keep His promises or be faithful to His covenant. He was haunted by grief from the past, anger in the present, and fear of the future. Israel refused to believe that taking the risk of sending his sons to Egypt might be an act of faith, part of God’s plan for their lives and for the future of the whole Jewish race. Worse, Israel didn’t turn to God or even pray from guidance. He offered a brokenhearted prayer as Judah and his other sons left the land of Canaan. “And may God Almighty grant you mercy before the man so that he will let your other brother and Benjamin come back with you. As for me, if I am bereaved, I am bereaved.” (Genesis 43:14).
Who or what is ruling you? If you’re searching for tips on how to increase your faith when you’re brokenhearted, perhaps grief or depression is ruling you. Maybe you’re allowing loneliness, bitterness, or loss to overshadow your relationship with Jesus. Maybe you’re ruled by grief, fear, scarcity or even depression. Lift your head, see what or who is ruling you! You can’t increase your faith by burying your head in the sand or refusing to allow the Holy Spirit to show you the truth. You’re brokenhearted, and it hurts. I’ve been there, I know how painful loss is. But I also know that God really does heal broken hearts and bind wounds! It’s just that He has to have our hearts and wounds before He can increase our faith.
3. Ask God to increase your faith and heal your broken heart
Genesis 43 tells us that Israel didn’t travel to Egypt with his sons at that time, but he gave them permission to go. Was it an act of faith? I don’t know. I see it as an act of desperation because the Hebrews were in danger of starving to death. Famine lodged in the land of Canaan; it would last for seven years. Joseph knew this and he wanted to save his family — his kindred spirits! Joseph was willing to welcome his brothers back, feast with them, wash their feet, and feed their donkeys (Genesis 43:24). Joseph’s heart was broken because of his family…and yet he allowed his faith and love to override the grief and pain.
God knows your heart and hears your prayers. Don’t ask once for increased faith and healing for your broken heart. Don’t expect God to miraculously cure your grief and sorrow, or suddenly pour joy, peace and hope into your life (though He DOES do that!). Instead, develop a personal relationship with Jesus. Get to know Him for who He is. He is not your personal genie in a bottle, ready to grant all your requests and solve all your problems. Jesus is so much more than anything you could ever imagine. Pray for increased faith so you can sense the Holy Spirit, read the Bible with clarity and understanding, and be filled with insight and revelation.
Developing real relationship with the Lord will increase your faith and heal your broken heart…and it all starts with asking. Then receiving. Asking again, receiving more! Learn what it means to have a personal relationship with Jesus — it means different things to different believers, because He treats us differently.
How do you feel, what do you think? Your comments — big and little — are welcome below.
With His love,
P.S. Are you struggling to make a decision or find the right path in your life? Read an Easy Way to Stop Overthinking God’s Will for Your Life.