“He makes me feel useless and stupid,” said one of my She Blossoms readers. “My life is empty and meaningless, and I’m worthless.” I know the feeling, except it wasn’t a man who made me feel useless and stupid. It was my mom.
I grew up feeling like I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t pretty, skinny or smart. I didn’t even have a normal mom and dad! My mom was schizophrenic, and my dad left when I was nine months old. I lived in foster homes when my mom was hospitalized. I felt like garbage. Worse, I didn’t know how to stop feeling useless. I didn’t know what to do when I felt empty – and I couldn’t go to the internet. I was lost in an ocean of meaninglessness and lack of purpose.
But this isn’t about me. This is about you, and how you can start feeling more valuable and loved right now. Today! Imagine the freedom, joy, and peace of feeling good about yourself. The bliss of loving yourself, not caring what people think, and living a life filled with purpose and meaning. Imagine not feeling useless anymore. This, my friend, is why God brought you to She Blossoms.
In this article you’ll learn three simple tips on how to stop feeling useless in your life. All I can do is share how I learned how to stop feeling bad about myself…you have to do the rest.
3 Tips for Overcoming Feelings of Worthlessness
Maybe you searched the internet for “how to stop feeling worthless” several times, and found nothing that truly helped. Sure, you found a few articles on what to do when your life feels meaningless, but it didn’t actually change anything. It didn’t make any difference.
I know those articles didn’t help you cope with an empty, meaningless life because you’re here. You’re not fulfilling your dreams, chasing your goals, or blossoming into who God created you to be.
1. Dig up the root of the problem
My reader said she feels useless because her boyfriend calls her stupid and meaningless. My life felt empty and meaningless because I grew up in poverty with a mentally ill mother. Maybe you feel useless because of what your parents told you, or what your siblings called you. Maybe your schoolmates called you names, or your grandparents hurt you.
Why do you feel so useless? Part of it is our natural, normal yearning for God. He wired us to have relationships not just with each other, but with Him. He set a longing in our hearts, spirits and souls for His presence, love, and spirit. The uselessness and unworthiness you feel is because you don’t have a strong personal relationship with Him. Maybe you’ve met Jesus, but don’t even feel worthy to be called one of His children.
Figuring out the roots of your unworthiness will help you figure out how to feel loved. If you think life is empty and meaningless because of a breakup or divorce, you may find How to Fill the Emptiness When You Miss Your Ex helpful.
2. Learn how others overcome feelings of uselessness
When I was attacked by bouts of meaninglessness (which I called “existential angst”), I read Ecclesiastes. “Everything is meaningless!” writes the teacher. The whole book is about how meaningless life is because we work, live, and die. Some of us struggle with serious depression, illnesses, catastrophes, abuse, poverty, social injustice – the list goes on forever.
Reading Ecclesiastes helped me because I saw I wasn’t alone. I was not the first person whose life felt meaningless and empty. I wasn’t the only one who felt useless, worthless, ugly, fat, and ashamed of myself. I wasn’t alone in my struggle for a meaningful, happy life. I felt better because I was in good company.
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What makes you feel better? How do you actually overcome feelings of uselessness and meaningless? Instead of obsessing about how unhappy you feel or how bad your life is, start focusing on how to overcome the pain.
3. Go deeper into what works
Oh, the joy of knowing Jesus! He is the giver of life, love, peace, strength, power and freedom. I love knowing Jesus. I love Jesus. He is the reason I blossomed into who I am today. I am happy, healthy, spiritually alive, and closer to God than I’ve ever been. There is nothing like the joy and energy of Jesus, or the wisdom and guidance of the Holy Spirit.
I went deeper into my relationship with God because I knew it helped when I felt worthless and useless. It made sense. If simply reading Scripture helped my life feel less empty and meaningless, what could actually knowing Jesus do?
A lot, as it turns out. Jesus changes everything. He is the only “tip” on how to stop feeling useless. He is the only way to create a life of purpose and meaning.
How is your relationship with God? Feel free to share below how you’re doing spiritually. Your spiritual life is the foundation of every other aspect of your life. So, if you’re in a dark spiritual place, then your life will feel empty and meaningless. There is no way around it. You have to reach out of the darkness and find the light.
4. Don’t expect a man, family, or money to fill your life with meaning
Bonus Blossom Tip: remember that nothing on earth can satisfy your heart and spirit. A man can make you happy for a night – or even a lifetime – but he won’t last forever. Nothing human does. Having children or a big family won’t fill your life with meaning, though it’s a wonderful blessing! It’s awesome (I’m sure) to have a loving family and close relatives. Families can be incredible sources of support, love, and strength. But a family can’t meet your spiritual, emotional or other needs like God can. A family won’t last into eternity, like Jesus will.
Your thoughts on how to stop feeling useless are welcome below. Big or little comments, doesn’t matter. Share your true thoughts, be yourself. I read every comment, but don’t worry. I won’t give advice or tell you what to do. It’s your turn to talk.
Laurie's "She Blossoms" Books
Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back offers hope, encouragement, and strength for women walking through loss. My Blossom Tips are fresh and practical - they stem from my own experiences with a schizophrenic mother, foster homes, a devastating family estrangement, and infertility.
How to Let Go of Someone You Love: Powerful Secrets (and Practical Tips!) for Healing Your Heart is filled with comforting and healthy breakup advice. The Blossom Tips will help you loosen unhealthy attachments to the past, seal your heart with peace, and move forward with joy.
When You Miss Him Like Crazy: 25 Lessons to Move You From Broken to Blossoming After a Breakup will help you refocus your life, re-create yourself, and start living fully again! Your spirit will rise and you'll blossom into who you were created to be.