How to Stop Feeling Useless


“He makes me feel useless and stupid,” said one of my She Blossoms readers. “My life is empty and meaningless, and I’m worthless.” I know the feeling, except it wasn’t a man who made me feel useless and stupid. It was my mom.

I grew up feeling like I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t pretty, skinny or smart. I didn’t even have a normal mom and dad! My mom was schizophrenic, and my dad left when I was nine months old. I lived in foster homes when my mom was hospitalized. I felt like garbage. Worse, I didn’t know how to stop feeling useless. I didn’t know what to do when I felt empty – and I couldn’t go to the internet. I was lost in an ocean of meaninglessness and lack of purpose.

But this isn’t about me. This is about you, and how you can start feeling more valuable and loved right now. Today! Imagine the freedom, joy, and peace of feeling good about yourself. The bliss of loving yourself, not caring what people think, and living a life filled with purpose and meaning. Imagine not feeling useless anymore. This, my friend, is why God brought you to She Blossoms.









In this article you’ll learn three simple tips on how to stop feeling useless in your life. All I can do is share how I learned how to stop feeling bad about myself…you have to do the rest.

3 Tips for Overcoming Feelings of Worthlessness

Maybe you searched the internet for “how to stop feeling worthless” several times, and found nothing that truly helped. Sure, you found a few articles on what to do when your life feels meaningless, but it didn’t actually change anything. It didn’t make any difference.

I know those articles didn’t help you cope with an empty, meaningless life because you’re here. You’re not fulfilling your dreams, chasing your goals, or blossoming into who God created you to be.

1. Dig up the root of the problem

My reader said she feels useless because her boyfriend calls her stupid and meaningless. My life felt empty and meaningless because I grew up in poverty with a mentally ill mother. Maybe you feel useless because of what your parents told you, or what your siblings called you. Maybe your schoolmates called you names, or your grandparents hurt you.

How to Stop Feeling UselessWhy do you feel so useless? Part of it is our natural, normal yearning for God. He wired us to have relationships not just with each other, but with Him. He set a longing in our hearts, spirits and souls for His presence, love, and spirit. The uselessness and unworthiness you feel is because you don’t have a strong personal relationship with Him. Maybe you’ve met Jesus, but don’t even feel worthy to be called one of His children.

Figuring out the roots of your unworthiness will help you figure out how to feel loved. If you think life is empty and meaningless because of a breakup or divorce, you may find How to Fill the Emptiness When You Miss Your Ex helpful.

2. Learn how others overcome feelings of uselessness

When I was attacked by bouts of meaninglessness (which I called “existential angst”), I read Ecclesiastes. “Everything is meaningless!” writes the teacher. The whole book is about how meaningless life is because we work, live, and die. Some of us struggle with serious depression, illnesses, catastrophes, abuse, poverty, social injustice – the list goes on forever.

Reading Ecclesiastes helped me because I saw I wasn’t alone. I was not the first person whose life felt meaningless and empty. I wasn’t the only one who felt useless, worthless, ugly, fat, and ashamed of myself. I wasn’t alone in my struggle for a meaningful, happy life. I felt better because I was in good company.



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What makes you feel better? How do you actually overcome feelings of uselessness and meaningless? Instead of obsessing about how unhappy you feel or how bad your life is, start focusing on how to overcome the pain.

3. Go deeper into what works

Oh, the joy of knowing Jesus! He is the giver of life, love, peace, strength, power and freedom. I love knowing Jesus. I love Jesus. He is the reason I blossomed into who I am today. I am happy, healthy, spiritually alive, and closer to God than I’ve ever been. There is nothing like the joy and energy of Jesus, or the wisdom and guidance of the Holy Spirit.

i feel worthlessI went deeper into my relationship with God because I knew it helped when I felt worthless and useless. It made sense. If simply reading Scripture helped my life feel less empty and meaningless, what could actually knowing Jesus do?

A lot, as it turns out. Jesus changes everything. He is the only “tip” on how to stop feeling useless. He is the only way to create a life of purpose and meaning.

How is your relationship with God? Feel free to share below how you’re doing spiritually. Your spiritual life is the foundation of every other aspect of your life. So, if you’re in a dark spiritual place, then your life will feel empty and meaningless. There is no way around it. You have to reach out of the darkness and find the light.

4. Don’t expect a man, family, or money to fill your life with meaning

Bonus Blossom Tip: remember that nothing on earth can satisfy your heart and spirit. A man can make you happy for a night – or even a lifetime – but he won’t last forever. Nothing human does. Having children or a big family won’t fill your life with meaning, though it’s a wonderful blessing! It’s awesome (I’m sure) to have a loving family and close relatives. Families can be incredible sources of support, love, and strength. But a family can’t meet your spiritual, emotional or other needs like God can. A family won’t last into eternity, like Jesus will.

Your thoughts on how to stop feeling useless are welcome below. Big or little comments, doesn’t matter. Share your true thoughts, be yourself. I read every comment, but don’t worry. I won’t give advice or tell you what to do. It’s your turn to talk.







Laurie's "She Blossoms" Books

growing forward book laurie pawlik she blossoms
Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back offers hope, encouragement, and strength for women walking through loss. My Blossom Tips are fresh and practical - they stem from my own experiences with a schizophrenic mother, foster homes, a devastating family estrangement, and infertility.








letting go book laurie pawlik she blossoms

How to Let Go of Someone You Love: Powerful Secrets (and Practical Tips!) for Healing Your Heart is filled with comforting and healthy breakup advice. The Blossom Tips will help you loosen unhealthy attachments to the past, seal your heart with peace, and move forward with joy.









miss him book laurie pawlik she blossoms
When You Miss Him Like Crazy: 25 Lessons to Move You From Broken to Blossoming After a Breakup will help you refocus your life, re-create yourself, and start living fully again! Your spirit will rise and you'll blossom into who you were created to be.







xo


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4 thoughts on “How to Stop Feeling Useless

  • Maggie

    Hi Laurie….you hit the nail on the head when you wrote, ‘Maybe you’ve met Jesus but don’t feel worthy to be called one of His children’.

    I grew up in an extremely toxic household where severe verbal and emotionsl abuse were the norm. For as long as I can remember, I was told I was stupid and would never amount to anything. In fact, “worthless” was my nickname.

    Though well into my 40s, I still struggle with feelings of not being good enough or worthy. I can’t imagine Jesus finding anything in me that would make Him want to call me His.

    Maggie

    • Laurie Post author

      Dear Maggie,

      It must have been so hard for you, to grow up with such emotional and verbal abuse. That is the root of worthless feelings. When we hear those messages as children, we really do think we’re useless and stupid. Overcoming that type of abuse is hard…but not impossible! It just takes work. Constantly reminding ourselves of our identity in Jesus, always fixing our thoughts on that which is true, good, pure and holy.

      You, Maggie, were created by God in His own image. You, Maggie, are a reflection of Him. THAT is what is good and worthy about you! When God created you, He planted His seeds of beauty, love, joy, power, and glory in you. But that doesn’t mean you’re perfect 🙂 You have flaws, weaknesses, and warts. You’ve sinned – like we all have. You aren’t good enough by yourself to be called worthy….and that’s why Jesus died for you! Because He sees the seeds of God in you, because He was there when God formed you in your mother’s womb. Jesus loves you so much, He chose to die for you. Not because of you, but because you were created in God’s image.

      It has nothing to do with you. If you try to stop feeling useless on your own – which is what I tried to do for years – you’ll fail. You are only good or worthy through Jesus. If you believe in Jesus, if you accept that He died for you as you are, then His perfection and righteousness is yours. When you surrender to Jesus, God sees Jesus in you…and you are more worthy than all the gold, silver, and treasure in the world.

      Learn more about Jesus, and why He died for you. Develop your relationship with God. This is how you will stop feeling useless. Spend time in His presence. The more time you spend with Him, the deeper your faith and identity will grow. And you will know how worthy you really are.

      With His love,
      Laurie

  • Ruchi

    So truly said that everything is impermanent except God, the higher power, highest consciousness whatever you want to call. One thing which works out in my favour is to make him a part of the day today life. Instead of keeping him as a deity in the worship room and meeting him just morning evening, make him a part of your life each moment. Keep thanking him for whatever he gives each moment.
    Someone mentioned “whenever you feel, you have nothing, check your pulse”. You will realise, you have Life with you 🙂

    Keep blossoming!

    • Laurie Post author

      Thank you, Ruchi – I love the idea of making God part of your daily life.

      He is our breath, the source of life, and we tend to take Him for granted! It’s so important to turn to Him throughout the day, not just the morning or evening – or when we need Him. That’s one of the best to stop feeling useless and unworthy, and keep filling up with His love and power.

      With His love,
      Laurie