“I have nobody to help me,” readers often say on my She Blossoms blogs. “How do I succeed without money, family, friends?” When you have nobody to help you, succeeding feels impossible.
In Growing Forward When You Can’t Go Back, I share glimpses of what it was like to grow up with a schizophrenic mother, live in foster homes, and constantly move from city to city. At one point I had to call Social Services because my mom was very sick. I was 13 years old, and had no family or friends to help me.
Or so I thought! Looking back, I see that I had more help and hope than I realized. I reached out to strangers in desperation and faith, and found my way through a hard situation. Now, I see that I knew more about surviving than I ever believed possible. And so do you. Right now you may feel lost and alone. You may think that succeeding is impossible — especially when you have nobody to help you out of a bad situation. If you think this, you’re wrong. You can get the help you need and want.
This article is part of my She Blossoms Through the Bible project. I’m writing a practical, encouraging blog post for every chapter in every book of the Bible! This one — Succeeding When You Have Nobody to Help You – Step 14 — is inspired by Genesis 14. Abram’s nephew Lot was kidnapped and his possessions stolen; he may have thought he had nobody to help him, but he was wrong. He was rescued, redeemed, and restored. Lot is a good example of someone succeeding when he had nobody to help him.
You don’t have to believe in God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit to benefit from my tips on how to succeed when you don’t have help. You don’t have to learn how to pray for help, healing, or hope. Just keep an open mind and consider new possibilities. Listen to the still small voice that brought you here. New beginnings and beautiful blossoms grow from tiny seeds of life…and that’s what this is.
How to Succeed When You Have No Help
Your mindset changes everything! What you believe and think about yourself, your circumstances, and your life will determine whether or not you succeed. My first and most important tip for succeeding when you have nobody to help you is to banish that thought from your mind.
You will come through this. You might not have a strong or obvious source of help right now, but if you keep going you will find what you need. Don’t give up hope. Even better, reroot and reground yourself in the amazing power of your Creator.
1. Prepare to receive a powerful source of strength
Genesis 14 tells us the story of Lot’s kidnapping: all his possessions were stolen, he was imprisoned by the enemy, and he didn’t know the end of the story. Lot didn’t know his uncle Abram would rescue him — and he didn’t call out for help. Someone else acted on Lot’s behalf: one of the survivors escaped and told Abram that Lot needed help (Genesis 14:13). Lot couldn’t do anything but wait, hope, and maybe even pray that he would be saved. He was alone and scared…but he had a source of strength, power and deliverance he didn’t even know existed.
What are 5 possible sources of help and hope in your life? Make a list of at least five resources that can help you succeed when you have nobody to help you. You can start with “I have nobody to help me”, and you can add “I have nothing left in me.” You might even say “I’ll never succeed because I’m not good/smart/strong/brave enough.” That’s fine — get it all out! Then remember that when I was a kid living with my schizophrenic mom, I knew I had at least one source of help. I called out and I was saved. If I can do it, so can you.
2. Look at your definitions of “success” and “nobody to help you”
To Lot in Genesis 14, “success” was not being robbed and kidnapped in the first place! At one time in his life success was living in peace and prosperity, with lots of family and friends and people to help him succeed all the more. But life threw a bunch of pain and hardship Lot’s way — largely based on his own past choices (Genesis 13:10) — and suddenly he was thrown into a strange new world. Suddenly Lot was feeling confused about his life and coping with fear of the unknown. He had to redefine what succeeding meant, and he had to rely on new sources of hope and help for his life.
What does “succeeding” mean to you? Maybe you need to escape an abusive relationship, or a boring job. Maybe your friends are dragging you down or your spiritual life is stagnant. Maybe you feel depressed and hopeless, alone and helpless. Maybe you don’t even know what succeeding in your life means. Maybe you believe success means finding friends and family who will love and help you. Defining success is a crucial step! Before you can succeed in anything, you need to know what success actually means to you.
3. Reach out and receive help
Lot may not have been able to call or text Abram for help, but he certainly received it when it came. Abram saved Lot, redeemed and restored his life and possessions. Abram rescued Lot from the chains of being kidnapped by the enemy, and brought him home where he belonged. When I was reflecting on Genesis 14, I thought of Jesus. Abram’s act of faith and courage reminded me of Jesus, of how God helps us succeed when we think we have nobody to help us. In fact, God loves pouring success into our lives — especially when we have no help — because it reveals His power and strength! Sometimes succeeding isn’t about finding someone to help us…it’s about receiving the help that’s already available.
How can you receive help in ways you don’t expect? After I called Social Services when I was 13, I was placed in a foster home. Living with foster parents was fine, but it wasn’t my definition of a “successful childhood”! I had great foster homes…but they weren’t my family, my home, my pets or food or routine. My childhood wasn’t what I expected and it didn’t set me up for a successful life as an adult. I had nobody to help me, and it took me years to accept my past. But I learned how to receive help in ways I didn’t expect. I’m also constantly redefining what “success” means to me.
To me, succeeding is forgetting myself. Success is becoming less self-conscious, less fearful, less other-oriented, and less worried about disrupting other people’s lives. Above all, success is hearing God’s still small voice and following Jesus into the new seasons He as planned. Success is living in joy, peace, and freedom no matter what my circumstances are.
You can succeed, even if you have nobody to help you right now. You can live a deep, fulfilling, passionate and meaningful life even if you’re stuck in chains or burdened by your past! It takes time to be rescued, live in freedom and joy, and let go of the shackles you’re used to wearing.
But it’s worth it.
May you find the help, hope, and faith you need to succeed. May you put down the burden of thinking you have nobody to help you; may you pick up the life and salvation of the Lord Jesus Christ who died for you. May God reveal His power and love to you…and may you live in victory and joy.
Your thoughts — big and little — are welcome below!
With His love,
P.S. Are you struggling to break old habits? Read 3 Ways to Stop Wasing Your Life on Meaningless Things.