Your life will never the be the same after you lose someone you love – and neither will you. These tips on how to survive an empty house and lonely heart after a loved one’s death will help you see you’re not alone, and give you hope for the rest of the day.
One of the most important things you can do is pay attention to the rhythms of your own emotions and life. For example, some people find an empty house harder to face on weekends, while others struggle to get through the night when they’re sad and lonely. Some people find consolation by writing poems lonely hearts, while others want to stay physically active and busy.
I read a lot of books about grieving, loss, and surviving the emptiness when a loved one dies. I also spend time online with grief groups, and on blogs about surviving sadness and loneliness after loss. In this article, I’ll share the most interesting “secrets” to surviving an empty house and lonely heart that I’ve been noticing.
You’re not alone if you feel like you’ll never survive the emptiness of your home or loneliness of your heart. I’ve experienced dark, long, lonely nights I thought would never end. I never thought I could be happy again, and I didn’t think I’d find anyone who understood what I was going through.
Feel free to share your experience in the comments section below. Sometimes it helps to write about your feelings and express your thoughts. Just knowing that someone will read your comments can be a surprisingly comforting way to survive a lonely heart and empty house.
4 Secrets to Surviving an Empty House and Lonely Heart
Our theme on She Blossoms this week is acceptance. Accepting your loss and allowing the pain to flow through you can be one of the best ways to survive grief. But it’s exhausting to grieve, which is why these tips aren’t about feeling the pain…
1. Develop a strong sense of identity
Who are you? What do you believe in, what is your story, how did you get here, and where are you going? A strong sense of self-identity and self-worth can change how you cope with the emptiness of a house after you lose someone you love. If you know who you are – and why you were created – you’ll be better equipped to survive the emptiness of a lonely heart.
After losing someone you love, your identity changes. This is your time to grow forward and develop a new sense of purpose in your life. Who or what is your identity founded on? If you know who you are and where you’re going, you’ll adjust to an empty house and lonely heart with less trouble.
2. Go where you’re needed
Your presence matters! No matter how old you are, how much training or education you have, or what you think you have to offer – you can make a difference in someone else’s life. Leave your empty house, and find ways to get involved in your community or city. Fill your empty heart by pouring yourself into someone you believe in.
You don’t have to leave your home to go where you’re needed. Find blog posts like Help Starting Over in Your 60s – After Your Husband Dies, and be a source of comfort and help. Give, even when you feel empty. Experiment until you find your own ways to survive an empty house and lonely heart. The secret isn’t on this blog. It’s in you.
3. Take control of what you can
What happened to you? Maybe you feel out of control because an accident or disease stole someone you love from your life. Maybe you feel helpless and scared because you know how vulnerable you are in this world. Maybe you never dreamed you’d be living in an empty house, coping with a lonely heart, or searching for tips on surviving grief.
You can’t change what happened…but you can take control of something today. What is one thing you can do that will make a difference in how you think, feel, or see the world? How can you fill the emptiness in your home and the loneliness in your heart? If you choose to take control of what you can, you’ll find energy and hope.
4. Read stories of women who survived – and thrived
I recently wrote a book called Growing Forward When You Can’t Go Back, and I was amazed at the women I profiled. I wove my stories of loss and healing with the stories of ten Biblical women; what they experienced astounded me. Those women of the Bible — from Eve to Mary, Mother of Jesus — didn’t have the choices and resources we have today. They didn’t have houses, cars, money or power. But they did have hearts…and they were lonely.
Simply learning how other women survived empty homes and lonely hearts after losing someone they loved can give you strength and courage. Know that even if you feel like you’ll never survive life after losing someone you love, you can move forward with faith and hope…because you have no choice. Your life – and the world – will march along with or without you. Your only choice is to march along with it, or allow it to stomp all over your heart.
Gain comfort and hope from women who are survivors. Maybe this means joining an online group for women who are surviving an empty house, or joining an in-person “lonely hearts” club. Maybe you need to start something that doesn’t exist, or revive something that is flailing.
The choice is yours. And maybe that’s the biggest secret to surviving after you lose someone you love: choosing to walk forward into the life God has planned.
What do you think about my secrets for surviving an empty house and lonely heart? Your thoughts – big and little – are welcome below! I read every comment, but don’t worry: I won’t give advice or tell you what to do. It’s your turn to talk.