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About Laurie

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Vancouver blogger writer
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

Greetings from rainy Vancouver, BC, Canada! My name is Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen; I’m a full-time writer and blogger. My degrees are in Psychology and Social Work from the University of Alberta in Edmonton, and I also have a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of British Columbia.

I live in a treehouse overlooking the Pacific Ocean with my husband, two dogs, cat, and other assorted animals. We live across the street from a forest, and often run into bears, coyotes, owls, raccoons, skunks, bats, and even the occasional bobcat. Meow. I mean, Rooaaarrr!!!!!

Growing Forward She Blossoms Laurie Pawlik

My first traditionally published book is called Growing Forward When You Can’t Go Back and published by Bethany House. Growing forward is about moving through loss into a new season of life. I’ve been through a lot – and I bet you have, too. It hasn’t been easy, has it? But our stories aren’t over yet! The echoes of Jesus tell us that best is yet to come.

I created my She Blossoms blog and book family over 10 years ago. Talk about dreams coming true – and staying alive for a decade! I love blogging for a living. I started Quips & Tips for Successful Writers (now called Writing Blossoms) when I first started freelancing for magazines in 2008. My most recent blog is Echoing Jesus

A Glimpse of My Life

My mom struggled with schizophrenia and nervous breakdowns my whole life; I lived in three foster homes and was living on my own at 17 years old. My mom lives in a group home for elderly adults with mental and physical disabilities in Saskatchewan.

I follow Jesus but my dad is Jewish, born and raised in Jerusalem, Israel. He still lives there. I didn’t meet him until I went to Israel when I was 29 years old.

I lived in Kenya, East Africa for three years. I taught Grade 8 Language Arts and High School Journalism at Rosslyn Academy, an American school for missionaries’ and ex-pat kids in Nairobi.

My undergraduate degrees are in Education and Psychology from the University of Alberta, in Edmonton. My Master of Social Work (MSW) is from the University of British Columbia (UBC) in Vancouver, Canada.

I started volunteering with the Big Sisters/Big Brothers organization in 2012; my “Little” Sister was 11 when we were matched. Soon I’ll be visiting her in Quebec — her dream is to attend university in Montreal! I was a Little Sister myself when I was 10 years old, in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. I’m still in touch with my Big Sister today; she lives in Toronto, Ontario.

As a freelance writer, I’ve written for a wide range of magazines such as Reader’s Digest, Woman’s Day, MSN Health, Natural Health, Spirituality & Health, and sometimes More.

I didn’t get married until I was 35. I married Bruce, who I met when I was 18 and he was 21. He was a bartender at Chi Chi’s Mexican Restaurant, and I was a waitress. We were friends for a long, long time (17 years!) before we finally got married. We struggled with infertility and can’t have children because of azoospermia. We chose not to get in vitro fertilization (IVF), though we did try intrauterine insemination (IUI). Those fertility treatments didn’t work; we decided not to adopt or foster kids.

Laurie Pawlik Kienlen Blossom Tips ebook

I’ve written several “She Blossoms” books and ebooks, and have been earning a full-time living as a blogger and writer since 2008. My first ebook is How to Let of Someone You Love: 3 Powerful Secrets (and 75 Tips!) for Healing Your Heart.

Currently I’m studying Christian theology at Regent College in Vancouver, Canada. My goal is to earn my Master of Theological Studies degree within the next couple of years. I’m a full-time student, writer, and follower of Jesus.

After I turned 40, I got my Master of Social Work (MSW) and taught myself to play the flute. I also started painting with oils and acrylics (a dream come true!). I also went on my first mission trip to Haiti.

I’ll be 50 soon; I dream of wandering the world, seeing what the Holy Spirit is up to, and writing about stuff.

My “She Blossoms” Blog Family

I started blogging as a way to make money more than 10 years ago, which means I have a huge variety of articles. I’ve changed so much since I first started The Adventurous Writer and my “Quips and Tips” blogs – and I’m not thrilled with everything I wrote. I’m a new person now, but I don’t want to delete or erase my old blog posts. I’m trying to update them to reflect the new me (the Holy Girl God created me to be!), but it takes a lot of time to rewrite 2,000 blog posts!

My past is part of who I am today, and who God is creating me to be. Thus, my past articles and blog posts reflect who I was when I first started writing. They aren’t who I am now. Though I’d love to rewrite all my old articles (for both writing/editing practice and to reveal who I am today), it’s not a top priority because I’m no longer concerned what people think. I know who I am in Christ, and that’s all that matters.

My two most popular blogs are: 1) How Love Blossoms – articles about marriage, relationships, and healing from breakups, divorce, and other losses in love; and 2) Blossom Tips – articles about life, work, family, career, and spirituality.

Laurie Pawlik Kienlen Vancouver blogger writer Blossom
Jackson and Me

Originally called Quips and Tips for Love and Relationships, She Blossoms contains my first love and relationship articles. That blog grew too big — a victim of its own success — and I had to plant and grow a new garden.

Once called Quips and Tips for Achieving Your Goals, Life Blossoms has all my first articles about goals, life, family, and work.

Originally Quips and Tips for Successful Writers, Writing Blossoms is the first blog I started, back in 2008! My goal was to share my writing journey and help my fellow scribes get published.

And finally, I started Quips and Tips for Couples Coping With Infertility when my husband and I discovered we can’t have kids. Health Blossoms contains my articles about trying to get pregnant and deal with childlessness.

Farewell – For Now!

Your thoughts are welcome on any of my blogs – I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to introduce yourself in the comments section below, or on any blog post.

Take good care of yourself, for you are a child of God…and that means you are worth taking good care of.

In peace and passion,


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94 thoughts on “About Laurie”

  1. I am a 56 year old going through a divorce. After 12 years of marriage. We’ve been separated for over 2 years. I’m definitely stuck. This was my 2nd marriage. I was married for 18 years to a wonderful man the father of my 2 children. However, he was an alcoholic. By no means was I the “perfect” wife. So I’m not completely blaming the divorce on him. I take responsibility for my actions.
    I’ve made mistakes and find it hard to forgive myself when others will not forgive me. I believe this idms a huge reason for my “stuckness”.

    I am also a believer. With that said, I’m also having trouble with understanding God’s timing. I know everything does happen in His time. I’ve lived it. Never thought I’d become pregnant, but in His time (not mine) He blessed me.

    I’m looking for something to read which will eventually give me a clearer mind, but more importantly a calmer soul. I’m going to begin reading some of your writings. If you feel you can guide me as to where to start? I’d appreciate it.

    May you be blessed. Thank you for sharing.

    1. Dear Pamela,

      Maybe you’re not stuck…maybe you’re in a transitional time, a season of grief and loss. Your life has changed in major ways; it takes time to grieve the death of your old life, marriage, and self. You’re also dealing with a major change in how people see you. It’s a whole new, different, unexpected and maybe even unwanted change in your life.

      Like a seed planted in the earth’s dark soil, maybe you’re growing slowly and almost imperceptibly. You can’t necessarily see your own growth, but it is happening. Your spirit, heart, psyche and mind is adjusting to this new life…and it takes time.

      I’ve stopped trying to understand God or His timing. I think there is so much going on that we know nothing of, we’ll never fully get it. If we understood God, He wouldn’t be God! He’d be us 🙂 So I encourage you to simply accept this divorce and new stage in life without trying to understand it.

      As for reading…I’d recommend Byron Katie’s “Loving What Is” and Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now.” I’d also encourage you to simply be with God, to sit in quiet silence and let the Holy Spirit descend. It takes time and practice, but the healing power of simply being with God is transformational. Instead of trying to get unstuck, I encourage you to just be in this season of your life.

      I hope this helps, and that you find healing and self-compassion as your life unfolds.

      With the love of Jesus,

  2. Hi Laurie. I’m so grateful to have found your site accidentally. I’m fifty, have a dog, and I’m in the adventure of my life. I’ve been in Culinary all my life…owning my own business for 23 years in NH, USA. I finally had the courage to step away from my business partner(my mother) to fulfill my dream of living out west and changing careers. I had to endure a “character assassination” by all my friends and family I think because I was always the glue in those relationships. I know 100% that leaving is what God wanted me to do. I’m schooling for Nutrition and Personal Training, but I love animals also, so I’m tossing around careers. My problem is lack of funds. I lived paycheck to paycheck with my business. I’m doing a lot of research and asking a lot of questions. Thank you so much for your site and encouragement. A fellow introvert, Kristin

  3. Those are great and important questions, Bimol! I encourage you to visit reputable theology websites, and research the answers. This will make it much more meaningful for you. I often visit these websites: GotQuestions, BlueLetter Bible, Precept Austin, and Bible Gateway.

    Let me know what you find out – I’d love to hear your thoughts on those questions.


  4. Bimol Mathias Gomes

    Just now I have read the Glimpse of your life, which is really wonderful life. Laurie I like your writing and love your passion and believe on Lord Jesus Christ. I am also a crazy servant of Lord JESUS Christ. Just three questions for you to know from you that what you think about it.

    1. Why our Lord Jesus Christ had been fallen down to the ground three times with cross, why not one, two or four and five times?

    2. Who was two thieves crucified with Lord Jesus Christ? Why only two thieves not three, four and five? This two thieves were not same
    guilty like Barabbas but they were punished for crucified. Pilate released Barabbas who was rubber but two thieves got punish, why?

    3. You know that our Lord Jesus was a only the loving son of His Father but my question is when Jesus came with His disciples to the garden named “Gathsemane” and prayed three times to His Father why not one time. Was Jesus not loving son of His Father that He prayed three times to His Father?

  5. Hi, i just got and am reading your book Going Forward. Looks like a very good read for those who have been hurt by life. I am excited about what i learn snd glean and grow from it and your expericens.
    I lost a 14 year old son very suddenly and tradgicly in a quad accident in april of 2017. He was just 2 months short of his 15th B-day. Yesterday we celebrated his 17th birthday in memory of him.
    God has been so good to us in our loss and grief. Giving us a joy again, and a hope and a purpose as we move forward.
    Now im passoinate about reaching out and being a support and encouragement to others going through this.
    I blog about the new journey we are on over on my blog/website.
    Thanks for your blog and the book im reading.
    God bless. Mae renfroe

    1. Thanks for sharing your journey, Mae!

      Your blog looks helpful and interesting. I’m so sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine what a shock and heartbreak it must be for you. It’s been two years…and what an amazing thing God is doing in your life. The Holy Spirit has given you a new strength, hope, purpose, and meaning as you grow forward. You’re an inspiration and encouragement to others, a true witness to the love and faith of Jesus Christ.

      With His love,

  6. I am 64 years old and I’ve just lost my husband to a massive heart attack. It has only been a month and though I know it will get better, right now it feels like I will never be happy again and there seems to be no relief from the pain. We were very very happy and In love. He was the love of my life and I was his. We have so many happy memories which makes it even more painful. The happy memories make me weep.

    1. I’m sorry you lost your husband, Kellie. What a terrible shock and sad loss. You loved him deeply, and adjusting to life without him can’t be easy….and there are no words to take the pain away. I wish I knew what to say, or that I could offer comfort and hope.

      May your heart find healing as you grieve and say goodbye to your husband. I pray for comfort to come in unexpected ways, for freedom from the pain, and for God’s peace that surpasses all understanding.

      With sympathy and warmth,

  7. Hi there thank you for your blog. My father has been physically, emotionally, financially, abusive to me. A little over a year ago he developed a heart condition and my mother needed help. We were asked to sell our home and they would turn over the house in my name. This never happened instead they added my name to the deed. Since then my father has locked us out of the house, sues us twice, tried to put a restraint order on us and my brother Kevin got the proceeds From the sale of my house they are a financial drain on us but if we don’t do what he says he sues us he hasn’t ever won any of the cases but we feel trapped. We can’t
    Even find a lawyer to help us

  8. Hi Laurie,
    I was having a challenging day when I arrived at work (and it was only 9 am!) after having a phone conversation with my recovering alcoholic mother and Googled “How to deal with challenging parents” and your blog came up. It made my day and helped me feel less alone and more hopeful for the future. Thank you for your knowledge, sharing your personal experiences and for your help!

  9. Laurie,
    This morning I typed “how to deal with giving up a pet” and came across your site. Maybe you can help me understand these feelings. It has been almost 5 years since I gave up our golden retriever, Sara and the thoughts and memories of the whole ordeal seems to still bother me. I thought that I had shook this, but it keeps coming back, the regret and guilt, especially since the dog was our family dog that our daughter was attached to. I broke my daughter’s heart doing this thing, but we moved out of the country and my daughter and wife were already in Brazil when I did this. I cannot believe this is still haunting me, and no one understands why this bothers me so. How do I overcome this pain? I remember the day I gave her to her new family, she did not want to go, and this memory is tormenting me. The story behind getting Sara is unique, I said one day “I wish that I could have a golden retriever” and she showed up a week later in my front yard. I know that God gave her to us, but the craziness of relocating to another country to live, put me in a desperate situation, when I was trying to decide what to do. I cannot believe how blind I was trying to get to my family and thinking that giving up Sara to a new owner would solve the problem. (The friends that I was staying with had a dog that kept attacking Sara, so this only compounded the situation). It did for the new family, who lost their golden retriever 6 weeks before by a disease, but for me especially, this still hurts, or maybe it is an unresolved pain that has resurfaced. How do I heal and move on in life?

    1. Dear Steve,

      Thank you for being here – and for being brave enough to share your pain. Your heart is so soft and broken, you are such a sensitive, kind, loving man! And our dogs…they touch our souls, hearts, minds and emotions like no other being on earth ever could. We rehomed our dog Jazz and I’ll always feel regret and sadness about letting her go. We adopted two dogs since Jazz, but she will always live in our hearts.

      You inspired me to write today’s article, When the Past Keeps Returning to Haunt You ( https://blossomtips.com/how-to-cope-when-the-past-returns-to-haunt-you-leviticus-16/ ).

      I shared what helped me heal — it was a combination of things, but the foundation was God. I really need to forgive myself and become deeply rooted in love, hope, forgiveness, peace, faith and joy. That was the only way forward for me…and while the exact practices are different, the path is the same. It’s God’s spirit who heals, and He brings joy and peace that surpasses all understanding.

      May you find forgiveness and peace, Steve. May the pain, grief, regret and guilt you feel be dug up by the root. May the hole in your heart and spirit be filled with forgiveness, love, joy, healing, peace and freedom. May you look up and see the gaze of God, may you feel the heat of His power, the depth of His forgiveness, and the joy of His presence.

      May you know deep in your mind, heart and spirit that your Golden Sara was meant to come into your life for this brief time — for some reason just a short season. She was meant to pass through your life, to teach you something deeper and stronger than “just” living with her for a long time. Trust that God has a purpose for Sara and for you. Your lives intersected in this moment for a purpose beyond a life together….and perhaps her purpose is to expose a deeper wound that you need to address, so it can be healed.

      And when you meet her, your beloved Golden Sara, in the after life you’ll both immediately recognize each other. And you will know for sure that you did the right thing. She will lay her head against your thigh, look up at you with those beautiful eyes, and you will know that this was meant to be.

      With the deep love of Jesus,

  10. God works in mysterious ways. I lost my husband of 54 years last month and I feel like I’m numb. I can’t move forward…and though there are plenty of things I need to do (the business of death), I can’t even face that. I’d rather crawl back in bed and pull up the covers. I have plenty of support. My daughter and her family have moved in with me. Another transition of sorts. Where do you find the energy to take the first step back into living? Along comes your post on dealing with grief–written as thought it were meant for me personally. Thank you.

  11. Crawford Kilian

    Hi, Laurie–Many thanks for your book, and for your kind words! Glad to hear that Writing for the Web was useful for you. I’d forgotten about your Quips & Tips blogs, but they were real pioneer work. Delighted to see that this new site has indeed blossomed. Cheers and thanks again–Crawford

  12. Laurie, wow, wow, wow! I just stumbled across your blog when searching for articles on how to help my deeply, deeply unhappy husband. Of all the articles I’ve read on the subject, yours makes the most sense. I haven’t had a chance to read much of your other stuff yet but I am so glad that you are also a Christian. Your story resonates with me in some ways as I am also infertile (something I struggle with on a daily basis) and we were unable to adopt. I often question my faith and have huge difficulties in my relationship with God because my grief over my childlessness is so profound. I look forward to reading more of your blog. I have started blogging myself but haven’t shared it with many people yet as it is rather raw. I’m so glad I found your site. Thank you!

  13. Hi Laurie,
    I’m already subscribed to She Blossoms and look forward to all of your amazing articles! Earlier in the year, you had a download for 2019 calendar and I never had the chance to print out the calendar. I’ve tried to locate it on your site but can’t find it. Any possibility of sending me a link?
    Thank you
    Rebecca Horn

  14. Dear Laurie,

    Thank you – when I read your writings I feel your journey, but also your joy. You inspire me to keep on going, despite current difficulties and pain.

    I have subscribed but don’t appear to have your email – unless this is the blossomtips one.

    Thank you again.

  15. Laurie, I’m coming to Mt. Hermon this year and stumbled across your name while surfing the Blogs on the Mt. Hermon website. Your post on ways to keep blogging when you don’t want to caught my eye. That’s me, for sure. I realize I’ve been too unfocused and sporadic in my blogging but didn’t know how to fix that. I’m doing Randy Ingermanson’s morning track but I will definitely see if I can catch you in any workshops on blogging! The amazing thing is that we’re almost neighbours. I lived on the North Shore for nearly 30 years and moved out to Maple Ridge 6 years ago. One of my dear friends, Alayne Adams, lives on Deep Cove Road and I’m on and off the North Shore regularly. (I’m a teacher-on-call in North Van). I will look for you at the conference and we can talk about how funny it is to go all the way to California to meet a (practically) next door neighbour. Blessings! (BTW, I’m flying out of YVR on Delta at 6:30 on Friday morning. You may already be at the conference, if you’re a presenter, but if per chance we are on the same flight, that would be funny too!)

    1. Wow — what a pleasure to meet you, Ginny! I bet I walk by your friend’s home in the Cove several times a week 🙂

      Unfortunately, I won’t be seeing you at Mount Hermon this year. My blogging morning track was canceled due to low attendance. The organizers of the writer’s conference invited me to come along anyway, and I almost did….but that would mean missing the last 2 weeks of classes. I just started my Master of Divinity at Regent College in Vancouver!

      God is chuckling – and so am I – because I was actually going to cancel my blogging morning track at Mount Hermon. I’d agreed to teach it before deciding to go to Regent. But I didn’t feel right canceling on my committment to teach, so I decided to speed through my coursework at Regent, miss the last 2 weeks of classes, and honour my teaching contract. And then Mount Hermon canceled the class I was supposed to teach!! So funny 🙂

      AND, I’ve been waiting to see if and when the Regent library was going to hire new staff for the summer and fall season…and voila! Just yesterday they posted a sign in the library, inviting applications to work. If I’d gone to Mount Hermon I would’ve missed a potential library job. So I’m doubly happy that my blogging morning track got canceled.

      All that to say, I’m afraid I won’t be seeing you at Mount Hermon this year, Ginny. Have a great time — and please do keep in touch. The best way is to sign up for my Blossom Tips newsletter ( http://eepurl.com/ca2mJr ). I’m not selling anything, I promise! I just send a weekly encouragement and inspiration. Then you’ll get my email address, and perhaps we can meet in person one day.

      Happy writing – and safe journeys,
      With blessings from the Cove,

  16. Elizabeth Stricklin

    I received your book for my birthday from a young 20 something I am discipling. I t had been revolutionary in her life and she wanted to share it. I was gracious but thought to my haughty self, what could this book that appeared to be marketed to a younger crowd do for a 50 something empty nester, seasoned in the Word and with qiite a long history with God. I repent.
    After chapter one, I knew God would use “Growing Forward” to help heal the excruciating pain of losing my Mom to dementia and the shame and guilt that are unearthed by the family as we try to maneuver that turbulent sea. Thank you Laurie for such a gift to the Body. You are a treasure.

    1. Thank you, Elizabeth! I’m so glad Growing Forward was helpful to both you and your young disciple 🙂 Your words mean a lot to me.

      May you and your friend continue to walk forward in faith, peace, and love. May you know the peace and joy of Jesus in fresh new ways in this season of life, and may you find the blessings and blossoms in everything God allows you to experience.

      With His love,

  17. Hi Laurie,
    I am a survivor of sexual abuse by my father and various men. I am also a survivor of physical abuse by my mom. I am 44 and still feel like I am only in my 20’s. I feel like i have grown in so many ways but yet have not grown in others. My father passed away 17 years ago and I don’t have contact with my mom. I don’t have a desire to either. I am a part of a support group for sexual abuse survivors on Facebook. I felt a tug at times that God has wanted me to write a book. Right now I don’t know what kind or for whom to write it for. I feel I should write for adults and children. Please pray that God will give me the words to do this. I have written many poems about grace, forgiveness and the pain and deliverance from abuse. I know I need to write a book of abuse. I stumbled on your blog, not realizing till I read your bio that is a place for me. A beautiful day!

  18. thank you. my mom put a restraining order on me 5 years . she got diagnosed cancer stage 4 bone spine while she in remisdion 5 years cancer. she diagnosed dec 18 i found out through facebook. to this day not one word from my sister. my mom told my aunt she will deal with me after her cancer. things arent always as they appear. ive struggled with her all my life. we’ve been going to church more than 30 years i know my mom has a relationship with God i know it is his will. ive found it difficult to understand which i font care for anymore i pray God heals my heart already i cant handle anothet broken heart for ive lost my father wjo loved us so much grandmother both knew but never came out and said it. ive accepted my mom can never love me as i wanted. your article’s give me light hope and i cant wait until this too will pass. and it helps besides my therapist that its sad ugly horriable but its my reality and your artcles help me with the guidance and reassurance that i am going in the right direction. thank you

  19. Dear Laurie. I discovered your wonderful website quite by accident. I am 77 and entering a challenging part of my life. After a bad fall 5 mos. ago My right leg has been numb, my knee is injured, and I can`t lift my leg when seated but can when i`m standing (about 1 foot only) 55 years ago I suffered a fall (30+ ft.) and have had issues with right leg ever since. Ok, to the point. The MRI and the CT scan with contrast dye revealed a large mass/tumor adjacent to my spine that has surrounded the nerves that control r. leg function and prognosis is not good. I am now getting my house in order and contacting all the people that are important in my life. Now my story. I have been married 48 yrs. Have 1 boilogical chile and 2 children that are hers from a previous marriage. Love all of them as they are perfect in my eyes. I was raised in a Christiam home (i was adopted) baptised, and love Our Lord and Savior) My wife is a jewel. Now, due to a dream I had, I felt I absolutely had to contact my first love who I haven`t seen or spoke to in 50 years. I finally called her and it was a joyous reunion shescreamed my name and we both lost it for a while. She is happily married with 1 grown son and has a good, stable life. Our relationship started when her family moved in next door to me and my buddy. My best friend had found her mother when he saw her up the street from where his mother lived. She wasescaping a bad divorse and startin a new life. She had 4 children, 2 girls and twin boys. My best friend had started dating her and the house next door came available and they moved in as a family. When I was introduced to the family is the first time I saw my first love. I was not prepared for what happened when I met Sharon. Our eyes locked, my heart went crazy and my very soul was touched. It was the most emotional thing I have ever experienced. Later, I did some real soul searching and asked God if what I felt was real. A year and a half passed and we became the best of friends. I worked all kinds of crazy hours and our meetings were sporadic at best. Summer came, July 1st, 1969 came the first kiss. It was initiated by her and that was it. The stars and planets aligned and we became totally in love. October came, the economy was bad for my best friend and they had to move 130 miles away. Ok, so in a normal relationship we would have gotten married–I would have moved closer to her–all kinds of solutions would have presented themselves. However, her mother (who I really liked) said I could not see Sharon again as she felt that we were getting a little to familiar and she had suspicions about us. We were discrete and never displayed anything for each other whether at home or in public. Why, you ask? She was 12 going on 13 and I was 27! We knew that the risk was enormous but we felt so strong about it that we went ahead regardless of what could happen. So, after our last awful, heart wrenching goodbye we went our separate ways. No contact for 50 years! It all came back with a rush when we re-connected. We don`t want anything more than to just remain in each others lives and know that we are ok. So, age does not really play an important part of love, only when 2 people meet their soulmates and know it the instant they meet. God allowed us our time and has kept us in each others heart all these years. Our feelings are just as strong now as 50 yrs.ago. We both feel it was Gods plan to have us togeter for that brief time but look how is has endured. I love her so and will for eternity. Thanks for listening. Just interested if you had any observations about this from a womans perspective. Keep up your good work–you are helping a lot of people. God bless you always.

  20. My late father lived with schizophrenia, so we have much in common. In fact, I am studying psychology and sociology in college right now–at age 49! Never too late huh?

  21. Just thought I would say HI. Since we have a few things in common.
    We are a childless couple due to infertility choosing not to adopt or foster.
    But I also grew up in Kenya. Was actually born and raised there…my parents still live there. I went to RVA for highschool but my parents now live in Nairobi.
    I just found your website as I was feeling a little left out – it’s harder to have community and meet people where we live (Philippines) when you don’t have kids. So I was googling how to be happy as a childless couple. HA! Funny what those sad feelings can make us do.
    Read several of your articles and they have already been such an encouragement to me. I am getting up from this feeling so much better and empowered to change my life for the better. Thank you for your labor of love in writing and for not keeping all these nuggets to yourself!

    1. Rachel, great to meet you! I have a “Little Sister” from the Big Sisters/Little Sisters mentoring organization. She’s from the Philippines, and I’ve always wanted to visit her home country. Must be so interesting to live there.
      And I remember RVA well 🙂 I went there for a teachers’ conference and a couple basketball tournaments.
      It is harder to build community without children, that’s for sure. Here in Vancouver, Canada, too. Families and parents seem to bond quickly and easily because of their children…and it must be especially pronounced in such a community-oriented country as the Philippines! Africa, too.
      I hope you sign up for my newsletter so we can stay in touch ( http://eepurl.com/ca2mJr ) I offer lots of encouragement and inspiration, with a dash of blossomy blessings 🙂
      Take good care of yourself,

  22. Hello, Laurie

    So pleased that I have found your website! I’m completeing a ‘Pet Bereavement Counselling Diploma’ so your pages are very good for my research. I thought about setting up a support / self -help group for folk after losing their pets, so all this is really ahandy. Still miss my Border Collie, Mirk – 2 years on- but moving onto more positive aspects. So far, I have conducted 2 ‘Pets in the Park’ services to give thanks and remeber pets no longer with us! I wrote a book about him, published, andintend to write more articles.
    Bless you & many thanks,

  23. Sorry, Laurie…I see you reply …very nicely, too…). Ok, here goes…please, I’m not looking for counseling (I’m one already, but an “ear” would be sweet!) :
    My State *** July/ 2018

    ***** I am 70 years young (although I can feel me “ebbing”)
    ***** I have been essentially alone most of that time period
    ***** As of now, I have given away my 4 month Aussie dog
    ***** The basic reasons are bathroom habits and chewing
    ***** This has a double effect that puts me in great misery
    ***** My 6 words: “I sacrificed joy to eliminate detriment”
    ***** I feel awful and my present mind knows what I mean
    ***** I am blessed with much that any person would envy
    ***** Even then, I still am an empty person with no friends
    ***** So, as I write this, I am perplexed and so melancholy
    ***** I envision “up” days and “down” days in my recovery
    ***** Why must I have to give up a gift to solve a problem?
    ***** My biggest frustration is that I have brought this on
    ***** This has made me be the judge, jury and executioner
    ***** In my next life: Study and open my veterinary practice

    Thank you so much, Laurie

    1. Thanks for sharing this glimpse into who you are, Clay! So great to hear from you.
      But I wish it was under happier circumstances – I know the pain of giving a dog away. It must be so hard for you…and the grief doesn’t just “go away.” Healing takes time, and so does forgiveness and acceptance. Forgiving ourselves and not succumbing to the pain and shame really is a constant battle – but it does get easier with time.
      May you find hope and healing, love and joy in unexpected places! May those bouts of melancholy be few and far between, and the uplifting thoughts be abundant in your life.
      Sign up for my free newsletter – I send weekly encouragement that will help you grow forward when you can’t go back.

  24. Wow Laurie
    As I read your life changing blog I find myself relating so much! I am a 29 year old Social Worker and you have truly inspired me in so many ways!! I’ve always wanted to start writing and truly you have given me all the hope I needed. You have reminded me of what I was created for. Throughout my profession I have always wanted to make that difference in the lives of “The broken Woman” by helping them realize the Strength and Beauty that lies deep within them. I thank the Almighty for you!! I LoVe YoU!!! May God bless you with good health, more joy, peace and prosperity so you can continue touching lives!!

    Thank You for sharing the wisdom God has blessed you with!

  25. Thanks for your article about feeling like nobody cares. I am going through some medical stuff and feeling let down by the people in my life. I also have a pattern of choosing selfish people (childhood abandonment issues) so your story and wisdom resonates. I will get through my Dr, appt today. I will get through this day. I will accept that sometimes people can’t show up the way we need/want them to.

    I will survive. Your wise words will help me.

    God bless!

  26. Hi Blossom,

    Looking for tips to market my first poetry book. I am a published poet and author. I love Jesus. It is all about him. I have a website, two actually. I love writing and publishing children’s picture books. I am married to a Jewish believer. He loves Jesus. I write because that is what God has led me to do and he has given me this gift I think, to help people and to glorify him. And also because he wants to bless me. I find myself a believer in a haiku world…a sort of accidental evangelist. My website is about hope and healing through reading and writing haiku. although Jesus is the hope and the healing… I am still developing my voice…I look forward to your blog posts and your knowledge about writing. It wasn’t a coincidence that I found you 😉


    1. Congratulations on your first poetry book, Susan – that’s awesome! What an accomplishment. And it sounds like such a beautiful, inspiring book that glorifies God. He created poetry and haikus, just like He created us 🙂 I believe your poems will offer help and healing to those who need it most. How wonderful.

      Marketing isn’t my thing — and in fact, I’m struggling with the exact same problem! I’m working on a Marketing Plan for Growing Forward When You Can’t Go Back, and it’s hard. Well, it’s not hard as in brain surgery, but it’ll take time and energy to promote my book. And all I want to do is write my next book: She Blossoms at Sea.

      Here are the resources I’ve been using:
      https://www.novelmarketing.com/ (I love their podcast!)

      And there are more resources here: http://loripuma.com/blog/podcasts-help-you-write-publish-and-promote-your-first-novel-in-2018

      Good luck, Susan….and stay in touch! Post your website or blog; I’d love to know more about you and your book 🙂


  27. Hola Laurie!
    i enjoyed your blog. My name is Walquiria Ochoa from Honduras (Central America). I was searching for some prayers today since i was feeling sad. Your tips really gave me another vision.
    have a great day and keep writing for others.


    1. Thank you, Walky – it’s great to hear from you. I’m sorry you were feeling sad, but glad you were searching for prayers. God is guiding your life. Trust Him, and you will Blossom into who He created you to be!
      I’ve never been to Honduras, but I did visit Nicaragua once. And Costa Rica. Such a beautiful part of the world. I’m glad you found me; I hope you sign up for our She Blossoms newsletter so you stay connected.
      May God keep you safe, and bless you with an adventurous life filled with love, joy and peace. And leaps of faith 🙂

  28. I am so happy I found you! It seems as though meaningful relationships in my life are changing, seeming distant and I feel lonely about that. As soon as I read, be kind to yourself, care for yourself, a light shone through. I need to remember that I am worth caring about, that I have value, that it is ok for me to let go of relationships that are not good for me. This is not easy for me, though, as my pattern is to keep trying to connect with persons who don’t seem that interested in connecting with me. Then, I begin to feel badly about myself, wondering what is wrong with me, what am I missing. I want to change this and feel good about myself. Your comment about mourning losses struck a cord with me. I realize I need to do that also.

    1. Thank you, Carylle – I’m so glad you’re here! I hope you signed up for my weekly She Blossoms newsletter, so we can stay connected. My purpose is to help women walk through loss into the new season God has planned, and I think we’d be good at walking together 🙂

      Here’s the link to sign up, just in case:

      Take good care of yourself, for you are worth taking good care of!


  29. Hi Laurie!

    I loved your article about turning 40. I’ll be 40 myself next week, and many of the things you said were exactly what I needed to hear. I felt like someone had given me a big hug after reading it. 😊

    Thank you so much!

    1. Thank you, Joya — and happy birthday!! I loved being 40, and 44, and 47 🙂 Now I’m 48, and I’m already excited about turning 50.
      Though, I have to say, 40 doesn’t sound near as old as 50. So, enjoy your 40s while they last!

  30. Hi Laurie. I’m glad to have stumbled across your blogs. God has really led you on a amazing path. Been married 11 years (almost) and have 11 year old son. Known my husband since 1984, we saw “Back to the Future” on one of our first dates. We were baptized believers in 2007. I grew up in a agnostic family, my parents always going to Las Vegas every Christmas cause my mom hated it. I had a daughter my senior year of HS (she’s 30 now) and married a “nice guy” who was more like a funny, big kid and I wasn’t laughing anymore after 6 years of marriage with him. My dad died in 2002 and I became depressed, dark and reckless. I didn’t have God in my life and I went into a downward spiral. Drugs, alcohol came into the picture. I divorced my first husband to marry my first boyfriend (my current husband) he also was a 10 year heroin addict but came from a good family and had spiritual battles. End up pregnant (my daughter was 19) and went to get an abortion. Literally sat in a chair after watching a video of how the procedure is done and was supposed to take a pill to soften my cervix. I heard voices, like those cartoons with a devil on one shoulder telling me to do it, that I can’t go through this again, I’m too old, I have no insurance, I don’t want to give up this lifestyle, he won’t be there for you, it’s just a glob of tissue and won’t feel it. The angel on my other shoulder said you can’t go through this, your not a murderer, your baby will feel the pain being ripped apart, if you do it, you wont be able to live with yourself, everything will be ok, trust me. I ended up refusing the pill, walking out and said “God, do with me what you will”. I cannot believe how deceived I even was to coming so close to getting an abortion. I cleaned up my act and had a healthy 9lb 1oz boy in Mar 2007. My husband proposed and we married Sep 2007. He cleaned up his act around 2009. He started taking Suboxone, with is suppose to help with withdrawals. (I never tried heroin so I don’t know) he switched from smoking to vaping, he started listening to conspiracy theories and slowly transformed into a different person other than I married. Communication stops when I don’t agree with his newfound beliefs of 9/11 inside job, flat earth, chemtrails, Sandy”hoax”shooting, etc. We stopped going to church together. Haven’t gone since Easter. We’ve done marriage builders in 2012-13, crisis marriage counseling in 2016 and 7 months of weekly/bi-monthly couples therapy last year. Each time it gets better but then he withdrawals back onto his cellphone and spends countless hours after work on it. I make dinner, he gets a plate and takes it back to bedroom to eat. I try to nicely ask him to eat with me in living room (forget the kitchen, we haven’t done that in years) and he refuses because he’s watching “something” on his phone. Feeling anger, I say “well haven’t you been watching something ever since you came home from work 4 hours ago?” He says “shut up”, “get out of here”. That was 5 days ago. I sleep on the couch every night. I’m depressed, angry, hopeless, worthless and unloved. He won’t go back to marriage counseling, he says it doesn’t “work”. I wrote him a note yesterday and left it on the bed before I had to work. I said marriage counseling only works if you use the tools they gave us EVERYDAY. Even if it’s only 15 minutes. I told him my heart is broken. My love tank is empty. He wouldn’t even look at me or speak to me after I came home from work. I feel so lonely. So confused. So empty. My only reason I stay in this hellish marriage is for health insurance and for my son, I planned on serving 7 more years of my “sentence” (until my son turns 18) so there’s no custody fights but I don’t know if I can even do that anymore. I am a “single married” woman. I hate divorce cause I already went through that once and now I know God hates divorce. So confused. 🙁

    1. Hi Jody,

      Thank you for opening up and sharing your heart here. It takes alot of courage and strength to share your true feelings, and I can see how much you’re hurting. It sounds like you’ve been through so much in your marriage and life! I’m sorry you’re going through this, and wish I had the miracle cure.

      I hope you keep in touch – I send my “She Blossoms” email every week. I offer encouragement and hope, inspiration and warmth 🙂 It’s all I have to offer, and it might help you through the valley.

      Join us by signing up here: http://eepurl.com/ca2mJr.

      Take good care of yourself, Jody, for you are worth taking good care of.


  31. Dear Laurie,

    Inspirational! Laurie, reading your write ups is really encouraging. I am also a woman of faith who has gone through a lot of challenges in life. i also love to write and encourage people, especially on family related issues. I however began to loose interest after i wrote my first ever published book; “THE MONSTER CALLED DIVORCE: THE GREATEST TRAGEDY OF MODERN-DAY FAMILIES.”

    Thank you Laurie i am re-energized after reading about you. I can make it if you did by the grace of God.


  32. Hello Laurie.

    Greeting to a fellow believer.

    I began writing a few years ago after my wife signed me up for classes at UCLA extension courses. What an experience. I have written three novels so far (working on a forth) and saving money to get them edited.
    My wife and I are both just under sixty. Together we do not have children although I do have children from a previous marriage. They adore my wife and have called her mom since day one. (no prompting by me).
    We produced a t.v. pilot several years ago called “A Week With My Father”. It won one of the top three awards given at the New York Television festival in 2011.
    My wife is currently working on her second master’s program. This one is at Claremont Graduate University in Art and Business in collaberation with Sotheby’s Institute. An amazing lady that grew up in Watts California.
    I graduated from the University of Idaho with a BS in business. Ten years later I graduated from Art Center College of Design in Pasadena.
    We both have worked on films for over twenty five years. I have worked on over sixty feature films.
    Anyway, all of that said, I find your website very helpful. I think it is benefitial to both sexes and not just women so of course I requested
    to follow you on facebook.
    Great work. Now I have to read some of your writing. The teacher in you shines through on your website.
    May God richly bless you and keep you and your husband.

    Patrick House
    website coming soon.

    1. Great to hear from you, Patrick, thank you for being here. It sounds like your writing — and your life — has been so interesting and fulfilling! And your wife is one smart lady…after all, she chose to marry you 🙂

      The best way to stay connected is through my weekly Blossom Tips email. Yes, my articles are definitely for both men and women, but the Facebook group is a ladies only thing. I hope you understand! And, I really hope you sign up; here’s the link:

      I send the newsletter on Wednesdays, and love hearing back from readers. Hopefully, I’ll hear from you again! I’d love to see your website. Don’t forget to pop over and paste the link here when it’s live.

      Blessings in Him,

  33. Edward & Susan Johnston

    Hello My Wife and I are also childless we suffered miscarriges and the loss of a 5 month old boy, our pets are our kids we recently had an outside kitten pass away and before we could bury her something drug her off, we want to honor her but what do we do we can’t bury her we don’t know where she is, we put a memorial by her brothers grave, we know you don’t give advice but how do we honor her without her body? Any special ideas or prayers to say would help, we know she is with Jesus but just trying to feel less horrible about what happened, Thank You and may heaven bless you.

    1. Dear Edward and Susan,

      I’m so sorry for the losses you’ve faced. It’s always painful to lose ones we love, and it sounds like you’ve had your fair share, haven’t you? My heart goes out to you and your wife.

      I’m just now updating my pet loss ebook, and it will include a section on honoring lost animals without their actual bodies. What a tragic situation.

      Please stay in touch by signing up for my weekly Blossom Tips updates. Next week, I’ll share the pet loss ebook links. Here’s the link to my weekly updates:


      In sympathy, with the love of Jesus,

  34. Hi Laurie,

    I found your blog last night and have enjoyed it so much today (which happens to Resurrection Day and the end of Pesach)! Your posts were really ministering to my heart and mind, and then I saw that your dad is Israeli! My family is Israeli as well. I’ve been living in Jerusalem since 2009, and my husband since 1999. He’s Messianic Jewish. We’re both believers – I’m not Jewish though. We are both originally from the US, and made Aliyah. I’m currently one of the contributors over at KindredGrace.com and I write a monthly column for a publication out of my home town in North Carolina, SAVED News, about my many adventures in here in Israel. Stop by Kindred Grace sometime and see what we’re doing over here! One of our ladies is also from BC, perhaps you’ll cross paths with her at home, and me on a visit to see your father sometime!

    Love and Shalom!!

    1. Thanks Callie; it’s great to hear from you! I can’t wait to explore Kindred Grace – and maybe we’ll meet in person one day. You never know what the future holds; our God is full of surprises!

  35. Dear Abby,

    Yes, you have my permission to reprint reproduce an abridged version of my article “Habits of Healthy Families” in the Grade 8 English textbook.

    Funnily enough, I taught Grade 8 English for 3 years when I lived in Africa! 🙂


  36. Laurie, thank you for putting your faith out there, in word and action! It’s very inspiring. I’m seeking God’s best will for my work as an introverted Christian counselor (LCPC-c). Your article encouraged me not to give up searching, or to take a job that doesn’t suit the woman God in His wisdom created me to be. Blessings to you, Theresa

  37. Hi, Laurie.

    I’ve been looking for a way to contact you, but it seems that your blog is the only way I can get in touch with you. I’m Abby from the Philippines and a co-author of an English textbook series for junior high school.

    I’m writing because I want to ask your permission to reproduce an abridged version of your article “Habits of Healthy Families” that was published in Reader’s Digest Canada. We hope to include it in our Grade 8 English textbook as it perfectly fits our unit theme on sustaining family ties and will provide students with an authentic text.

    If you grant us your permission, rest assured that proper attribution will be provided. The link to the article will also be indicated on the same page the article appears.

    Please let me know if you have concerns or questions about this request.

    As early as now, I want to sincerely thank you. God bless, Laurie. 🙂

  38. I live in the Hamptons, Long Island, New York.
    I am most grateful for the roof over my head, the money in my pocket, and my children (so generic of an answer)
    I wish I was upstate New York in Woodstock being a free peaceful, carefree Hippie-Chick.
    No, I am pretty miserable, and actually dread getting up in the morning, sleep is a relief.

    – Lauren

  39. Dear Kara,

    I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through – it’s sad when you love cats so much, and yet you’re allergic to them. It wouldn’t be good for you to have Tobi, yet you want him so bad. I feel for you – I can tell how upset you are! I would be, too. I hear you, and I really do feel your pain.

    May you find peace and joy, even without Tobi. I’ll keep you in my prayers. May you trust God, and believe that even though this doesn’t feel like the best thing for you…maybe for some reason it is. I remember when my husband and I found out we couldn’t have kids, and I was so heartbroken. But I held on to my faith, that for some reason it’s better for us this way. I don’t know why these sad things happen.

    Take care of yourself. Seek peace and joy, and hold on to the good in your life.


    1. Laurie,

      I love your blog -it’s such a Godsend to find something I can call home on the internet 🙂

      I wanted to ask you about something to do with my career, as I think I am a serious introvert, meaning for me that having to do fun things at the office that isn’t anything to do with getting the work done would not be something I’d want to get into

      I need a job that won’t stress me out like this and where it’s a huge MUST to have to chit-chat about everything and anything with my colleagues :/ I really find small talk so boring and feel drained when I have to put on this mask all the time around them

      Do you have any way I can contact you to talk about this issue I have?

      1. Dear Lauren,

        Thank you for being here, and for your kind words! I’m so glad you found something on Blossom that inspires you – it sounds like you found one of my articles about introverts at work.

        I can’t offer advice or in-person feedback, but you may find it helpful to post your questions here or on one of my articles. I might have some ideas or thoughts to share — but I’m just a writer, not a coach or counselor. I can’t give you the supportive ear you need.

        You may find that writing about your struggles is helpful in surprising ways, especially if you write to God! Take time to express your thoughts and feelings, and listen to that still small voice inside of you. You may be surprised at the depth of wisdom and clarity you find!


  40. Hello Laurie, I’m 14 years old and I love Jesus and I have a situation where we were gonna get this cat Tobi and then I was all excited and then I went in for cat allergy tests 2 days before we were gonna get the cat… And then I found out I’m allergic to cats and it’s been super hard for me cause I’ve met Tobi I love Tobi and I can’t seem to get over this like I’m thinking how did this happen? Everything was going so smoothly I keep telling myself just move on with life but this cat meant so much to me and Im not sure how to handle it. My mom doesn’t want a rodent but we have a dog and chickens already but I don’t know how to handle this like I’m so emotional.

  41. Laurie,
    If I could have an ounce of your joy today I would be thankful, and after reading your story, I feel like I am getting there! Thank you for sharing your life in this blog!! I found an article of yours about a year ago amd was rereading it today realizing I don’t remember about the author of it. I shared a comment on that article because my heart has been so heavy, joyless and I just feel in a rut emotionally and spiritually. I am also 46, childless, but have felt alone in my marriage most of it. I have put off so many things (a career, education included) waiting to even persue having a family. I am encouraged by your joy that comes through your writing and will keep reading (and praying) to turn the page on a new chapter in my life 😉 Blessings, Tracy

  42. Hi Laurie! Thank God I found this site! I’m Nymfa, 47 and a freelance writer/editor from the Philippines. I made it to attend a conference in Texas and stay with my sister and her family for the Thanksgiving holiday last year.

    I was hoping to promote my book Rediscovering Your Intelligence in that Christian conference I attended with my pastor and church leaders but to my disappointment, my pastor and I didn’t make it on stage. Sad to say, my expectation to be debt free after my US trip was not met. But I still believe God has his purpose that’s intended for good (Rom. 8:28). I’m also praying to come back to the US soon provided the opportunity.

    Since I don’t currently have a full-time online job and only maintaining the opinion section of a site called Parent Herald, what I’m passionate about is to start a travel blog. And so, I have been searching on tips on how to monetize a blog and just what are the types of blog that really earn.

    I would have converted my WordPress free blog into a premium or business plan. I just can’t afford it at the moment.

  43. Hi Laurie. Your blog looks very interesting. I don’t know how I ended up finding it, but it seems exactly what I need right now. I was married for twenty years in what I thought was a great marriage. One day my husband came home and told me he wanted out, and didn’t love me. He actually said he never loved me. We have two adopted children because we weren’t able to have our own either. Anyways it’s been a crippling year and a half, but life goes on. This spring break my kids and I are going away to Cuba. It’s our first family trip without their dad. Typically he planned everything and would organized the whole trip, by his choice. Now I’m in charge and feeling very insecure. My daughter is fine, but my son has extreme behavioural problems. He can be quite a handful. Luckily we are going to an all inclusive, which isn’t our normal way of traveling, but under the circumstances I think it will make my life easier. Please wish me luck. I know in life sometimes things are put there to make us grow, I guess this will be one of those things. Keep up the good work.

  44. Hi Laurie!
    Sometime in the last month i was bitten by the writing bug and ruined a few keyboards pounding out an article that I just couldn’t resist writing. I did all my research and, as it was on a judicial subject, had my father the lawyer proof read it for logical and legal reasoning, and my retired instructor mother read it for clarity, and they both loved it. I thought to myself ‘This is great!’ and set out trying to find an editor to pitch it to.
    Well, as you might have guessed, it’s been a rocky road. I’d sent out over a dozen ‘pitches’ with no responses and all the while i was tweaking the query letter trying to get someone to show some kind of interest in my idea. Today i finally got my first reply, and though the editor passed on my idea, i was exultant. “Honey!” i shouted to my wife, “I got my first rejection! Hurray!” I was so happy i actually sent the editor a note thanking him for responding to my pitch.
    Sensing an impending breakthrough, i let my enthusiasm take over and started scouring the internet for better ways to get the attention of editors the world over when i happened upon your “10 Writing Tips” which by natural progression took me to your ” How To Write a Query Letter…” article and it was there that i struck gold. You were 100% right in saying nothing is really new anymore, but the way it’s written and the manner it’s pitched is where the cream rises to the top. I will find a way to get my article published, and the next one too.
    And then, doggone it, i had to go and read up on you a little bit, just to see where this great advice is coming from. Imagine my surprise when i read a few of the letters to you and your replies and found you to be a very caring and insightful person…especially for an editor. 🙂 I hope that you and your husband and your dogs and your cats are having a wonderful life up there in the land of the freeze.
    Should you ever feel bored, i would value your critique and guidance should you choose, but if not i do understand. I’m a builder by trade and i can’t go into anyone’s house house without being asked how to fix this, or add to that…sigh! But i do thank you for the wonderful articles you wrote and and wanted to let you know you are making the world a better place.

  45. Hi Laurie!

    My name is Cynthia & I found you through an article you wrote on Emotionally Unavailable Men & it hit home for me with a brief relationship I ended for myself that I no longer could be in….And did major healing with…was a gift in many ways…

    I live in Laguna Beach, CA & am in the midst of following my Heart/intuition on living my life….in my terms, even though I have my fears…that ‘walking through my fears & doing them anyway?’

    Am choosing what it is to be happy inside me…every day…every moment, combined with trusting I’m supported with choices I make, walking my Unknown journey…

    Thank YOU, Laurie, for being here & sharing your insights…wisdom….

  46. Hello Judy,

    I am so sorry for your loss. The ebook should have been automatically sent right away; I just now emailed it to you.

    May your heart heal, and may you move forward in peace. I know this is easier said than done, and I believe that we never fully heal or recover from losing an animal we love. But, hopefully the ebook will bring you some comfort by showing you that you’re not alone, and help you see how others cope with pet loss.

    In sympathy,

  47. I ordered an ebook titled “How to Heal Your Heart After Losing Your Pet” and the money was taken from the account but I did not receive the ebook.

  48. Dear Rai,

    I am so proud of you! It takes a lot of courage and strength to talk about what you’ve been facing for the past 20 years. I see so much insight and hope in the comments you made. I feel your strength – even though you may not feel strong or confident.

    You have come a long way, and you have the potential to change your life. Or, you can choose to stay where you are.

    I’m not an advice-giver, but I had to write an article for you and other women in a similar situation (because you are not alone!).

    On Getting Away From an Abusive Husband After 20 Years of Marriage

    You’re in my prayers. May you find wisdom and guidance, hope and healing, strength and courage. And may you listen to that still small voice inside of you, that is telling you what you need to do. May you acknowledge your fears, and move forward no matter how scared you are.


    1. Hi Laurie it’s kinda funny I found you.i called a therapist today for an appointment to talk. I want to leave this relationship once and for all. I’ve left several times before and always went back he lewered me back.he has ptsd from war and I don’t know what else he has.im Now 63 and just want out once again.when ever I think things seem normal he starts up his crazy again calling me names etc. No physical abuse just mental emotional abuse.i do get ssd but I refuse to leave all my stuff because he sells it. I just can’t take this any longer. I know you don’t give advice.maybe a blog to talk to other women.

  49. I have been with my husband since i was 18 , im 38 now . He started abusing me then and i stayed and now he graduated from physical to mental and verbal . I get ignored most of the time . We stopped doing things together and he took me off of our joint bank account . We have 3 kids , 19 , 12 and 4 . My oldest is also an abuser now and is in counseling . I believe it is my fault my son turned out like his father . I do not want to be 40 years old , financially dependent on him and still being abused but i am scared . Im not sure what im scared of , being alone or having it worse off then if i would of stayed . It does finally feel good to at least tell someone my deepest secret which is i am being abused . I am embarrassed . I have zero self esteem or confidence . I can not even concentrate to finish school i dropped out of college . I have a little voice in my head telling me to leave then fear sets in . Thank you to whoever is listening .

  50. Thanks so much Laurie. I’m sure you’ve heard it a thousand times, but your gentle, positive words have brought me comfort and given me a sense of hope I did not have before. Please keep bringing your light to the world. It is truly a gift you have!

  51. Dear Gill,

    It’s great to hear from you… But I wish we were talking under better circumstances! Telling people that you have decided to rehome your dog is hard. There is no way to sugarcoat it. People don’t really understand how painful it is to give up a dog, and what leads people to make this difficult decision. Dog lovers don’t understand because they love dogs! People who don’t have pets don’t understand because… Well maybe they understand a bit better. But still, it’s not easy for people to accept.

    That said, however, everybody that I’ve told in person has been very understanding, probably because I lead with the problems I was having with my dog, Jazz. I said (and still say) that I felt horrible and heartsick about having to give her up, but I couldn’t handle her. I just could not take care of her the way she needed me to. So I had to let her go. It still stings after four years, to tell you the truth, but I had to do it.

    Gill, I think you’ll have to accept that people aren’t going to love the fact that you gave (or are giving) Alfie away. But this is a decision you made, and you need to find a way to be comfortable with it. If you are comfortable with this decision – even though it is incredibly painful, I know! – then people will receive the news comfortably. By “comfortable” I don’t mean light-hearted or joyful…I just mean that you are settled and peaceful with the decision.

    I hope this helps, and I wish I could support you better! But you’re making this decision for the right reasons, and it’s important that you don’t let other people’s opinions and feelings affect how you feel about yourself or your decisions in life.

    Easier said than done, I know. But you can’t live your life based on what other people think you should do, can you?

    Take good care of yourself, for you are worth taking good care of!


  52. Hi Laurie
    Read your post on giving up your dog . I too am in a position that I have decided to rehome my dog {a springer spaniel with boundless energy} I live on my own{UK] and have struggled this passed year. Alfie is adorable but my circumstances are complicated .. 2 elderly parents who need my assistance and are becoming more dependent , I work 1 afternoon a week and although I do have a good friend who tries to have him when she can but due to commitments at work often is unable to help out.
    Reading your post made me laugh and cry all at the same time. Even though I know in my head it would be the right thing to do , my heart tells another story. Pressure from others too play a part as I’m told ‘ but he’s lovely …such a clever dog… Isn’t he a handsome boy’. Yes he’s all these things but he is also very hard work and he needs at least 2 good walks a day . These comments make me feel really guilty resulting in putting the dreaded day off…. You see I love my dog and my reasons for giving him up are true and sincere.. I believe he would, with the right family ,have a much more fulfilled life and that is all I want for him.
    I know you don’t give advice. I just think I am reaching out for a hand to hold and for someone to say everything will be alright It’s the guilt I am having difficulty with and explaining to others the reasons behind my decision . Thank you for taking the time to read this .Sent with love x

  53. Hi Katie,

    I wrote that article on May 27, 2013. What’s your assignment about, and how did you refer to my blog post? I’m curious what you’re writing about!

    All good things,

  54. Hi Laurie,
    I’m an undergraduate using one of your blogs in my assignment and i have to use a Harvard referencing system, I’d like to know if you know when you wrote your blog on “how to cope when your ex finds a new girlfriend” – http://howloveblossoms.com/ex-has-new-girlfriend/ – just so you know which one I’m talking about. Many thanks, kind regards, Katie. York, England.

  55. Hi Tish,

    A bracelet is a lovely gift for your niece; I hope you find the right one! I think it might be easier to have a custom silver bracelet made for her, with the engraving that you want.

    “You are braver than you believe and stronger than you feel” and an inspirational and encouraging message. Here’s a link to a page on Amazon that offers bracelets with custom messages:

    I think most jewelers and online jewelry stores – even Etsy – would offer this service. This might be even more special for your niece, for you could include her name on the message!

    I hope this helps, and will keep your family in my prayers,

  56. I recently read an article on 17 Gifts for a Women that has gone through a double mastectomy. One of the gifts was a beautiful silver bracelet with the quote: “you are braver than you believe and stronger than you feel”. I love that quote and want to get my niece that to help in her recovery, but all I can find are bracelets with this quote: “You are braver than you believe Stronger than you seem and Smarter than you think”.

    I am hoping you are one of your followers can help me find that bracelet.

  57. Hi Laurie!
    I’ve been reading your musings for quite some time now and I love your angle on any topic that you touch 🙂
    I recently decided to get a guest post published at RD.com and I was wondering if you can help me get through to an editor.
    Thanks in advance!


  58. Sure, Barb, you have permission to publish my article about office politics on your blog. Your website looks awesome, by the way! Well done. 🙂

  59. Hello Laurie! I write a career blog and have been in practice as a career coach and writer for 30 years. I love your 9 tips for office politics. May I have your permission to put on my blog with full attribution to you, of course! Thank you! Barb Poole, Hire Imaging LLC

  60. Dear Gulla,

    I don’t personally have a fund to help women, but I believe there is assistance available, depending on where you live! Here’s a starting point:

    What You Need to Know When You Call a Shelter or Safe House


    How to Leave Your Husband When You Have No Money

    What options have you already explored, and what was the response when you asked about funding?

    – Laurie

  61. Hi Laurie, I really love your Quips and Tips blog and wonder if you still accept submissions. Perhaps financial tips from an accountant? Thank you

  62. Thanks for being here, Laura, it’s great to hear from you! It sounds like you have many passions, and a very interesting life 🙂

    May God bless your blog and writing career. It’s an exciting journey, and I hope you enjoy every step! It’ll be full of ups and downs, peaks and valleys….but if you enjoy the journey, you’ll find peace and joy in every step.


  63. Hi Laurie, My name is Laura and I am a fellow Christian and found your site a while back and was going through my favorites and wanted to comment. I am on my early roads into blogging and writing for my second career. I am an educator (elementary ed) by trade with 2 years left before retiring from my first profession. So I have spent several years, summers and nights, researching my this new world. I am also married, my DH and I have no children as we were almost 40 before marrying for the first time, but we have 28+ nieces and nephews, so family is scattered around America. We are in our mid-50s (celebrating 20 years of marriage next June) and have many animals, one dog and three cats inside, with 5 feral cats outside. My passions are God, health (a wannabe gardener that hates varmits that are ponies or sting), writing, travel, animals, friendships, and reading. And I always read bios of folks that I want to follow to see what their lives are like. Wow, you have had quite an interesting childhood and God has granted you much peace through all that you have gone through. I traveled until I was six, when my Dad retiring from the US Navy. My mom was sickly and sorta went to bed when I was 12 or so, so that the boys and I went to talk with her in bed for a lot of growing up years. She would make our meals, but mostly I remember her being in bed and dad working a lot. I went to church with friends and went on vacations with friends and that is how I came to know Jesus. Then God took me by the hand and i prayed for 30 years for my Dad’s salvation and He answered that prayer, when one day I got a call from my Mom that my Dad had something to tell me. He had accepted Christ as Lord and Savior. I apologize, I don’t normally write a book when commenting on a blog. I just liked your open-ness and wanted to share. I hope to learn much from you. Thank you.