Spirit > Becoming > What to Do When You Feel Confused and Scared

What to Do When You Feel Confused and Scared

If you let confusion stop you from growing forward, you’re destined to fail! Here’s how to cope when you feel confused about life – whether you’re confused because of rejection, death, disappointment or heartbreak.

Maybe you don’t understand why you were born the way you were, into the family you have, in the country you live.

Maybe you’re like me, and feel confused about life a lot. I actually used to be much more confused. It helped to face the disappointment, anger, and grief I felt about my childhood. I made peace with my life; it was hard but good. These days I get confused about God and life in this world! I don’t know why we’re here or what it’ll be like after we die…but I do know we’re here for a reason. Stick with me if you feel confused about your life. We’ll walk through it together.

You are here — both on this earth and on my She Blossoms blog — for a reason. You matter. Every bit of you is important to God: your doubts, confusions, fears, weaknesses, mistakes, regrets, struggles, griefs and problems. Everything about you matters to Him, even when you feel confused about your life.

In What to Do When You Hear God Calling – Step 7 I wrote about hearing God’s voice and walking forward in faith. This morning while reading Genesis 10 I realized that God doesn’t always call audibly…and He doesn’t always tell us the exact next step to take.

In fact, God can be downright confusing, even aggravating! So what do you do when you believe in Him — and you know Jesus is the only source of life and truth — yet you don’t know what to do with your life?

When You Feel Confused About Your Life

This article is part of my She Blossoms Through the Bible project. I’m writing an article for every chapter in every book of the Bible. This article — When You Feel Confused About Your Life is inspired by Genesis 10. In this article, we get a glimpse of God’s personal attributes and His relationship with Noah. And we’ll find proof that we matter to God more than we know.

This is one of the articles I’ve been dreading. I knew one day I’d have to write a blog post about a Bible book I didn’t understand or felt confused by…and that day has come. Leviticus and Numbers will be more difficult to write about; Genesis 10 is a good warm-up exercise.

About God

1. God heaps freedom on us. Genesis 10 is known as the Table of Nations because it briefly describes how Noah’s descendants spread out across the world (the ancient Near East in particular). It’s a long genealogy, which I found confusing and boring. I kept reminding myself that this book is about people’s lives — and they mattered! What really resounded with me, however, was their freedom to move around the earth, procreate, and make lives of their own. God gave these men and women freedom to choose where to live, what language to speak, and what culture to develop. Freedom is a sign of love, and it’s so important to God.

When You Feel Confused About Your Life2. God throws us into totally new worlds. God is no stranger to change! He is always calling His people out into different clans, cities, countries, cultures. The deeper I get into Genesis, the more I believe that God loves change. He loves resilience, adaptability, flexibility because it helps people grow. Look at His earth: after a flood comes new plants, after fire is regrowth, after death is life. It’s normal for me and you to feel confused about life because we’re constantly facing new situations, trials, challenges, and adventures. But God doesn’t drop us into new situations and abandon us. He brings us into new worlds — like He did with Noah’s descendants in Genesis 10 — and walks with us through life.

3. God is complex, multilayered, mysterious. Genesis 10 is a good example of how mysterious God is…and, yes, how confusing. He doesn’t lay out the Bible in a perfectly clear way so we can all agree and understand how life works. God doesn’t explain Himself or argue about His existence. He didn’t force people to believe in Biblical times, and He doesn’t force us to believe new. God is comfortable being unknowable and complex…yet He wants to be known and loved. Yes, this is confusing! But it is life for a believer.

Read Genesis 10. There is one man who stands out to me: Nimrod, who was a powerful hunter in the sight of the Lord. What made him so mighty, do you think?

About You and Me

1. We focus on confusion, not freedom. I believe God doesn’t have “one perfect plan” for my life. I believe He wants to break my self-centered will, transform my heart, and grow me into the woman He created me to be. I believe He gives me new life, joy, peace, forgiveness and love through Jesus Christ. I believe God blesses my choices and activities when I seek His guidance through the Holy Spirit. He gives us freedom to choose who to marry, where to live, how to spend money, and where to work. When we feel confused about life — or we feel life has no purpose or meaning — it’s because we’re not focusing on Him. We’re focusing on ourselves, the problem, the world.

2. We are wired to do specific things. Genesis 6-9 tells us how Noah built the ark so he and his family could escape the flood. God chose Noah to build the ark because Noah was wired with specific characteristics! God didn’t tell Noah’s neighbor, son, wife, or cousin to build the ark. God wired me to write, wander the earth, watch and think. God wired you in specific ways. When you feel confused about your life, it’s because you’re not focusing on how God wired you. You’re listening to the wrong voices.

3. We don’t enter strange new worlds. I went to Haiti on a medical missions trip a few years ago, and hated it. I liked being in Haiti but disliked flushing children’s ears, administering needles, taking blood samples, and doing saliva tests. I am not wired for medical work — but I’m thankful I went on that trip because it taught me more about myself, short-term missions work, Haiti, and God. I couldn’t wait to get out of that strange new world, but I’m so glad I entered it. When you feel confused about life, enter a strange new world. Let it show you who you are, how you’re wired, and what God might bless in your life.

When You Feel Confused About Your Life

Growing Forward She Blossoms Laurie Pawlik1. Tackle something you can’t do alone. This “She Blossoms Through the Bible” project is the biggest, scariest, most uncomfortable writing project I’ve ever started. It’s even more important and meaningful to me than writing Growing Forward When You Can’t Go Back for a publisher! I don’t know how I’ll ever write 1,189 articles. What if I abandon the project midway through the Bible, or even midway through Genesis? What if I’m twisting God’s word, spinning Scripture to say what I want it to say instead of what God actually intended? What if I don’t point to Jesus enough?

I can’t do this project alone. I often feel confused because it isn’t just a strange new world…it’s a strange new life! So I take my confusion to Jesus. I acknowledge that I’ll make mistakes, misrepresent the word of God, and maybe even offend or anger people. I trust the Holy Spirit to give me strength and courage to write one article every day, and I accept that feeling confused about life is part of the deal.

What about you — what do you feel confused about? Is your life rough or boring, scary or sad? Your thoughts — big and little — are welcome below.

With His love,


P.S. If you’re struggling with a difficult decision or starting a new season in life, read An Easy Way to Stop Overthinking God’s Will.


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