Your cat isn’t “just a cat” – so don’t let anyone make you feel foolish about the grief you feel after your cat dies. If you feel like you’ll never get over your cat’s death, you’re not alone. I know how you feel — and so does my reader, SG.
Here’s what she says about her cat’s recent death:
“I lost my 22 year old beloved feline friend three months ago and I’m completely heartbroken,” says SG on Healing Your Heart When You Miss Your Cat. “We spent almost every night and day together. My heart, soul and life feels dark: an eternal night. My girl was unwell for many years, but we always found a way though… I always thought our love would defy death, but it didn’t. She has helped me through my own difficulties, but more than that, she is the best friend I’ve ever had, and will ever have.”
I’ve said good-bye to four cats, and I’ll never ever forget two of them. Fluffy and Zoey touched my heart deeply, and I expect I’ll see them in Heaven someday! I believe we’ll be reunited with our kindred spirits after we die — and our beloved cats are kindred spirits.
I know it’s not easy to lose your cat, and I’m sorry for your loss. Know that you aren’t alone, and that you will feel better some day. You won’t forget your beloved cat, but you will start to remember with peace and love. You never fully “get over death”…you just learn how to live with the wispy shadows of loss.
When You Feel Like You’ll Never Get Over Your Cat’s Death
Your home isn’t the same. You may still have cat toys, food, and bedding all over the place. And even if all your cat’s stuff is put away, you still see and feel your cat around corners, on chairs, and in your room at night.
And then there’s the memories, plus feelings of guilt and regret over your cat’s death.
Remember your cat, even though it hurts
It’s important to allow the pain of your cat’s death to move through you. It hurts, especially if you feel like you’ll die because of the heartache and grief. I know. But it’s important to accept and feel the deep loss, because feeling is healing.
The truth is, you may never fully get over your cat’s death. I’ve never gotten over the two cats I loved most, that I said good-bye to before I was ready. I’ll take my pain, regret, and guilt to my grave…and I’ll meet my cats in Heaven and rejoice! I know my cats forgive me — and I know your cat forgives you, too. Your cat loves you and wants you to be happy. Your cat is resting in peace.
Share the pain of losing your cat
I’m so glad SG shared her feelings about her cat’s death, because it helps other pet owners see that they’re not alone.
“Watching the cat I love so dearly slowly demise and die was heart-breaking,” says SG on my article about healing after a beloved cat dies. “I keep questioning everything about my cat’s death – could have done more? Did I let her suffer because I couldn’t bear to be apart from her? The vets told me several times they thought my cat’s quality of life was low, but I thought otherwise.”
Sometimes, you look back and know you would’ve made a different decision about your cat’s life and death. But you did the best you could at the time…and you have to be okay with that. Try to accept that you loved and cherished your cat and you’d never do anything to hurt him or her. And then, you need to let your cat go. Even when it feels like you’ll never get over your cat’s death….you must try to forgive yourself.
Try different ways to grieve the death of your cat
In Kitty Comforts: Help and Hope for Coping With the Loss of Your Cat, I share a variety of different ways to move through the sad feelings after a cat dies.
This is an ebook to help you see you’re not alone, and give you different ways to move forward through grief. Your cat’s death is just as traumatic and sad as any other death in your life — and worse in some ways. The loss of a pet uncovers a surprising amount of past grief and pain, which is why you feel like you’ll never get over your cat’s death.
A cat is never “just a cat.” Don’t forget that. Give yourself time, patience, and tender loving care as you grieve your loss.
Accept the unanswered questions about your cat’s death
You’ll never know what would’ve happened if your cat didn’t die when she did. A longer life might have meant more pain and suffering. Try to accept that your cat’s death came at the right time.
“What if I was wrong about my cat’s life and death?” asked SG. “Why did she have to go blind in her last week? Why did the vets not manage her blood pressure and renal failure? I could have made my cat happier and she might still be here. Everything feels a blur and I’m trying to make sense of something which doesn’t make sense. I feel sick at the thought of time passing by.How can I last a lifetime without seeing my cat? What if we never meet again? I wish I could close my eyes and wake up somewhere with her. I don’t want this life without my cat. I love and miss her so much.”
Trust in God’s love and peace
Only a beautiful, holy, joyful God could create such creatures as cats! Kittens are heart-meltingly adorable, cats maddeningly haughty and regal…and yet so loving and affectionate. Cats are amazing creatures, and they point to God’s sense of humor, love, and joy.
When you feel like you’ll never get over your cat’s death, picture your cat in God’s sweet Heaven. Give yourself self the gift of a childlike faith, a beautiful and calm acceptance of life, death, and Jesus. Know that there IS more to this world than what we see, and that His love and grace covers you.
Trust, believe, and accept. I know how much it hurts to lose a cat you love so much…and I also know the only healing is found in Jesus. Take a deep breath, and look upward in faith. Allow His love and peace to fill your heart.
If you feel like you’ll never get over your cat’s death, you may find Comforting Prayers for the Loss of a Beloved Dog or Cat helpful.
Your thoughts are welcome below! I don't give advice, but you can get free relationship help from marriage coach Mort Fertel.